Am I Being Too Sensitive and Critical

[Linda and Bailey]

So I have posted these last couple of days about trying to find a groomer for Bailey. Before I had Bailey, I had my standard poodle, Ginger. She was my heart dog. She has been gone a year now and I miss her daily. Anyway for 11 years I took Ginger to our groomer. She went every 6-8 weeks. and her prices were on the high end, but Ginger loved her. She did a great job. The one problem I had was that she sometimes would go out of town and call and cancel and I would reschedule my appointment for another week or two longer, which I had no problem with. I lost Ginger on a Tuesday and had an appointment to be groomed the following Friday. That phone call to cancel that appointment was very difficult. I had to leave a message telling my groomer what happened and thanked her for always taking such good care of my girl. My groomer never called me or acknowledged Ginger's passing in any way. To this day, I'm still mad, hurt and shocked that she never contacted me, which is why I didn't go back with Bailey. Am I being too sensitive and critical that she never contacted me saying she was sorry for my loss? Would you go back to a groomer after that?

[Jen W]

Death is so hard.  People don't know how to react to someone else's grief and many times they choose to simply not react b/c they don't know what to say.  I have been guilty of this myself.

Everyone deals differently, personally I wouldn't judge someone for not reacting the way I wanted them to.

[Miss Ellie]

Hi Linda,

You are absolutely not being too critical...that is just horrible...terribly, terribly insensitive on your groomer's part.  Even if she didn't get your message, you would thing that after 11 years she would call and make sure everything was okay if she hadn't heard from you in awhile.

So very sorry for your loss of Ginger.  We lost our sweet golden retriever Jack this past February and I still miss him every day too and still have bouts of sadness & crying.  They become such a huge part of your life and family and it is a terrible loss when they are no longer with us.  Sending you big hugs! 

[Pat and Traveler]

So sorry for your loss.  The groomer should have acknowledged Ginger's passing and contacted you.  Especially since you had such a long relationship and she called if you were late.  In her favor, if Ginger loved her and enjoyed her grooming visits, that means something too.  I might continue with her just because of Ginger's vote of confidence. 

[Anja]

Sorry about your Ginger. I would give her the benefit of the doubt. You never know what she might have been dealing with at the same time. Maybe someone else listened to your message and canceled the appointment without telling the groomer the reason why.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

I agree totally with Joanne's comment.  I think in the perfect world, we would always have just exactly the proper response to what is needed and at the proper time, however this world is not perfect.   I think back to the many times I have NOT responded with love and empathy when I should have.  Mostly it was because I hadn't had enough life experiences to help me really understand what the other person was going through. There are other groomers in the world you can give your business to and HOPE they express a better long term personal commitment to your feelings, or you can continue with this groomer for the positive personal attention she gives to your dog when she has Bailey, understanding that her wonderfulness is reserved for when you are there. 

[Debbie & Gibbs]

Sorry for your loss.  Years ago I took my 3 Westie's in for grooming James Bond, Money Penny and Felix, when I went to pick up Money Penny and Felix she asked why JB short for James Bond wasn't there and I told her that we had to put JB down very suddenly for cancer.  She stood there and just broke down in tears and told  me how much she loved him and she missed grooming him that day.  She sent me a sympathy card and I knew then, she was not only my groomer, but she loved my dogs.  It's very painful losing your pet and it takes time.