At my wit's end, just want training to work!!

[Jess & Stewart]

I'll be the first to say it. I'm a bad owner and I think Stew's the boss.

He has been horrible this week.

I should title this discussion, STEW WON'T.

-go near his crate,

-come when called,

-handle brush/mat removal; he backs away when I try to brush him and screams if I hit a mat, even if I'm brushing gently and giving praise/treats

-let me leash the Easy Walk without trying to bite it

-follow me into the bedroom at bed time

-get off the couch when asked

-ask (sit/down, trick) to jump onto the couch/bed

-give up anything in his mouth with growling

-eat his stuffed kongs during the day

-stop screaming/barking when I leave for the day

-stop barking anytime he wants my attention

I've tried redirecting the barking and being firm with commands so that he follows them, but he's being totally onery. The past two days he has not eaten any of his breakfast from the Kongs and he'll eat them when my friend comes over at lunch time to play/walk him. He was getting MUCH better with being in the crate. I'd leave for work to no noise at all and come home to some crazy barking but it lasted 2 minutes tops. He's also started not following me to bed, or if he does as soon as I shut my bedroom door he cries and scratches to get out and won't listen to me when I try to redirect. There is also nothing to tether him to at night, I have ikea nightstands that he'd probably knock over and no door handles on my closet/bathroom to hook him to.

I feel like I've just been horrible to him, because I mainly redirect him then given him something to chew in hopes to quiet him. I'm sure he's not getting enough energy but he also seems lazy. He won't chase after anything or really play, he prefers to just hoard the toys and chew on them. I have to run around with the toy at his mouth level and act crazy to get him engaging with me to play. He does great on his walks and stays right by me though. I walk him at least an hour morning and when I get home, then smaller bathroom walks at night also.

I feel AWFUL being frank with a trainer and just saying that I really can't take it, even though I understand it takes time to change behaviors. I just want something to work as a basis that he just snaps right to attention and thinks "WHOA, MOM REALLY WANTS ME TO DO THIS OR STOP THIS". Even if that just happens once, then I KNOW he's listening, getting it.

My family keeps telling me I need to assert myself and have Stew think "man, I made mom really mad and she's letting me know she's the boss. They want me to just whack him once when he gets really nippy, growling, snapping and he'll learn that's not ok. I'm not ok doing that, but also not ok with how things have been going. I've started a new job and barely have time to think, let alone arrange training classes for after work. I can't find any near me on a weekend day.

[Carol and Banjo]

That's so interesting Karen.   I'm sorry for your loss.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Thanks, Carol. She was only 46 years old, and one of the nicest people I've ever known. 

[F, Calla & Luca]

What a sad story. I am sure you miss her.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

A lot. :) 

[Jill, Woody & Maxi]

I am sorry to hear about your friend, and its also interesting to hear how a dogs psyche works.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Thanks, Jill. It really is. 

[Oliver & Elizabeth]

I'm very sorry to hear about your friend. I know that loosing my status with Oliver would break my heart, I hope that I could be as understanding.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Thanks, Elizabeth. 

[Elizabeth, Bailey & Bruin]

The only advice I have for you is to make sure your "stern NO" is really that.  with our trainer the kind of NO we say will shake you in your boots and startle anyone that doesn't see it coming..  this is how Wally our Trainer explains it..

Imagine a child( you are the child) trying to get your moms( Stew is the Mom) attention.  You tug on her shirt mom? mom? mom? mom? mom? etc....  This happens over and over again....or the child (you) yells one time really really loudly MOM!!!! to get her attention...which one do you think works best?

Keep a leash on him and when you say Stew time for bed, get off the couch or whatever you want him to do, If he doesn't, yell NO in your biggest voice ever, tug his leash and then right away,  in a normal talking voice, give him the command again...Stew time for bed etc etc etc...

Stew needs to know that you are the boss and you mean business...  Right now he is being a PITA because you allow it...  Don't give up, you can do this it just takes some time..... He will not love you any less!!!

Good luck and keep us posted!!

[Lori, Quincy & Frankie]

Lots of good advice here-I hate to see you discouraged because you obviously want this to work for you and Stew!  Keep at it!  

[Lovemydoodle]

I recommend the book "The Perfect Puppy in 7 Days" by Dr. Sophia Yin, your situation sounds a lot like a scenario she describes in her book and also sounds like you've been doing some things she mentions in her book, like having the dog wait before going through doors (you're on the right track). 

Also, like some other people have said, hormones and growth equal doggy teenage years.  Because they can't talk back they misbehave and know that this too shall pass.  Raising a good mattered puppy is only easy if you don't care.  Think of the end result and know it will be worth it in the end.

Until then, best of luck !!

[Deborah Brown]

Well, Penny was a horrible puppy.  The first six months were extremely difficult.  I had other dogs which at least gave me some confidence.  After that things got better and now she is 20 months my best buddy.   How old is Stew now?  

I hesitate to offer this advice but if you really need to tell him off and he isn't "getting" the firm NO, you might try treating him the way a mother dog would: grab him at the back at the neck, push him down toward the floor and give him a shake.  Mom would do it with her mouth.  I've had to do this once or twice and it has gotten the point across nicely.

I'm sorry you are not enjoying Stew and it sounds like you are totally at your wits end.  Maybe don't work so hard at it.  If he doesn't want to play the way a trainer says he should, that's OK.  It he just likes hoarding and chewing toys, that's OK too.  If he doesn't want to sleep with you, then he is back in his crate.  That might not be what you envisioned but some dogs like their own space.