At my wit's end, just want training to work!!

[Jess & Stewart]

I'll be the first to say it. I'm a bad owner and I think Stew's the boss.

He has been horrible this week.

I should title this discussion, STEW WON'T.

-go near his crate,

-come when called,

-handle brush/mat removal; he backs away when I try to brush him and screams if I hit a mat, even if I'm brushing gently and giving praise/treats

-let me leash the Easy Walk without trying to bite it

-follow me into the bedroom at bed time

-get off the couch when asked

-ask (sit/down, trick) to jump onto the couch/bed

-give up anything in his mouth with growling

-eat his stuffed kongs during the day

-stop screaming/barking when I leave for the day

-stop barking anytime he wants my attention

I've tried redirecting the barking and being firm with commands so that he follows them, but he's being totally onery. The past two days he has not eaten any of his breakfast from the Kongs and he'll eat them when my friend comes over at lunch time to play/walk him. He was getting MUCH better with being in the crate. I'd leave for work to no noise at all and come home to some crazy barking but it lasted 2 minutes tops. He's also started not following me to bed, or if he does as soon as I shut my bedroom door he cries and scratches to get out and won't listen to me when I try to redirect. There is also nothing to tether him to at night, I have ikea nightstands that he'd probably knock over and no door handles on my closet/bathroom to hook him to.

I feel like I've just been horrible to him, because I mainly redirect him then given him something to chew in hopes to quiet him. I'm sure he's not getting enough energy but he also seems lazy. He won't chase after anything or really play, he prefers to just hoard the toys and chew on them. I have to run around with the toy at his mouth level and act crazy to get him engaging with me to play. He does great on his walks and stays right by me though. I walk him at least an hour morning and when I get home, then smaller bathroom walks at night also.

I feel AWFUL being frank with a trainer and just saying that I really can't take it, even though I understand it takes time to change behaviors. I just want something to work as a basis that he just snaps right to attention and thinks "WHOA, MOM REALLY WANTS ME TO DO THIS OR STOP THIS". Even if that just happens once, then I KNOW he's listening, getting it.

My family keeps telling me I need to assert myself and have Stew think "man, I made mom really mad and she's letting me know she's the boss. They want me to just whack him once when he gets really nippy, growling, snapping and he'll learn that's not ok. I'm not ok doing that, but also not ok with how things have been going. I've started a new job and barely have time to think, let alone arrange training classes for after work. I can't find any near me on a weekend day.

[Laurie, Wally & Charlotte]

Have you discussed Stew's behavior and its associated challenges with your veterinarian?  Perhaps there's a medical reason to explain why he's acting out and why he often chooses to lay around instead of interacting nicely with you.  Just a thought . . . 

[Adina P]

Just to address physical corrections:
I think in general such corrections work best inside a program of obedience training where there is a clear thing taught, practiced and then when done wrong corrected. Then it is less arbitrary seeming for the dog and he understands it better...rather than only correcting for bad behavior.

[Jess & Stewart]

I'm going to call around to other trainers. What I think I need is for someone to SEE Stew in action when he guards, THEN tell me how to handle it. The other trainer didn't want me to escalate him as she called it and gave me ways to prevent/de sensitize him to me approaching. It does actually work well if he's just chewing on something and I can work with him. Except all bets are off when he goes crazy like he did with the towel.

I think my concerns will be more received if they see Stew in action. Otherwise, trainers think I mean quick fix when I really mean something that quickly works to snap him out of that mode when it occurs, so I don't feel overtaken with crazy growling dog. Then I can quickly correct him and in that moment work with him instead of feeling like I need to ignore.

I started looking through Doggy Dan's videos-he has a great approach!

[Deborah Brown]

This is a good idea.  I do understand that normally trainers don't want to push a dog into a stressful situation but sometimes you need to demonstrate the problem.  You can also try to get a video but, of course, your hands are full when Stew is acting up.  Maybe give the original trainer a chance to help.  Explain that you need to know how to handle the crazy moments.

Most solutions will involve management of the problem.  That is what the trainer has already taught you.  Find ways to avoid the high stress situations.  Maybe that means not using high value chew toys.  But the towel is NOT what you'd consider a high value toy and you also need to know how to handle the times when things get crazy.

I believe that Stew is a difficult dog.  Usually the difficult ones are the most rewarding in the end.  Getting there is a battle and I hope you don't give up.

[Cheryl and Finnegan]

Jess, I think you're on the right track.  It sounds like this started out as puppy play but Stew found out he can make you back off by growling or snapping. He knows he can take  charge of the game whenever HE wants.  Go through the Doggie Dan videos (I swear his "thank you " approach works like a charm), and if you can, get yourself and Stew into a good training program, and arrange a private session in your home to deal with Stew's resource guarding.   IMHO, a training program will give you many more tools. Understanding "dog," working in as many settings as possible,  using a structured program --it's all intertwined. It  will really help you build confidence and help build a healthier relationship between you and Stew. It will also give you support when you feel frustrated.  Believe me, Finn is 4 and I still make calls to our trainer.  She's in Bucks County.  I wish she was closer to you - you would love her too.  I would look for someone with strong credentials, who trains for the Canine Good Citizen test, AND who has experience with your concerns.  If Stew is healthy, don't worry about him not eating his Kong or not interacting sometimes.  Stew will be Stew.  I'm sure he loves you. But the minute you get frustrated or scared, you hand over decision making to Stew.  Also sometimes problems aren't what you think.  Maybe Stew doesn't really want that towel, he's just bored.  Does he get to run off-leash somewhere.  Burn off mental energy.  If not, he may be inventing games you don't like.  Just a thought.

[Stella]

Stick with it, you will get there. Consistency is the key. I think getting advice from a good trainer is a good idea, it will help you to know you are doing the right thing and make you more confidant. My Hartley was a monster as a puppy, I'd phone my mum in tears sometimes. He was very stubborn and if he didn't get his way would leap up on me an bite my arms. In the middle of summer I was going to work in long sleeves to hide the bruises! He would also throw himself on the floor and have a tantrum - not fun when it happened in public! He wouldn't walk nicely on the leash and I wouldn't turn for home until he did, some days I walked that dog for hours!! But, we kept going to classes, kept listening to the trainer, kept practicing and training at home and now he is the most awesome gentle dog ever. I was so worried he was going to be aggressive because he kept biting me, but he was just being a stroppy teenager. Once he began to respect me (which I think is totally different from seeing me as 'pack leader' which everyone seems so obsessed with these days), and progressed out of the teenage phase, he settled down and is a wonderful dog. But, it took a lot of time and hard work, patience and consistency on my part to get there. I found going to classes also useful as it gave me a support network of local people to talk to and go and practice with outside of class too. At the moment he is testing you, seeing how far he can push you and what he can get away with. You need to get his guarding sorted out as soon as possible, as it will get harder as he gets bigger and realizes he can intimidate you.

For your crate issues, I really recommend you get Susan Garrett's Crate Games DVD. It is a great resource for working with him on accepting the crate and settling into it happily. It sounds to me like he is unhappy in the crate and that is why he makes such a fuss. It is a fun DVD, and it helped my second dog who was crate phobic!

As others have said, it may be worth getting him checked out at the vet to rule out a medical reason for his behaviour. Some conditions, such as thyroid disorders can make a dog lethargic and also can cause behavioural changes, including aggression.

Good luck, keep going, you can do it, and it will be so worth it in the end!

[Jess & Stewart]

He's actually full grown I believe. He hasn't gotten any taller or heavier since about mid April after he was neutered. He's 22-23 lbs. That's one of the good things about getting control-he won't be any bigger!

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

Jess,

I had/have a very trying doodle. Honestly, I am so happy he found us and we have him as ours.  Dont give up. EVER.

Positive training works.  It is not just a six-week course but a life time of living and learning. Practice every day.Just like you do in your life, it is one day at a time, one challenge at a time, one step at a time.  But that one day, leads to many. It all builds up into a huge beautiful thing.  

Your dog is a approaching probably one of the most trying times in dog ownership.  If you think about it, most dogs in shelters are 6-14 months old.  No longer cute and in that teenage stage, someone didnt or couldn't handle that very important stage.  With us here, I KNOW YOU CAN.  I know, you are going to have one big, wonderful doodle.

Yes, this is your first dog. Yes, your family probably thinks you are nuts. But yes, those of us who have done this before, find this stage a challenge.   A big challenge. Horrible days and funny days and... it is tough.

Anger wont work. Hitting teaches a dog to be fearful which leads to aggression. Your dog, who already has its share of challenges wont fair well with negative training.

Remember, go with your gut. What YOU already know is the right way to train.  You are already half way there  :)

Looking forward to working with you and Stew for life here in DK

[Stella]

"Like"!!!

[BG and Gavin]

Me too!!!

[F, Calla & Luca]

Three.

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

So well said Joanne.