DON'T KILL THE MESSENGER

[Pam and Ginger Snap]

Hi All,

I have been on this site for a year and a half. I have gotten some great advise and made some nice friends.  I have gotten great grooming tips, food advice, lots of laughs and a few tears.  However, I have noticed recently when people ask questions, there is a tendency to be a little forceful with answers.  A lot of people are asking  questions or looking for solutions for real problems....aggressive dogs, food issues, re-homing issues...and instead of lending a sympathetic ear and helpful advice, there seems to be some quick responses with judging comments.  Often times I feel sorry for the person asking the question, and some of the answers are mean-spirited.  Some are very helpful.

Sometimes people don't see previous posts.  When someone re-posts something, or asks a question, again...the poster is not doing it to be a pain...maybe they just didn't see the original post.

I like this site. I like knowing peoples stories, and their pups.

I hope that this post can make people think twice before they post an answer to a post, where the poster is seeking advice.  The advice might be something that the poster does not like, but it can be stated in a kinder way.

For example, I am really nervous that people are going to react harshly to this post.

[Gail and Bailey]

Very well said.  I know it is a sensitive topic but I agree that IF a person feels they must give up a dog, I would rather have them come here for advice and guidance than just list the dog on Craig's list or take it to the pound.  At least  DK can lead them in the right direction.  When you said, "It might be ultimately better for the dog to re-home rather than stay in a home where they weren't getting cared for."......I think you are right on target!!!!     Now...for a really hot topic.... expand this thinking to all the mistreated children in the world!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I'd love to see how nice people would be about some of these posts if the subject were human children and not dogs, lol.

"I didn't realize how much work a baby is and I can't keep getting up in the middle of the night to feed her, I need my rest. Plus the smell of diapers makes me sick. Does anyone here know of a nice couple who might like a 3 month old brown-eyed baby? She is really very good and only cries when she's hungry..."

 

[AndySharon BoomerShaynaMariner]

 

That is one of my favorite analogies.

[F, Calla & Luca]

But kids are abandonned and abused and you name it. Which could lead to a more hot button topic about children being born when they are wanted. But I would not like to see some of the comments aired on that one.

[BG and Gavin]

(said with sarcasm) The solution is simple - have your human spayed or neutered!

[Gail and Bailey]

BG...you may have said it with sarcasm but at times it seems like the perfect solution.

[F, Calla & Luca]

One of a number of good solutions but there are folks who would have a problem with that : )

[Adina P]

I think it is a whole other level of evil to say that about one's child. Getting 'rehomed' would do far more mental and emotional harm to a human child than a dog. Just as being left in a crate alone for even 2 hrs a day while I went shopping would do more harm to a child than a dog and not being allowed off leash would do more harm to a child than a dog. I 'get' the analogy but don't agree it is a fair comparison.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

No it's not a fair analogy and not meant to be. But some of us are just as outraged by irresponsible treatment of dogs as we are of children. They are both helpless and dependent on the people who care for them to make the right choices for their welfare. If people don't want to do right by them, they shouldn't have them- kids or dogs. It's the same issue of love and commitment. When you love a child, you do what you have to do, regardless of how difficult it may be and what kind of hardships it creates. I feel that way about my dogs, too. When you love a dog (and I love my dogs), you find a way.

[Amy, Cubbie & Ollie]

but if you adopt out a child you can charge a higher fee  :)  no one comments about paying $10k for an adopted child yet $500 for an adopted dog is too high.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I've been a member of 6 doodle forums, and countless other dog-related forums. Aside from a support group for health issues, DK is the only one in which I still regularly participate. It's the largest doodle forum because it's the best doodle forum. We have the smartest, funniest, most well-informed, most generous members around. The information and advice here is the most accurate you can find in a social forum. The outpouring of generosity and genuine concern for members who are truly in need of help is unmatched.

There are forums that are so rigid, you can barely post a word without being censored. That was a place where even I was afraid to ask a question. There are also forums where "anything goes". People post that the puppy mill dog they bought from a pet store is having puppies, and people congratulate them and celebrate. No one says a discouraging word. If you're looking for "kind" and nice, there you go. Of course, you won't get much information or advice there that's accurate when you have a sick dog or a training issue.

I left the forum where the people were rigid because I was uncomfortable and didn't enjoy being there. I didn't post a complaint about how mean they were, I just left. I left the forum where irresponsible breeding was celebrated in the same way. As many have said here, I wasn't going to change them.

I guess my point is that every forum isn't for everybody, and we are all free to choose to participate or not. There's something out there for everyone. I think compared to every other on-line forum I have seen, we are very lucky to have DK and each other.

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

Perfect!