DON'T KILL THE MESSENGER

[Pam and Ginger Snap]

Hi All,

I have been on this site for a year and a half. I have gotten some great advise and made some nice friends.  I have gotten great grooming tips, food advice, lots of laughs and a few tears.  However, I have noticed recently when people ask questions, there is a tendency to be a little forceful with answers.  A lot of people are asking  questions or looking for solutions for real problems....aggressive dogs, food issues, re-homing issues...and instead of lending a sympathetic ear and helpful advice, there seems to be some quick responses with judging comments.  Often times I feel sorry for the person asking the question, and some of the answers are mean-spirited.  Some are very helpful.

Sometimes people don't see previous posts.  When someone re-posts something, or asks a question, again...the poster is not doing it to be a pain...maybe they just didn't see the original post.

I like this site. I like knowing peoples stories, and their pups.

I hope that this post can make people think twice before they post an answer to a post, where the poster is seeking advice.  The advice might be something that the poster does not like, but it can be stated in a kinder way.

For example, I am really nervous that people are going to react harshly to this post.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Bless you! And Allyson, who does the hard work on that list, blesses you too!

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Yes, a FAQ or a directory! For questions about food click THIS button, For questions about training click THIS button, for questions about breeders click THIS button! :)

[Pat and Traveler]

Good reminder, Pam.  There are hot button questions or subjects--you mentioned some of them.  Ideally, we would ask ourselves, before we post, whether our answer is going to help this particular owner and dog in this particular situation.  It's easy to slip into generalization, particularly when the subject involves something that causes us to hit the red zone.  If, for example, the poster has a question about loose stools in a cute puppy she got for $100 from a puppy mill, she may welcome and deserve some education about puppy mills in general, but hounding her (pun intended:) about her poor choices isn't going to help this particular puppy at this particular time.   

 

[Charlotte and Bo]

Sometimes people see what they're afraid they are going to see.  I had a boss who was a little obsessive and would leave post-it notes all over our desks and phones to remind us of this and that.  One of my co-workers would get very upset by this because he was sure our boss was being critical of how he was doing his job.  He would look at the note and feel like he was being yelled at for whatever. The notes were reminders of a task that needed to be done, and what my co-worker  saw he projected into it.  I think we can all easily do this when we throw our worries and stresses into what is written in black and white in front of us.  Then again, Sometimes people are just nasty.:)

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

But nobody on DK is nasty! :)

[Pat and Traveler]

Love it!  All 9,233 at last count.  :)

[F, Calla & Luca]

I think we should start planning the 10,000 member celebration at about 9700. What do you think?

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

Yes! We should give them a prize!

[Charlotte and Bo]

Of course not!  (This is a reply to dk members being nasty, not F's celebration. )

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Hold on now, Charlotte, F Parker wrote a discussion comparing me to Julia Child....not Julia Roberts....Julia Child! I think that is 100x worse than a couple of post it notes....LOL!!!  I was just minding my business one day and woke up to that discussion. Just sayin' :)

[Charlotte and Bo]

I don't know-- She had fame fortune and a pretty good sense of humor.  She also ate pretty well :-)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

All true :) I guess I will forgive her. LOL