I am HOME!!!

[Jennifer and Jack]

I was discharged from the hospital today. I still have fevers but the work up is over for now. There is no other source of infection in my body. If my fever doesn't break soon we know it is the device in my heart. I have had every kind of catscan, MRI, Xray and culture at the off chance that there was an infection I had that was not showing up.

It was our sincere hope we would find something..but nothing. nothing hurts me. My lungs are behaving etc.

The plan now is for me to go home, stay on the one antibiotic that is thought to be effective and pray that the fevers go away. It is a waiting game at this point. I am on high doses of steroids that are starting to be tapered which might give the fever a chance to come out even more if the fever is going to.

If the fever goes up or doesn't quit we will need to pursue more testing toward my heart. They have not wanted to do anything invasive on me including testing that would even confirm infection on the heart.

They had wanted to do a PET scan but that test is ineffective when you are on steroids because it inhibits the uptake of glucose which is the bases of the test.

So. Let me just say. There has been a lot of talk of my odds of surviving a surgery. I will not listen to that CRAP any more. I have told my doctors and I will tell anyone else who says to me they don't think I am a good surgical candidate..BACK OFF you don't know me, my stubbornness or my God. I hope and I pray that I don't need to have that surgery but I will not fear it and I will not for one minute think about my odds, so please don't you either.....

I am a stubborn, stubborn, stubborn girl and I always get what I want... and I want to do well if I have to have it so I will.... Thank you to so many of you on here, and so many of my Paw Pad Family I have plenty of money to travel to the best hospital around to have the surgery if it needs to occur. Again my heart felt prayer, and begging of God is that this fever just goes away on the medication but I will not live in fear. Open heart surgery is nothing to sneeze at but nothing to fear when it has a chance to make you better...

So that said....Fevers BE GONE.....

Jack is at my mom's. Since my discharge to home is contingent on me not spiking fevers and since my mom is 2 1/2 hours away I am leaving Jack there for the week. I don't like it, but it is best for him to have stability. He is very very attached to my mom and Molly and when I bring him home I want to have a little more assurance that it is going to be for good or at least a long time. I can't keep driving back and fourth and I can't keep dragging him around.

I talk to my mom several times a day, she is not coming up to be with me now, she is very tired and burnt out, she is overwhelmed and she needs to take care of herself and the dogs.

Thank God I have amazing friends that I work/worked with and they have set up people to be with me. When I was in the hospital all I had to do was call and they arranged it for me, I had someone sleep with me at the hospital to distract me. Being alone is hard for me at the moment for a lot of reasons mostly because I think too much.

I received from my breeder today the names of everyone who has contributed to my funds and I am so overwhelmed and so grateful. I am personally working on cards for you to send to my breeder to mail out with the magnets.

Sorry for those who were excluded from it, I don't think the intention was to put it on here and since my breeder breeds goldendoodles, the magnet was for Golden Doodles YET so many of you contributed anyway.

My heart is so full....full of love NOT INFECTION. My body and soul is filled with HOPE not disease and my mind is filled with PEACE not fear.

I will be posting soon before you know it about Jack..bringing him home, about a million other questions I have.. but for now I just wanted to give you an update... and a big huge hug and say I am grateful for ever kind word, kind thought from those who are not praying people, prayers from those who are. Ever deed word and thought fills me right up..

I am so happy to be home in my own bed. I have friends taking turns staying from my neighborhood and church and work. So I am well taken care of.

Please pray my fevers away!!

[Deanna & Desi & Cori]

The letter of the day is "J" - Jumping for Joy for Jennifer!!!  Okay, so maybe I have been watching a few too many Sesame Street videos (that's what happens when you have a 19 month old around).  So glad you're home!  Sometimes the best medicine is your own bed and your familiar surroundings.  Kick that fever in the butt and tell it to be gone!!!!

[Gail+Kathleen,(Sydney+Olivia:)]

Jennifer, thanks for letting us all know that you are home.  We are pulling for you and waiting to hear more wonderful news.  We are praying for you and sending you positive thoughts!

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

So glad you are home and I'm sending prayers your way for the fever to be gone, gone, gone very soon!

[Colleen, Jake & Baxter]

I pray that the fevers will be gone and that you may rest in His peace. Be still and know that He is God:)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Jennifer, I am so glad you are home and I will continue to keep you in my prayers. FEVER...GO AWAY!!

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

YaHoo, wonderful news. You keep on fighting the good fight Jennifer. So glad you are gonna be sleeping in your own bed.

[Jarka, Monty & Auggie]

Being in your own house and your own bed might be the best medicine for you now. You have gone through so much and traveled a lot. There is no better place to recoup than at home.  I trust that the fever goes away soon now. You are awesome!

[Adina P]

:-)  I will pray for healing.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Jennifer, I am so glad that you are home. I am praying that your fevers just go away with the antibiotic.  I know what a great sacrifice you are making to have Jack stay with your mom right now and I admire you for it.  I hope he can come home to you soon.

[Jennifer and Jack]

Thank you all so much.. I so appreciate your love and support

Nancy it is killing me not to have Jack with me but I need to keep things stable for him.. Next week if I prove to be doing okay.. He will come home with me....but it listening to my mom tell me how cute he is, how cute he looks during his bath or playing or walking or doing anything brings me to instant tears.......

I need to make the adjustment as easy as possible for him because he is the love of my life and he needs stability and routine.....He is so attached to Molly and my mom when I bring him home, I want it to be for what I feel is going to be a good time...

I wish I could snuggle with him and I have not been in my house without Jack for over three years so weird.... but I am sleeping with his blanket...

[Maryann,Roo and Tigger]

So very glad to hear that you are home.   It will help in your recovery as will your strong will, attitude and belief in God.  Fevers are known to come and go for no known reason, even with every test in the book.  Watch funny movies, smile even when you don't feel like it and know that I send prayers on wings. 

[Doris]

I love that you are stubborn . . . and knowing that you have faith in God and many friends praying for you is all you need.  Say goodbye to that fever!