It's so quiet... sans paws...

[Mandy & Benny]

It will be six weeks this Sunday that I lost Riley.  He was the first dog I've ever had, and I couldn't imagine ever having one better.  I've cried every single day since he passed, but for whatever reason, yesterday I woke up and smiled at the thought of him instead of reaching for the tissue box in anticipation of the waterworks.  I teared up as I smiled, but I didn't have the usual sob-fest.  Finally- progress!  I'm still plagued by guilt and emptiness, but I guess this is a step forward.  I kind of feel guilty for it though, if that makes sense... kind of like I'm leaving him behind.  I know I have to move forward, I'm just having a hard time doing so without him.  I can't look in the backyard, I can't clean the nose smears off of my front windows where he spent so much time, I can't move his giant bed to the basement where I can't see it.  I still wait to hear the tap-tap-tap down the hallway and the nudge at my feet when he thought I was taking up too much of his space on my bed.  The silent house is really making me nuts.  Clearly I'm not past my loss yet, but do any of you think it would be a good idea to start seriously thinking about another doodle?  In some ways I think I should, based on how difficult it is for me to be alone in my house.  At the same time I get a feeling of being disloyal to Riley, kind of like I'm tossing him aside for someone else.  

A friend of mine who bought a doodle because of her love for Riley told me she is getting another one. There are a few in that litter not yet reserved, they should be ready to go at the beginning of June.  They are going to be red, not light like Riley.  I've been going back and forth with it, thinking that by then perhaps I won't be a mess over the thought anymore.  I hate to use the word 'replace', but I've never had to get a pet to take the place of a previous love.  I'm sure many of you have before- how do you do it and not feel like you are being disloyal to the one you lost?  I appreciate any suggestions from all of you wise doodle lovers...

[Nicky, Riley & Boris]

Love is an amazing thing. It has the ability to expand to infinity. Your love for Riley will never be diminished if you get and love a new puppy. There is room in your heart for both, for Riley's memory and for a new Doodle who will never be a replacement, just a new love. I have never been without a dog, the ones that have passed are still in my heart and will be there forever.

[Judy, Meg & Polly Wolly Doodle]

I certainly understand your feelings, losing those we love does leave us with dilemmas. The truth is that time does go on and it helps heal the wounds while it also helps us preserve the best memories. Ask yourself this, if it had been you instead of Riley that left would you want someone else to be there and love and care for Riley? Of course you would and I bet Riley feels the same way about you having someone else. When you feel ready start searching for your next love and honor Riley through your memories. When you have had something wonderful it is natural to want more.

[Lynda Kamrath]

You'll know when you are ready for another puppy and it will not be a replacement for Riley.  Riley will always be with you.  I lost my first doodle in 2010 and it was tough on me but even tougher on my other doodle.  He just sat on my feet and would not even look out the window.  I got another doodle immediately, more for him than for me, but he (the new ALD) has wormed his way into our hearts.  He is a naughty boy, but that is even part of his charm.  Love that little quote by Blemie.  Hang in there. Cry as much as you need to and then move on.  I sure can understand your feelings.

[Lori, Quincy & Frankie]

I am late to this post-I read through all the previous.  I love that every single one supports bringing a new doodle into your life.  Most of us have gone through this-no one said it was a mistake to get another.  It certainly was absolutely the right choice for us, the only "mistake" being that we waited so long.  So re-read Karen's post and all of the others and go forward.  There is a lucky doodle out there waiting for your love!    

[Linda, Webber and Seda]

I have been there too.  Get another puppy!!  They heal your heart.  I lost a black female so I got an apricot male because I didn't want to lay any old expectations on a new puppy.  Sounds silly to me now, they are so completely different that I never could have considered the new one a replacement for the lost one, no matter what sex or color!  Like some have said, the new puppy will keep you so busy the time will fly.  Good luck :-)

[Lynette Main]

Get another Doodle!!!!

[Mandy & Benny]

When I got home tonight I re-read all of these posts.  You all have made me realize that moving forward and getting a new friend is a good thing, not something that I should feel bad or guilty about.  I would very much like to have a furry friend to hug again, and it seems that you think it's a good idea as well.  You've all stated so eloquently what I was hoping to hear-and some of your comments really hit home for me.  

My sister and her husband came into town today, and we just spent a while looking at Riley pictures and talking about his antics and the sweet personality that we miss so much.  He is the one I want, but that's not a possibility.  I do think he was an amazing example of what a true friend can be, and the relationship I had with him makes me want to always have one like him around.  Thank you all for bringing that to my attention and making me see the bigger picture.  Still deciding if I should go for it sooner or later, but I know now that it's okay to open my heart to another set of paws.  

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I'm glad we could help, Mandy. Hugs to you. 

[Lonnie & Libby Lu]

Mandy, you are an amazing person and when the time is right another Doodle will come into your heart with lots of love!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

I am so glad that we could comfort you.  Best wishes for whenever you decide to add a new furry friend to your family.

[Cheryl and Finnegan]

I'm so glad we could help.  This is one of the reasons the DK people are so wonderful.  We laugh a lot but we really do hurt for each other too.  I look forward to welcoming another furry heart here when the time is right for you.

[Maryann,Roo and Tigger]

I comletely agree with Karen.  I have had several dogs cross the rainbow bridge without me.  I have often, although not always, gotten a puppy from a litter that was born on the day my dog was lost to me.  Sounds a little weird or pathetic maybe, but it has worked for me.  All of my dogs hold a place in my heart, none are forgotten and yet there is always room for another one.  Once your heart has held a dog close, there is always a place for another, I think.