Just Want To Talk...

[Joanie]

Hey everyone :)  You guys are always so good at listening and anwering questions related to my doodle.  I don't know... maybe you guys can help me too.  I'm just going through a hard time.  For the past two years I was working at this great job... part time, 20 hours a week, only 4 hours a day, out at noon everyday, making an excellent salary AND had benefits.  For the most part, I loved my job.  I felt so proud of it and besides doing Administrative Assistant work it also let me be creative by using PowerPoint.  Back in March the company restructured and my position was eliminated.  I didn't get to say goodbye to any of the people I had worked with for two years.  Just within a half hour period, my job was gone and I was told to leave.  No notice no nothing just leave.  It's been hard for me.  No closure, no nothing.  I don't do well when I don't have closure.  I since have been looking for a job, but I keep comparing everything to what I had.  I got offered this excellent job yesterday, full-time, at a company not even five minutes from my house, a big nationally known company, with paid holidays off, monday through friday, benefits, but the job is as a receptionist.  I guess I'm just scared now.  I'm scared, am I making the right choice?  Will I just be answering phones or will I also be doing secretarial work like I have been?  My husband says I have to leave the past job in the past, it's over and done with... but that's so hard for me because I keep looking back at what I had and what seemed to work for me.  How do I close the door on that part of my life and look forward and see this as a new adventure?  I just have so many questions and I'm just so scared and I want to do what's right for my family.  Any advice?

[Doris]

I'm sorry this is happening.  Here is my advice.  Take the job as a receptionist.  They will soon see that you are capable of more.  Getting your foot in the door at this point is key.  You can always move to a more challenging position!  Good luck!

[Nicky, Riley & Boris]

You know the saying 'feel the fear and do it anyway'?  I think you can do this even if you don't feel quite right yet about it. Change often comes from doing rather than thinking.  You do something and then your thinking changes...If you wait for the 'feelings' to be right then you may be waiting a very long  time.  I guess what I am saying is that for some people 'gut' feelings work and for others they don't.  As far as letting go the past I wonder if there is anything you can do in a symbolic way to help this along.  It sounds like this was a huge loss and what you are feeling is a little/a lot like grief.  Can you have a little goodbye for your old job ... think of something meaningful you can do say a final goodbye to that job and the past.  

[Cyndi, The Boys & Callie]

Years ago when I was a freshman in college, everything seemed to be closing in and I met with someone in the psychology department for counseling. The counselor pointed out that I was focusing on things that I could not change or control which was leading down a one-way street.  She suggested that I pick one area of my life that I had control over and focus on improving that.  In turn, that would give me a sense of accomplishment and help me confidently move onto other areas in my life.  It took me a long time to realize they gave me excellent advice (at the time, I really wanted someone to look in a crystal ball and tell me what to do).  Losing your job and the way it happened is tough and would knock anyone for a loop. But, you have control over how you react to what happens next.  It sounds like you have a great opportunity.  Think about giving it a try.  If it's not for you, there will be time to find something more suited to your interests.  On the other hand, it may open the door to bigger and better things.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

I am like you and like closure and don't do change well.  I found that in my career, every time I was forced to make a change, it actually turned out for the better.  Go for the new job - you can always keep looking for something else if it doesn't turn out to be what you want.

[Donna K & Quincy]

Joanie, Go for it, you may start out as a receptionist but you may end up running the company. :>) You are not making a lifetime committment and if it doesn't work out you can always move on. Don't pass up on a good oportunity, you may find out your previous company actually did you a favor. We sometimes have to have change forced up on us and it is not always a bad thing. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. When you find yourself even happier in your new job than your old one, you can send your old company a thank you note, now that would be the sweetest kind of closure.

[F, Calla & Luca]

I hate when companies act like the one you worked for did in letting you go. So disrespectful. Anyway, the new job sounds good and you will never know just what it entails until you are there. If you don't like it you can always leave and you don't even have to note it on a resume if you are only there a short while. It might be great. It might be flexible. It might be awful. I think you should try it.

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

I worked in the Administrative career field for 30 years.  Starting out at the bottom and working my way up.  In my case I worked my way up over and over again because my DH was military and we moved several times.   I was always able to make myself a valuable asset to each and every Company that I worked for.  Always making my way to the top of the Company, and then we would move.   I think that instead of focusing on what was, you should look at the brighter side which is that this is a new opportunity.  The best part about coming into the company as the Receptionist is that you are going to get to meet everyone in the Company.  It is the best place there is to learn about the Company and what part of it that you would like to move into.  My advice is to learn your new job and then take the same pride in it that you did in your old job.  Once you have it mastered, start asking others if you can help them when things are slow.  Be the first to volunteer for anything and everything, get noticed, do a great job and the rewards will follow.    It sounds like you have been handed a wonderful opportunity to make a real career.  It's full time, it is close to home, it is a large Company which should provide lots of opportunities to move into other areas.  Make all of the skills that you have known to others by volunteering to assist when the opportunity presents itself.  In the end it should be a win win for everyone.   Don't look back, look forward.  Make this job into what you want it to be.  The worst that can happen is you don't like it.  Even then, they always say it is easier to get a job when you have a job so that should make something else easier to find.  And as the receptionist you will have an opportunity to make lots of connections with the visitors coming into the building and you never know who you might meet and what opportunities they might have available.  Best of luck.  Keep us posted and let us know how it goes. 

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Joanie, I hope you go for it. You never know what life has in store for you and this could be even better than your old job. Good luck. I am rooting for you!!

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

Yes it's scary, yes it's wroth with uncertainty, yes it is not going to be like your last job. But all that can only be resolved by taking a deep breath, move forward knowing everyone has a learning curve and feels just as you do taking a new job. Sounds like you had a very nice job, and I have had many, but each new job opportunity lead me to an even better one, which at the time I just couldn't imagine anything better.
I can understand your anxiety, given your circumstances, so only do what you can comfortably do.

[Joanie]

Thank you everyone for the words of support :)  I feel soooo much better and not so scared just knowing others have been in this exact situation and everything turned out ok.  I will let everyone know how it goes at my new job.  I'm gonna try to think positively and go into it with an open mind.  They did tell me that the last person who had this job stayed in the position for a year and then got promoted!  So it looks like there's room for growth.  There's just so many positives about it so I just have to think and tell myself that it will be good and go with an open mind.  Thank you so much everyone :)

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

Sounds like a good plan. Good luck!

[Maryann,Roo and Tigger]

Sounds like you have made up your mind.  That's half-way home.  Go for it.

I really empathize with you.  My daughter was very successful in her career until March 2009.  Hers ended with a phone call.  She, too, struggles with depression, anxiety.  She just found a short term 6 month job and is elated at that.  It is really tough out there.  You sound similar to her.  She will be forty this year, so is probably older than you are.  She now realizes that she overanalyzes everything.  It doesn't stop her doing it, but it does help her realize that she needs to try and lighten up a bit.

Courage and bravery are doing what you fear in spite of the fear. Change is difficult, hard, scary.  Do it anyway. The job sounds good and the secret today is to get your foot in the door.    This job may turn out to be great or just so-so.  You are not defined by your work, although our world does make it seem that way.  You are also a wife, dog lover and just plain you.  

Anxiety is horrible, but controllable.  When you get adjusted to your new job, make a serious effort to figure out what helps you with your anxiety - not make it go away, just manageable.  Yoga? Walking?  Talking?  Writing to us on DK?  Self hypnosis?  Don't laugh - it worked for me and still does.  It's not really hynosis, its just a practiced techique for focus, which causes relaxation.