my doodle

[Ron Asker]

Oliver has a little trouble with men.   in some of his previous homes(we are his 4th)  he was abused.  whenever my son is home Oliver hides in a corner.  we think jordan might remind him of a person that abused him. most dogs like jordan the moment the meet him.  any ideas on how to make oliver like jo?

[Leslie J]

Cocoa has never been abused, but she was afraid of my brother in law when he came out to visit- he's very tall and has a very deep, gravely voice.  We took her on walks together and the activity seemed to help calm her.  I didn't pressure her to interact with him, I just let her walk with us and hear us chat together.  By the end of the stay she was going on walks with only him!  The next time he visited she was scared at first but (still cautiously) warmed up to him. Each time it has gotten easier.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Calm, quiet, and patience would be my mantra. I would let this happen over time and not push.  First of all I would have your son ignore him when he comes in and as you sit and talk quietly. When Oliver shows some interest, I would have your son offer him a treat from his seated position.  Others who have had more experience with this will have more advice.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I agree with Nancy.  I think it's important to take things slow.

[Maryann,Roo and Tigger]

The hardest thing is when a dog you want to touch and love is afraid of you.  And you have to do just the opposite of what you want to do.  Nancy had some good advice about calm, quiet and and patience.  Have your son travel with the best treats, the treats that come only from him and smell and taste delicious.  Small, soft, smelly treats are available at most pet stores.  Begin with no eye contact at all, eye contact for a dog is dominant and scary.  Also no words directed at Oliver just quiet talk if there is another person in the room. If Oliver comes into the room with your son, he casually drops the treat as far from him as he can without throwing it - very slowly, calmly, no eye contact, no words.  Over time, Oliver must come within a few feet of your son for the treat to drop - no eye contact, no words.  Progress to right by your son for the treat, then add a known word like good dog, said calmly  and so on.

 

If Oliver will tolerate it and your son will do it have Oliver's food come from your son.  Begin with your son just standing in the room with person who feeds Oliver and then standing close to Oliver and then taking the bowl from the original person and then actually doing the whole job.

 

This whole thing will probably only take a few days to a few weeks.  If your son is young you will probably have to make a game of it for him to keep him at it.  Make sure the game has no high fives or loud shouts until Oliver is really comfortable.

 

Good luck, before you know it your son will be Oliver's favorite.

[Judy, Meg & Polly Wolly Doodle]

A lot of great advice, we have had that issue in the past and that is basically how we worked it out to great results.  Hope it works quickly for your Oliver.

[Doris]

My mom has a rescue dog that was terrified of men.  All of the advice given so far is great.  Sophie has learned to love my DH and both of my sons.  She still shakes when she sees my brother in law.  We think his voice must be similar to who ever abused her.  I must say that acceptance did not happen quickly.  It's ok for Oliver to retreat to another room . . . .let him come out when he is ready.

[Ginny Nightingale]

Great advice--be patient! I got a doodle at the age of 8 months just about 4 years ago--she was never abused but didn't get out much and was afraid of men including my 17 year old son and my husband. They are both calm people, not too noisy either and they did exactly what is being suggested here and it worked--after a month or so, they were her best friends--she loves them very much now. There is still some fear when my son's friends come over, especially the very tall ones--but she is better each year. 

[Adrianne Matzkin]

Perfect advice!! I would just add that anytime you son walks by Oliver a treat should just fall from the sky! A treat that only your son has and it won't take long for Oliver to realize that your son is the treat G-d and just maybe isn't so scary. I would have Jordan be the only one to feed and walk Oliver whenever he is home. That will start to build their relationship.

My GrandDoodle, Mickey, is a rescue that we fostered before my daughter and SIL adopted. He is 'afraid' of all new people. He really wants to play but you are really scary to him. I don't know if he was abused by any person but he very little human contact until he was almost 5 months old (he was from a Puppy Mill to an awful shelter before me).  Since he trusts us he allows me to "hold" him with by rubbing his ears and the new person can get closer so Mickey can smell a hand while he is relaxed and take a treat from that persons hand. It does help that we have Samantha and Charli and if they trust someone Mickey knows that aren't a bad person but he it takes time for him to get past his own issues. 

Please tell your son that it is not him, give Oliver time & be patient. 

[Jen and Annie]

poor Oliver, I can't imagine what he's been through.  :(   And I know this must be hard for your son too...

I agree with what is posted - have your son feed him, if Oliver will take the food from him - and your son should provide treats. Good smelly treats like cheese, freeze dried liver - things like that.  It may be necessary to build Oliver's confidence as well.  Have your son play fetch with him, but your son shouldn't chase Oliver - that could be too scary for him.  Your son could encourage Oliver to chase him - and realize that your son is a fun guy to be around.  If your son is able to put the time in with Oliver, he will grow to trust him.  I might suggest getting down on Olivers level to try and encourage play, but wrestling wouldn't be a good idea just yet.  I get down on all fours with my puppy and we hop around like idiots..

[Jen and Annie]

One other note - if you just got Oliver very recently, and he has been in 3 other homes prior to this - he may just still be unsteady about what is going on.  If he went from a bad home to the scary pound, and back again - he just might not know what to expect from his life anymore, or from your home, since he hasnt had much stability so far.  My puppy came from a breeder, but it was about 2 weeks before she really started coming around to me and my husband.  For the first few days we had her, she just hung out by herself in the corner, wasn't very affectionate although she was playful - she barely wagged her tail, and I thought I got a defective dog... But after a few weeks she was 'settled' into her new home and things got better..

[Ron Asker]

   thanks for the advice.  i will defiantly try the treat ideas.  i have a pack of bacon flavor treats that i can have him carry around.  just the smell of those things get oliver excited!!!!  I don't know why i didn't think of the eye contact or ignoring oliver idea before with him.  Thanks a lot!!!!  

[Leslie and Halas]

You've gotten some great advice here.  Patience and baby steps.  Good luck, and I look forward to reading a discussion in the future about Oliver and Jordan becoming very close.