My doodle's time was up. ;-(

[Mandy & Benny]

On Sunday night I lost my best friend, my Riley.  I was out of town for the weekend, Riley was staying with my parents while I was gone.  On Saturday he started throwing up and my dad noticed blood on his tail after he went to the bathroom.  They took him to the emergency vet and he was diagnosed with gastroenteritis.  They gave him flagyl, something for nausea, and a bolus of fluids.  The vet said if they wanted him to stay over night he could, but he believed Riley was okay to go home.  My parents took him back to their house.  I returned early Sunday afternoon to my little pal unable to stand or barely lift his head.  My usual greeting of a tail wag and a lick was nowhere to be seen.  The vet said he would be lethargic and probably wouldn't be eating or drinking much.  I got him to drink a little water while his head was laying on my lap.  He seemed to perk up a little, stood up, and walked upstairs to the main floor of the house.  I thought this was a good sign.  I lay next to him all afternoon, just petting him and giving him hugs.  He ate a few pieces of chicken and drank a little water.  I had to run out for a couple of hours but had no reason to think anything would happen while I was gone.  My parents were there and he was looking a little better.  After being gone for about an hour, they called to have me meet them at the emergency vet.  He had started bleeding from his behind quite a bit.  When they pulled into the lot I opened the back door of the car.  I saw his sweet face, his eyes open with little tears going down, and he wasn't breathing.  The vet rushed him inside but couldn't bring him back.  I was, and I'm still hysterical.  I can't forgive myself for leaving him when he needed me the most.  I'm just sick over it.  That dog was my child, the one I went home to.  Now I can't stand to be in my house.  He's everywhere there, except embraced in a hug from me.  Has anyone else had an experience like this where the dog was energetic, bouncing around, and healthy one day and then gone the next?  I asked the vet how this could have happened if they weren't terribly concerned the night before.  She said it could be anything- he could've gone into shock from the fluid and blood loss, his stomach could've twisted (he wasn't bloated though), or maybe he ate something that irritated his system, passed it, and then was sick from that.  In the xrays done the first night, there were no obstructions.  The vet only noticed excessive gas- and my dog was the greatest because he RARELY greeted us with a curious odor.  Besides a bit of inflammation, that was the only out of the ordinary thing they found.  I keep trying to put the pieces together, what I should have done differently, how I could have prevented this.  Any wise words you can share? 

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

 I have no advice, but just wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I'm so terribly sorry for your loss.

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

No advice here just wanted to send my condolences. I am so sorry for your loss, it is unimaginable to me to have them one minute and not the next. I am sure Riley knew you loved him.

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

I am so saddened and sorry for your loss. Riley knew you loved him his whole life and even in his final moments, don't beat yourself up.

[Bonnie and Kona]

Please be kind to yourself. You loved Riley and cared for him well. I'm so very sorry you have lost your dear doodle-boy.

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

I am so very, very sorry for your loss.  My prayers are with you.

[Jill, Woody & Maxi]

I am so sorry to hear this. I dont know what else to say, but stay strong..

[Judy, Meg & Polly Wolly Doodle]

(((Mandy))), I am so sorry to hear this.  Thoughts and healing prayers for you.

[Leslie and Halas]

Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss.  He knows that you loved him.  RIP, Riley.

[Jen and Annie]

This is so sad to read - please do not beat yourself up over it, Riley would not want that. He knew that you loved him dearly. There is no easy way to go through the loss of a pet. I'm very sorry for your loss...

[Elizabeth, Bailey & Bruin]

I am so so sorry this happened to you.  You were a good doodle mommy to Riley.  He knew you loved him.  Sending you warm hugs and prayers.

[Colleen, Jake & Baxter]

Mandy....I am so, so sorry for the loss of your beloved Riley.  I feel that losing a pet is one of the worst things in life to have to experience yet anyone who has loved and owned a pet has gone through it.  I can only imagine the grief you are experiencing and the "what if's".....My prayer is that you can let that go and take the advice of Bonnie below to be kind to yourself.  I have also experienced the sudden loss of a beloved pet and I beat myself up about it for a long time about what I could and/or should have done.........and that was not good.  I know that you loved and took good care of Riley.  Hopefully you have some good pet loving friends that you can talk to.....I know that is helpful for me.

I also have a dear friend that lost her doodle tragically just 3 weeks ago.