New puppy mom syndrome, or just a Doodle snob?

[Karen & Maple]

So, new puppy (born last week) comes home end of December (excited would be an understatement). Friends and family also very excited.
In fact, my sister in law who lives half way between us and the breeder (about 4 hrs north of Boston), made the suggestion that they join us for the pick up so that they 'can all takes turns holding the puppy!'
So I'm thinking 'ahh, no way', but don't no if I'm being unbalanced, and didn't say much of anything except 'maybe'. I've played out this happy day in my mind: my husband and I finally get the dog of our dreams, puppy is SAFELY in his/her crate. We keep it relaxed as we bond and listen to Caesar on audio. But imagining five of us (including their 10 yr old hyper son) crammed in with my new baby floating around all these strangers, out of the crate- makes me feel anxious. I think I have say no, but don't know how.
My other sis in law insisting that she give us a 'puppy shower when get home so that they can "play with it and dress it up and give it treats!" Once again, thanks but no thanks? I wanted to spend about a week just us, bonding, training and getting comfortable. Even then, is this a good idea? And they have a dog. In fact, most of our family and friends have dogs. What about exposure to them? Help.

[Becka]

I think it's perfectly understandable (and practical!) that you'd want some alone/bonding time with your pup. You are not being a snob at all. Figure out a routine with your pup and then allow people to visit in groups of one or two. This is a big adjustment time for your puppy, and if you are anxious, he will be more so. I would not have welcomed a group of people playing with/dressing up/treating my puppy before I figured out how we were going to learn to live together. Follow your instincts--I think they are leading you in the right direction. And congratulations on your new family member!

[Karen & Maple]

Thanks Becca. I think I have to find a polite way of explaining that we just can't, while reassuring them we appreciate their support. Besides I don't think the breeder would appreciate all the visitors around the new puppies. Maybe I'll use that too. I think one issue is that they have, and have had many dogs, but have taken a totally different approach than I would have with all their animals.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Stick to your guns. You are not being a snob, you are protecting your new baby's health and welfare, which is your responsibility as his new mom. In addition to exposure to germs from other dogs, he is facing a HUGE adjustment; he is leaving his mother and littermates, and the only home he has ever known, and going to an unfamiliar place where nothing and nobody is familiar. He needs a little time to adjust to his new surroundings and get to know his new pack members and the new routine. Chaos is not a good introduction to a new life. 

And as far as treats go, you must absolutely not change his diet or introduce new foods for at least two weeks after he comes home. Ask the sister-in-law who wants to throw a shower to wait a month. 

I forbade my own sister from coming to my home with her kids the day I brought my last puppy home. She brought them anyway. My 80 lb niece stepped on the pup's tiny paw with her full weight (this was a mini poodle!) as she came in from the yard. An emergency vet visit was not the way I wanted my new puppy's first day to go. 

Be firm, put on your big girl panties, and say no to all of it. That's your baby, and her welfare has to come first. You're going to have to be looking out for her for the next 12-16 years, starting that very first day.  If these friends and family care about you, they'll respect your feelings. 

[Karen & Maple]

YES MA'AM!! Big girl panties are ON ! Thanks :)

[Lori, Quincy & Frankie]

bahhahaha- love it BIG GIRL PANTIES!  Karen is spot on!  

[F, Calla & Luca]

Amen!

[Cheryl and Finnegan]

Yay Karen!!!

[Ginny Nightingale]

I totally agree--no kids, no dogs, no sister-in-law until the pup has had time to bond and adjust to your home--that way, it the excitement gets to be too much, you will be able to read the pup's body language and the pup will feel that you are providing a safe place for him or her if the pup gets anxious.

The first few days and weeks are very difficult for everyone--lots of housebreaking, adjusting, puppy-proofing, etc, and you need to create the boundaries--sounds to me like your sister-in-law is approaching the pup almost as if it were a toy, which it most certainly is not. 

Hold your ground!

[Barbara B., Sasha & Oliver]

I would spend some time adjusting to your new puppy and letting your new puppy adjust to you, it works both ways.  Then after all the puppy shots I would have people over.  Only a few a a time at first, you don't want to frighten her/him.  Once they are adjusted and are use to other people and animals, then I would have a small group of people over.  See how she/he acts and if OK then I would move to a larger group of people.  I'm one for taking baby steps.. exposing them to little bits of "life" at a time.  You sound like you are going to be a wonderful Doodle Mom :)

[Emily, Jace, & Maggie Devers]

I think you have a great idea not overwhelming your puppy on the first day, I honestly did, kind of the same thing with Jace and maggie both. We got them both back home in Kentucky and my husband has 6 brothers and sisters and I have 2 a sister who's 23 and a brother who's 12, so we definitely take them both to my parents house on the first night with us. I gently explained both times to my in-laws that I'm sorry but I can't be bouncing a new puppy who's adjusting from house to house, child to child, etc. talk about nervous puppy, knowing both of mines personalities now they would have been frantic with all that commotion!

[Kris and Sawyer]

I would just say that everything you've read says that the best thing for the puppy is to keep everything calm and predictable for the first couple of weeks or so. Thank them for being so exited and plan something for when you have a routine established.

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

That many people in a car and a puppy out of his crate make ME nervous, let alone this poor little baby who hasn't a clue what is happening. I'm sure they all probably have good intentions and see no harm in it, and may have done the same with their new puppies (and those puppies did ok, they'll say).
But you can say you feel this would just be too overwhelming and unsafe for the new pup. There really isn't any more discussion needed. Good luck. The waiting is the worst!