Questions, pros and cons of doodle ownership

[Willow]

Greetings Doodlekisses members,
This is my first post here and I hope you seasoned doodle lovers have some thoughts on our doggie. I love our 16 month old female doodle.  However, at times she can be quite a handful and as a result causes rifts between my husband and myself.  She is very willful and often does not obey commands which we have been using since she was 9 weeks old.  This is the first problem- she does not consistently obey us.  I chalk it up to youth but my husband insists that she doesnt respect us and therefore only obeys as she sees fit.  She is also very independent.  My husband envisioned a dog that would lay at his feet while he worked, one that would snuggle and a dog that would show "affection" .  We get a tail wag about once a day and she can do with or with out hanging out with us.  I should mention that we are home 24/7 as we work out of the home.  Perhaps she is just used to us because in the park she gets overly excited to interact with other humans---she loves people and dogs.  We take her to the park up to 3 times per day to exercise and socialize with other dogs.  We consider ourselves loving and responsible dog owners and hope that some of these behaviors are indicative of puppyhood and not what we can come to expect for the next decade or more. 
Another notable behavior that we cannot seem to break is the stealing of socks, undies and other small cloth items.  We do our best to keep these items out of her reach but occasionally she will manage to retrieve something.  This week she vomitted a sock belonging to our 7 year old.  In the last few months she has vomited several items of barbie clothing at once, and 3 hair scrunchies at once.  Obviously this is very alarming to us and would not want it to be fatal.  Can we expect a lifetime of this goat-like behavior?? 
To her credit she is quite intelligent and I think her willfulness is attributed to being a puppy. She is so much fun in the park--retrieving and playing with other dogs- and people just adore her and she them.  It is those times that I have hope that we have a normal dog.  Any thoughts or suggestions??

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Hi, I am just curious as to whether or not this is your first dog? I have had four in my adult life and all are so different. Just like kids they come with their own personality. My two doodles are very different. Fudge sounds like your dog. She too is very independent. She will be two on Christmas Day. She often goes to a different room from where we are and is content to lay in there by herself. I have had two velcro dogs, so I like this independence. She loves for you to pet her, but she hardly ever initiates it. However, when you pull her to you, she loves the attention. If she is on the bed with us, she might lay up against your legs, but she has never been an in your face cuddler. She is almost always at the end of bed.

Vern will be one in January and he is a great big lug that jumps on the couch next to you when you are sitting there. He loves to cuddle and practically sits on top of you to get your attention. He wants to be right up by your face in bed and burrows into your shoulder. I love that about him. He is our sock stealer and I think will be for life. We just work hard to keep those things out of our reach. Our old 11 year old lab ate a sock too :) He has been so much easier to train, because he really wants to please us. Fudge is much more willful and more apt to try and do what she wants. But, for everything I love about Vern, I can find something I love about Fudge just as much. I do like her independence and when you get affection from her, I feel like I have really done something right. She is so much more confident than Vern and likes her naps :)

Your dog sounds perfectly normal to me. I just think her personality is what it is and you can't change that. You can keep doing everything you are doing...the exercise and the training and make her the best dog she can be. She sounds well socialized and maybe she is just used to your routine. Is there one thing she likes that you do with just her...play ball, etc. Playing a game with her can forge a good bond too. Maybe a walk with just you guys. I don't know what else to suggest. I just know no two doodles are alike. By the way, Boo Bear is adorable in your profile picture. Good luck!!

[Willow]

Thank you so much for your response. It is comforting to know that someone else has had similar experiences. My husband and I have both owned dogs in the past. I had two English bulldogs until a couple of years ago... who were content to sleep 24/7 =) so different from our doodle. My husband only one other dog during his childhood... small mixed breed to whom no other dog can hold a candle =).
I agree that her personality is what it is and there is no guarantee that another dog will produce desired results.
We will continue doing what we do but perhaps introduce some new activities. She is a very sweet and smart dog...loving in her own way. Thanks again!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

It is going to be hard if your husband had a beloved childhood pet, because no dog is going to be able to live up to that. Plus, I bet his parents might not have the same memories about how good the dog was during the first couple of years. My dad always talked about some Gumdrop cookies his mother made and we tried for ages to duplicate that recipe and never could. We finally just decided his memory of what it tasted like could never be topped. Your dog sounds wonderful and personally, I like the independent dog. It used to drive me nuts to have my lab follow me EVERY WHERE....I was constantly turning into her or tripping over her and if I got up to do anything, so did she. I think mixing up her activities will help and she will come to see you as the best person in the world to be with.

[Adina P]

She IS a normal dog.  Sweetness, friendliness, good at dog parks does not preclude sock stealing and disobeying commands.  These issues are separate things.
My opinion is 'willfullness' is more related to incomplete training or holes in training than ACTUAL willfullness.  What type and how much training has she had?  Classes?  Just you and her?  
Is she crated when unsupervised, or otherwise confined so she is physically unable to steal and eat stuff she should not? What type of chew toys are available to her?

[Natasha]

To add to Adina's questions - do you and your husband have the same training and discipline style?

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

My two cents:

1. Your doodle is VERY normal, sounds a lot like my Peri really just 6 months ago (who is over 1 1/2 now). Peri has recently started following us around everywhere, swatting us for pets, licking us, etc....we have wondered where this sweet doodle has come from???
2. You might consider doing some more obedience training. We always work on our training and DH (doodle husband) and I are on the same page about our commands, praises, etc.... We have been pretty diligent I would say and this has created a lovely bond between us and Peri. It only continues to solidify that bond as time goes on.
3. I had a 5 year old chihuahua before Peri came home. The lap dog - sleeping 24/7 on MY lap, never leaving me, protects me, etc... Doodles are the complete opposite of these dogs! And even though I was fully aware of what I was getting myself into (researched the breed and my inlaws have had one for years), I was still sad about Peri being "independent", "willful", "crazy", etc...... I sometimes wondered "oh when will she be my companion??" As she has aged and we have trained, her slight craziness/intellegence/independence are my favorite qualities about her - and she is becoming quite the lady and constant companion I had hoped for. Again, 180 degrees different from the chihuahua......but I love her just as much today as my 7 year old buddy Taquito! And husband is obsessed!

[Willow]

This is great news thank you so much!

[Maryann,Roo and Tigger]

Pooh Bear sounds just like my Tigger who is 30 months. Adolescence is a wonderful thing. The most obedient, well trained dog will "question" authority sometime in adolescence. Pooh Bear is testing the limits or asking "do I really have to?" Just like children some dogs test more and longer than others. Now is the time to spend 15 minutes twice a day to train her all over again. The good news is that it will go very fast and you will be able to expect longer down stays, longer recalls. I went back to class with both Tigger and Roo to motivate me to do the work. Tigger still has a terrible recall - sigh......, more work.

Tigger is also a stealer of things par excellence. He has only had the stitches out one week from eating a disposable razor. At my vet's suggestion I have switched from "drop it" which Tigger knows to crying out loudly "Oh No" ( gets Tigger's attention) and then scolding the sock roundly, looking never at Tigger, but at the sock and saying in my sternest voice, "Bad sock, bad sock," and shaking my finger at the sock. Never once have I said bad dog to Tigger (or Roo or anyone else) so in theory Tigger should not know what that means. However it is working rather well. I did set up the first two with the toilet paper and the sock enticingly placed. My vet told me that this is the method the dog training monks use.

Tigger who was the best cuddler until 8 months, now has no use for it and is just beginning to show signs of wanting to cuddle again. Roo, who had no use for cuddling until about 32 months is now a confirmed cuddler at 37 months. Roo had been such a non cuddler that it is suprised the heck out of us when out of the blue he began jumping in our lap and staying.

Roo and Tigger are full brothers about 8-9 months apart. They could not be more different. Roo was an excitable, distractable, rough and tumble puppy. He barked, stole, counter surfed, and generally was a bundle of distractable, exitable energy. It took years - just until this last summer really - to get him to walk reliably well on a leash. He was a handfull who got consistently, if slowly, better. Adolescense just meant more exercise and more exercise since he was still crazy, excitably,goofy. Tigger on the other hand was the "good" puppy. Never a better one and I have had quite a few. Until about nine or ten months then he turned into a "normal" puppy. He is now in an extended and sometimes annoying adolescense.

All is well for Pooh Bear's future. Get in that 15 minutes, twice a day of intentful training on a leash, try scolding the socks, and be assured you will have a lap full of Pooh Bear in the future if that is what you want.

Hang in there with me, at least Pooh Bear hasn't had to have surgery. I just scolded a baby rattle- it was to be part of a shower present, it's a little gooey now.......

[Willow]

After reading all of the responses here, my husband and I feel very reassured that we have a very normal puppy. Although we did months of research before deciding on a doodle there is only so much you can learn from a book....kind of like having a baby=). So sorry about Tiggers and the razor. That must have been devastating to go through. Tell me, what kind of symptoms did Tigger have before you realized something was wrong?

[Kaytlin and Cooper]

Cooper is very much like your dog - will cuddle but on HER terms. Will sleep on the bed sometimes, but always at the end then leaves as she gets too hot.

Cooper is 1 1/2 and is being disobedient - we have recently spent alot of time retraining her. She is better, but still doesnt want to "come" when she is playing - she thinks it means its time for the fun to end

Cooper will wander the house, and often lay down in another room to nap - especially on our days off. Dogs need alone time too!

[Willow]

Retraining is the key I think...we have relaxed a bit lately on it. Willow (boo bear is a nickname) also sleeps on the end of the bed until she gets too hot....

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Nancy, I completely agree with you. You say that she is willful and often does not obey commands. In my opinion that's a "slippery slope" with a dog. They need to be taught that refusing to obey a command is just not acceptable. If you don't follow through on your commands and insist that they obey they will believe that it is optional, and then I think the dog does lose respect and fails to see you as a leader. That said, you do need to be sure that they understand what you are asking them to do before you hold them accountable. This only happens through training and consistent reinforcement. I also feel that the training process itself strengthens the bond you have with your dog. I have a very strong willed 11 month old Doodle, and I hate to even think about what life would be like with him without the training we're doing. You've started the training which is great. I think your Doodle is very normal, and with a little more work she can be the dog you're hoping for. Good luck!