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In the long and continuing saga of conquering Stew's guarding, I'm really confused and unsure what type of training to use.

1) private trainer told me to desensitize Stew to me approaching with the dropping treats method, then slowly condition for me to reach and grab something. I've done that a lot, Stew seems to respond and I can walk right next to him, he'll drop what he has & if I distract him by making him eat a treat a little bit away from the item, I can reach and grab it. If he tries to get on the couch or does attention seeking behaviors, I'm to stop him and walk towards him, getting in his space until he backs off.

2) my aunt told me I need to assert myself as alpha. She told me to startle Stew (penny can, loud clap, loud slap of a piece of paper) if he won't get off the couch or give something up and make him get off or drop what he has, then make him come to me. She said that's better than an alpha roll and you aren't doing anything physically to the dog, but showing him that's unacceptable. My aunt is VERY concerned that Stew seems to be "alpha aggressive" and growls, snaps and has bitten me. She told me if I don't assert myself as alpha that maybe I shouldn't have Stew and he's not a good match for me, that I need to get over a fear of getting bitten and get a more docile dog.

My big question is, the trainer told me growling is good, in that it alerts you that your dog is uncomfortable. I need to let him know he doesn't need to feel anxious and desensitize him. My aunt said her dogs never growl at her and she is alpha. When you all say that you don't tolerate growling or your dogs know that you can take anything from them, HOW do you do that? I don't want to take anything from Stew by force, as I don't want to be bitten and don't want him to start freaking anytime I approach.

I KNOW Stew is great dog. He's housebroken, rings bells to go out, pee/poop on command, does fine in the crate (that's another discussion-my neighbor was apparently ONLY having a bad day and it's NOT an issue at all, so all that was for naught) not food aggressive, sits for almost everything, waits at doors/for food, obeys commands & tricks (right/left paw, down, sit, high five, sit pretty, bow, crawl). Pretty AWESOME for my first dog and I'm doing it by myself. I just need to get this guarding down.

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Jess, You can't be afraid of your dog.  Nobody here can tell you how serious Stew is about biting.  Have the trainer watch this and evaluate him.  Lots of dogs will do a little growl/snap in a very non-threatening way.  I think of it as teenagers talking back.  If it is a case like that, I'd call his bluff.  BUT we can't see Stew and can't really advise you.  Please discuss this with your trainer.

I so agree with this. 

I do too. But Luca bit me all the time when he was a puppy. Yet I was never afraid of him although on occasion the nips broke the skin. Then I became serious about time outs and learned more about managing him. But I was annoyed with him at times but never frightened.

Jess, there's a couple things I'm thinking about the above post - One is if you don't want him on the couch, you should stop him before he jumps up - anticipate it and when he goes to jump, say a firm "no" and then maybe have him "lay down" and when he does treat him.  After you have this down pat, you can start letting him on the couch only when invited but that might take a while. If you want a cuddle time, have a dog bed on the floor and lay on it with him.  The couch should be off limits until he knows that it is by invitation only. Number two is I wouldn't play fetch with him if you're afraid to get the ball when he returns it.  There are a lot of other ways for him to play or get exercise until you have everything under control! 

I so admire your determination and I agree with everything else that has been said, even though I've never had a growler, it all makes sense.  Good luck and keep us posted. 

It's a good rule of thumb when playing fetch with any dog that you won't throw the ball for them unless they drop it. I never ever try to wrestle a ball away from a dog or take it from him in any other way, not because I'm afraid of getting bitten, but just because that's not the way the game is played, lol. It's fetch, not tug-of-war. 

If the dog wants you to throw the ball, he will give it to you. If not, why bother? 

And you shouldn't be going to get the ball, either. The dog is the one fetching, not you. JD drops the ball in my lap, then steps back and waits for me to throw it. 

I think it's important to remember that being a "leader" doesn't mean being a boss or a bully. It means being calm, confident, competent, and in control of all situations involving the dog. It's about letting the dog view you as his protector, and letting him know that you are fully capable of taking care of him, so he can relax. A dog who isn't sure who is in charge will often take it upon himself to step up and fill that role. 

When it comes to "guarding" behaviors, I think it's important to keep in mind that nothing belongs to the dog. It's all yours, and you control what the dog gets and when he gets it. All good things come from you, and "nothing in life is free". The hard part is learning how to convey that principle to the dog in a calm and confident manner, without threats or bullying. That's where a good trainer is invaluable.

I really agree with what Karen has said.  I really believe that "all growls are not equal" and when you get to know your dog really well, you'll know what's going on behind the growl.  My little guy only growls when he's playing with another dog who is not playing "nicely"...Guinness will growl and even air nip,,,,kind of saying "knock it off punk...who do you think you are"!  This works really well for him 99% of the time and the other dog will "move on"...I don't correct that growl.  I think it's a perfectly natural way of communicating...and effective for him.  Murph on the other hand, had lots of "triggers" that resulted in growling.  As a teenager he decided to try out growling at DH whenever he did something that displeased Murph.  As a result he lost lots of "privileges" that he has never regained.  He used to be able to cuddle with me on the bed until DH came to bed....but once he started growling and even one little "bite attempt" because he didn't want to get off he was never allowed back on the bed.  He couldn't handle that and I didn't want to set him up.  He is never allowed on any furniture....he's a pushy guy who has trouble with boundaries so that just doesn't work.  If DH isn't home I can have him up with me with no worries and he will get on and off the bed in these situations with no problems.  DH is not consistent in managing Murph and so if there are going to be issues with growling it will be with him.  I always know what's driving a growl from him now....and I always correct it but the WAY I correct it is different depending on the context.  The reason I correct is because I'm not usually concerned about the growl itself....but about the state of mind driving it.  I'm telling him I disagree with the state of mind whether it results in a growl or not.  Sometimes with Murph it's a growl, sometimes it's a straight tail and stiff body, sometimes it's a certain type of bark, sometimes it's a low to the ground slinky stalking position.....all of these are reflective of a state of mind that I need to snap him out of or there will be a problem.   I watch for his state of mind....I praise and reward calmness around distractions that I know are difficult for him and I correct and divert when he's not coping appropriately.  I don't correct with collar jerks or alpha rolls....I verbally tell him "no" in a calm but really firm voice and then I move his attention to something else.  If I don't see a change in mindset quickly I physically more him away (just take hold of his flat collar)  and put him in a down/stay until he returns to a calm state of mind.  When he's calmed himself down he gets affection and we just move on.  Murph is a reactive guy who has come really far using this method.  He now knows that I'm clearly "in charge" and he will not test me.  So work with your trainer, design a plan, implement it consistently and try your best to stay calm and in control.  Good luck.

I agree all growls are not equal. Riley will low growl at a "possible intruder" (which may be a bird outside or a shadow) but has a somewhat different growl when we are playing. Then there was the growl one time where I was trying to make her drop something and thought I should get eye to eye to make sure she knows I mean business. Not my smartest move as eye to eye with a dog can be confrontational. Learned my lesson there.

I totally agree with both Karen and Jane! 

I also recommend sticking with your trainer, positive training is more psychologically sound and fun. It might take a little longer, but Stew will be happier and more confident. I'm a huge fan of Ian Dunbar and positive training--we actually took Oliver to his training workshop a month ago. Oliver was trained without alpha dominance stuff, using only positive training and he is very kind, playful, and confident.

As I mentioned we really like Ian Dunbar. His advice is free on his website Dog Star Daily. I looked up what his thoughts were with growling and training. It's very interesting, and the exercise that he describes seems like something that may help you with Stew.

Before your puppy is ten weeks old, you should also repeat the following confidence-building exercise many times. Even with a ten-week-old puppy, I would advise having an assistant for these exercises. Tie a length of stout string to one end of a meaty bone. Should the pup growl, have your assistant yank on the string to pull the bone away, and quickly cover it with a plastic garbage bucket. The plastic bucket may also be used to cover the pup's food bowl should the pup act up during food bowl exercises.

Don't waste time reprimanding the pup for growling. Instead, make sure to praise and reward your puppy as soon as she stops growling. Additionally, you must make sure that a growling puppy immediately loses her bone or food bowl. Many puppies will initially growl when food is removed. These are not bad dogs; they are normal dogs. Growling is quite natural. However, your puppy must learn that growling doesn't work so that this behavior does not escalate and continue into adolescence. As your puppy develops confidence, she will learn that there is no reason to growl because you have no intention of stealing her food. When the puppy stops growling, praise her, back up, and have her sit and lie down, give her back the object, and then repeat the procedure.

Jess - I certainly don't have any better suggestions to add to the wonderful advice you have already gotten, but I am sad to think you are afraid of, or afraid of becoming scared of Stew.  You are working so hard - just be patient and work with the trainer.  I would certainly stop playing fetch with him until he understands the concept.  I know that I stop playing fetch with Libby when she decides I should go get the  ball or toy, and there's no growling involved.  And if he has to lose his couch privileges, so be it.  Like I said, others have given you the practical advice - I just wanted to be supportive!!!!!

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