still dealing with separation anxiety - help

[Rebecca bratter]

I've posted before about my aussiedoodle madiba's separation anxiety, I thought it would ease up as she gets out into the world, spends some time at doggy day care and we even left her with a full time sitter for a week but it's worse.  Madiba is a velcro dog and follow us everywhere in our apartment, almost gets into the shower with me.  My husband is home with her all day and I go to work in the morning.  She's so smart that she now has our routine down and she doesn't like it.  As soon as I go to my closet to get dressed she starts to watch me like a hawk.  When I walk out into the living room she sticks her little nose right next to my leg and is right on top of me.  When I grab my purse, she shoots over to the door with this look like, you guys aren't leaving me here.  Usually we leave her for an hour or so and my husband drops me off and comes home.  Once she knows I'm leaving she starts whining.  

If she gets to come with us she is the happiest girl in the world, but everytime she sees us getting ready to go out she starts to get really nervous and will not let us out of her sight and blocks the door, even on the  weekends when we are going out with her.  

This all breaks my heart so please don't tell me it's my fault, I've never done anything to encourage it or cultivate it, but we haven't stopped it because we never knew it would get this bad.  We have to stop this routine.  I'm thinking of taking her out for a run before I leave to tire her or taking her with us and taking her to doggie day care for a few hours.  She doesn't want to be left at home.  

Some constructive ideas, thoughts, suggestions please.  We all love our doodles and I am totally in love with mine.  Everyone keeps telling me this is my fault but I want to fix this so she can not be in so much distress.  Does anyone else have this problem? How did you deal?  Do I just ignore her?

[Rebecca bratter]

Yes I do some but not all. Crating is a non starter for my girl. We only crate her at night. She will almost eat her own leg off if I crate her. I like your other suggestions and am going to try them. Thanks so much

[Sally S Miles]

Excllent break down.  Often crate training involves training your own jaw not to lock in the grit teeth position...  Two minutes at a time can be expanded.  I took a bath every morning with a whining pup in the next room - after a while she figured out that I was really coming back.

Feed her in her crate.  Once we had a dog who had to be crated for meals,  she hated the thing - but eventually she loved the crate.   Put crate in room with you while putzing around.  This works best with little ones, but I am such an advocate of crate training that I would do it with her now.  

Yes - you can teach your dog many things by doing them in very small increments, frequently.

[Pat and Traveler]

I'd just ignore her completely when you come and go.  It's no big deal--that's the message you want to give her.  When you're home, go in and out, even just for a couple of minutes.  Don't look at her or talk to her.  No "oh sweetie, I missed you too!"    LOL  If she's in front of the door, just move her out of the way.  Don't talk to her or make eye contact.

Oh, just do what BG says.  (Just read her comment.  :)

[Ginny Nightingale]

My friend and neighbor has a goldendoodle that would get so upset when they left that she would try to chew through the door or wall to get out and follow them--they ended up either leaving someone home with her or taking them with her where ever they went! (She goes to work every day with the hubby) Once, in desperation, they left her tied up with the back door open so she could go in and out and i heard her barking for over an hour. I went to their house and got her and brought her home until they returned and she paced and looked out the window the entire time--VERY attached to the mom. 

So, about 4 months ago, their daughter got a french bulldog pup and they watch the puppy all the time--the GD loves the pup and they play together very well and....the anxiety when left alone is gone!

My third doodle is also very unhappy when I leave, but he has his momma doodle and his "auntie" doodle here and I think that helps a lot. 

[Rebecca bratter]

Ok, I'm leaning towards getting another doodle.  Madiba just seems to be getting more and more attached to me and I have to admit, I love it but I don't like not being able to leave her.  My husband and I like to go out a lot and when the weather changes we won't be able to take her to dinner with us anymore.  Today we put her in doggy day care just to get her back in a rhythm of being more independent and boy did she not want to go. she's there now, I'm watching her on the doggy cam and she's playing and having fun.  I think we are going to get an older doodle.  I really want another aussiedoodle so if anyone knows of a breeder with older aussie's please let me know.