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In a press release today, the National Institute of Health has announced the discovery of a potentially dangerous substance in the hair of dogs. This substance, called "amobacter caninii" has been linked with the following symptoms in females: Reluctance to cook, clean or do housework, a reluctance to wear make-up, good clothes or high heels heels. Reluctance to spend money on home or car repairs until after 'Baby' has new collars, leashes, beds, treats, food, blankets or toys.

"Amobacter caninii" usually results in long hours away from home and exhaustion which may lead to a loss of physical contact with other humans (especially husbands and boyfriends). "Amobacter caninii" is thought to be addictive, driving the need for additional sources - this may lead to a "pack mentality" or like the potato chip commercial, "you can't have just one". Beware! If you come in contact with a female human infected by this substance, be prepared to talk about dogs for hours. Additional symptom is a lack of motivation to seek a cure. Full recovery is rare and if cured, serious side-effects may result.

Surgeon General's Warning: Dogs are expensive, addictive, and may impair the ability to use common sense.

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OMG....so this is what I have. I have all these symptoms, and have now become a true dog "shopaholic". I'm always in the market for new "puppy stuff". I had to set up a new bookmark folder for puppy shopping sites. That "cooking symptom" really fits...I find myself planning the menus around what Guinness can eat. We've had chicken five nights this week. No 12 step programs for me....I don't want to be cured!
LOL! I've FINALLY been diagnosed!!
LOVE this!!! Absolutely hysterical, thanks so much for sharing it with us!!! ;-) xo Crystal and Doodles xo
I thought I was sick. Now I know.
Some additional warning signs that you may be infected with "amobacter caninii":

You make do with that old handbag so you can spend the money on imported, lemon-scented poop bags.
You give the dog last night's leftover roast beef while you eat canned soup.
All of the clerks in every pet boutique within a ten mile radius of your home call you by your first name.
You wake up with cramps from sleeping with your legs in odd positions because the dog was sleeping horizontally across your side of the bed.
Oh gawd, the lemon-scented poop bag. I'll just put this here. A few weeks ago after shopping at Sam's Club, I adopted an empty lemon box to pack the groceries into. Inside the box were extra bags for lemons. 6 lemon scented bags! Lucky me. On our next walk I put these great smelling bags to use not realizing the MESH on one side EWWW. My fingers came up brown.

Do without and buy the bags--don't try to skimp on the purchase of bags.

And Karen, my shoulder hurts today from the way I slept. Actually, I got up at 2am and went out to the couch. Don't want to disturb the dog. He needed his rest.
And here I thought I was the only Doodle fool! I am in GREAT company! Samantha decided to sleep on the bottom 1/2 of my side of the bed and I curled up to the size of a toddler to accomodate Samantha's sleeping position. Sometime during the night I got up, DH couldn't sleep so he was downstairs - when I got back into bed I finally moved and slept horizontally across the top bed so I did not disturb Samantha's sound sleep!

At least now I know there is medical diagnosis for this lack of sleep I am getting!! I am thrilled there is no known cure!
We can start an "A.C. Support Group!!!!!
*Phew* I was ready to NOT read this for fear I'd have some other reason to be afraid of my dogs touching my baby...LOL.
At least the baby won't have any of its own money to spend yet.
Boy do I suffer from AC!
Love it!
My pup spent the ENTIRE NIGHT going from my husbands pillow to my pillow & back again - every 15 minutes!!! Ididn't really think we'd let him on the bed...but there he was keeping ME awake ALL NIGHT while my husband slept like a rock!
Hi Lori! Isn't it funny how we let our dogs do things we NEVER ever thought we'd allow?! Just now I had her laying down on my bed while I sorted out clean laundry. She really should be outside romping around in the wet leaves and getting all muddy, but then she wouldn't be allowed up on the furniture! (did I just say that?! ) - LOL

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