Visiting My Parents, They Don't Like Dogs...

[Camilla and Darwin]

I have a problem. My parents have never been big animal fans, but inside dogs are a BIG no no at there house. We live fairly close (about an hour away) and sometimes when we go, they want us to stay for a long time, even overnight.

Darwin is an indoor dog, and they know that. They always make suggestions like "Why don't you tie him up in the backyard (because it's not fenced in) or "Can't you just put him in the garage?" (It's basically a chemical and tool death-trap for dogs) I always make sure he is clean, and he has great house manners but I don't want to push them. Recently, I asked them if he could come be in the house, but only in the kitchen area, on a leash tied to the doorknob. They allowed it, but were hesitant and my dad made comments about building a heated doghouse outside.

I would love it if they would accept letting him be in the house, of course near me so I can watch him. I don't want to cause problems... but it is a really big hassle to have to put him in doggy daycare or board him every time we stay for longer than six hours. I don't want to just tie him up in the backyard, especially when it is muddy and snowy outside. Also, my parents live in a rural neighborhood where there are a TON of unleashed, wandering dogs which may or may not be vaccinated and friendly. I don't feel it's safe for him to be back there for long periods of time, without the yard being fenced in.

Any advice? Should I just keep boarding him, or should I try and get them to accept him being in the house? How should I approach this?

[Diane Denney]

My Dad was kind of that way. Bad for me as I brought home every stray animal I found!!! lol

He believed animals belonged outside, but we ended up with a dog named Max, and he ended up loving that dog alot!!

I definitely wouldn't leave him outside in extreme temperatures or bad weather, and definitely the garage is no place for a dog if it has chemicals and things lying around. Would they let you bring a crate for him?

I have relatives that won't visit me at all because I have cats, and dogs, and it used to bother me alot, but not anymore.

If it were me I'd have a crate to set up for visits or I would visit for a shorter period and leave my pup at home safe in his crate. Make sure that you have a friend or neighbor who could get in in case of emergency.

Not much gets between me and my animals!!

[Adina P]

I have relatives who will never visit me either for the same reason. My aunt (who is an otherwise very sweet woman) is deathly afraid of dogs (and cats!) and has somehow taught her daughters to be the same (*rolls eyes*). She wanted to come stay with me and help with the baby in a few months. I reminded her "um .. you do remember I have THREE dogs don't you?" Ooops she forgot (cuz people who dont like dogs don't ever think other people have them....they forget). So she'll NEVER come here, sadly. But I can't keep my pooches locked up all day for her. Sad for her two daughters who freak out if they see a dog or cat :-(

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I won't lock up a dog for an hour. When I was married, we had friends whose child was deathly afraid of dogs. (Of course, this child was afraid of everything. He once became hysterical because a leaf fell off a tree and landed on his head. I personally think a lot of it was an attention-seeking device.)
We invited them for a big barbeque, and they wanted me to lock the dog up. (20 lb poodle). I refused. They stayed in the yard the whole day and the child screamed every time he got a glimnpse of the dog as she walked past the window.
I have no tolerance for that kind of thing. When my sister was afraid of dogs after seeing my other sister get bitten, that's when my parents went right out and bought our first dog. Kids who are afraid of dogs are the first ones to get bitten; they behave strangely around dogs, and some dogs (Dobermans come to mind) use fear to their advantage.

[Adina P]

I don't "lock them up" exactly, but they do stay behind a baby gate when I have certain company over. We have indulged their begging habits and they can be a PITA to people not used to dogs. I don't have a problem with it. Once they have calmed down and/or we are done with dinner they come out and hang out with us. Cass is easy. Rosco is trained and will respond to stays. Thule isn't there yet and she's not shy, she licks like a maniac and frankly if someone else's human kid was as friendly as she is I'd freak out a bit too =)

[F, Calla & Luca]

Gee, Adina. Even my rambunctious two don't really beg. I imagined your dogs like the pictures of the monks at New Skete, on a down stay, snoozing near the table as you ate.

[F, Calla & Luca]

I have cousins who are like this with cats. They have had dogs.The mom, who is like a sister to me, rarely comes here now because of the dogs and they certainly don't go to her house. Her dog, many years ago, lived almost entirely in the garage. Very sad. But things improve with ensuing generations. Her daughter's dog was allowed in the kitchen, and some family ares but not in the living room , den or upstairs. they don't really get me. So my sheets have paw prints at times. Very decorative I think.

[Adina P]

Yeah it's PATHETIC the way my dog-cat-scared aunt is. My mom has a Borzoi--who is big but pretty much a very chill dog (not in your face or annoying AT ALL EVER) and an elderly Keeshond (who also ignores most people). YET...she freaks out if she even sees them or my mom's cat --- "eeeek get that thing away from me!" She'll yell at them in Romanian to leave her alone. She keeps telling my mom "why don't you just take them to the pound?" It's sad but cracks me up because it's so ridiculous. She's missing out, but worse than missing out...she's created this horrible phobia for herself and her daughters. I don't think her son is afraid of them at all. My cousin once saw a dog in a bookstore and ran out!

[Laura and Bailey Brindi and coco]

My mom dose'nt want my doodles at her house ; and she lives out in the country, she can't under stand that they sleep with us.and that they stay in the house laura Bailey Brandy

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

Karen, I sure wished I lived in your neighborhood growing up, cuz where I was raised, if you had a dog, it stayed outside in it's dog house, or tied up to a post, until winter, when it was moved inside to the cellar. It got table scraps and it's sole purpose was to play chase with the kids and be a guard dog for robbers. There was no training, no domesticating, no vet bills., no grooming, no socialization.....But that was another world and over 50 yrs ago. So yes, it is a very antiquated ideal, however, one that some of our parents were raised with and find it hard to change as they get older.
My parents "tolerate" Murphy for very short periods, but they are super viligiant and uncomfortable when he is there, even if he is just sniffing or laying on the floor.
Why would I make them uncomfortable in thier own home? Talk to them? Sure I have. Show them that he doesn't shed? Yup. Wipe his paws before coming in? You bet ya. They only say "Dogs belong outside". They don't even know why they don't like it. They agree he is cute, well behaved, doesn't smell, has good manners, quiet, but all this doesn't change thier reality of dogs not belonging inside. They are 75 and 81. Am I gonna change them now?

And I won't even go into my issues with my inlaws. They are in thier late 80's. same thing. Wish it were different, but it's not and I just make arrangements accordingly.

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[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

But I don't think it's an issue of age; as I said, my mom had a dog growing up, and that was in the 30s. My grandmother was born in 1895, and she was fine with a dog in the house. And these were very germaphobic people, with houses so antiseptically clean you could do open-heart surgery in them. When my daughter was an infant, they made my husband put on a hospital gown before he could hold her, in his own home! My dad was an OB/Gyne, he wouldn't have tolerated a filthy house. We had white carpets, and a dog in the house.
I agree that you probably can't change the mindset of an older person who has these ideas about dogs, but I just don't believe it has to do with their age. And people have every right to not have a dog. It's when they do have a dog and also have these attitudes that it upsets me. "Outside dog" is a very sore subject in rescue circles.

[Karen & Lucy]

WELL, here goes............... I am a dog lover and that means Lucy is a part of me, period. That goes for my DH as well. He is not a dog lover and does not want one in the house. I will not go into all of the reasons he feels that way because they are many and most of them have already been discussed in previous postings in this discussion. We have been married 44 years and all of those, except for 12 years, I have had a dog, in the house. It has not been pleasant by any means. I longed for a puppy when I got Lucy (empty nest syndrome) and was determined I was getting one. AND he knew nothing about it. One of his BIG problems with an indoor dog was the shedding. SO, I researched for many many months until I decided to get a doodle. Lucy is a min. shedder so I still have some problems with him, BUT he now loves her and she is like his shadow. BEST BUDS !!!! She sleeps with us now sometimes right up against him, she lays her head on his lap etc. They have really bonded.

I feel bad you are having these problems, but I would simply put it to your parents that if they want you over for the holidays that Darwin will be coming with you, you will not be tying him out or putting him in the garage And if they are not agreeable with that then you will just be coming for an amount of time (to be determined) and then going home as you can not leave him longer. Other than that the only way I would not take him and leave him at home would be to have a relative come and stay with him. I have wonderful grandkids that will do this for me as a last resort, I pay them a little bit for doing it. We are able to relax while we are away and Lucy is content in her own home.
That is just how I am any more with Lucy,and my family knows it.
Good luck in your situation and I hope it works out.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Karen, you are my hero! And your hubby ain't bad either.