Visiting My Parents, They Don't Like Dogs...

[Camilla and Darwin]

I have a problem. My parents have never been big animal fans, but inside dogs are a BIG no no at there house. We live fairly close (about an hour away) and sometimes when we go, they want us to stay for a long time, even overnight.

Darwin is an indoor dog, and they know that. They always make suggestions like "Why don't you tie him up in the backyard (because it's not fenced in) or "Can't you just put him in the garage?" (It's basically a chemical and tool death-trap for dogs) I always make sure he is clean, and he has great house manners but I don't want to push them. Recently, I asked them if he could come be in the house, but only in the kitchen area, on a leash tied to the doorknob. They allowed it, but were hesitant and my dad made comments about building a heated doghouse outside.

I would love it if they would accept letting him be in the house, of course near me so I can watch him. I don't want to cause problems... but it is a really big hassle to have to put him in doggy daycare or board him every time we stay for longer than six hours. I don't want to just tie him up in the backyard, especially when it is muddy and snowy outside. Also, my parents live in a rural neighborhood where there are a TON of unleashed, wandering dogs which may or may not be vaccinated and friendly. I don't feel it's safe for him to be back there for long periods of time, without the yard being fenced in.

Any advice? Should I just keep boarding him, or should I try and get them to accept him being in the house? How should I approach this?

[Karen & Lucy]

He's coming around Karen. He makes me soooooo frustrated and still, at times, he will make remarks in front of my grandkids or other family members that just irritate me to no end. He doesn't act that way towards Lucy when no one is around, I think it is just a way he thinks he is letting people think that he is boss or something. I don't know, but I get really mad at him. AND it has nothing to do with "being the boss", it is loving Lucy and treating her how she deserves to be treated. He will tell me later, "Oh, I was just kidding", yay, right >:-( He is getting better though. Lucy does have him wrapped around her little paw LOL LOL and he would never let anything happen to her. He does love her and I know that !

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

Karen ..... I find your situation interesting as my mother is a dog (pet) lover. She wants a little inside dog so badly but my dad just does not think that dogs belong in the house. They had a toy poodle for many years when we were growing up, but since she passed my mom has said as much as she would like one, it just isn't worth putting up with my dads attitude towards inside dogs (they live on a farm and have an outside farm dog). My dad has started letting this dog inside for a while in the evenings. Don't get me wrong this is not an ignored outside dog. It spends all day with my dad outside in the fields, has toys and treats and my dad cooks it breakfast every morning etc. Spoiled rotten ..... but his mindset is dogs belong outside! She hasn't been able to change that in over 50 years, and I don't think it is going to happen. However, the first thing he does when I come over is look in the back seat for my girls and wants to know where they are if I didn't bring them. And he lets Wendy come inside to play with them when they come over.

[Karen & Lucy]

I was just miserable without a dog and was determined to get one and knew that if my DH loved me enough he would be OK with it. AND, it has taken some time and rough days to get over, but like I said Lucy is a part of OUR lives now and would not have it any other way. He likes to be macho, but he is really a pussy cat and I love him.
Now, I want a second doodle and he keeps saying, "One is enough", We'll see Teeheehee

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

I have to admit I will make arrangements to not bring my dog to my parents or In-laws because of the way they feel. I'm not going to change thier attitudes and it;s really easier not having him there because, just like a child, he's gonna for sure do just the thing I dread him doing at thier house. Too stressful and I don;t want him where he's not welcome anyway. I wasn;t a dog person before getting Murphy and I know how annoyed I was by having to be with others dogs feeling the way I did. I totally didn't GET IT and felt it rude of them to put these animals above our human needs or preferences.

I knew there would be situations where I could not bring him and for the most part, I'd rather not go there if it means boarding or caging or worse leaving my dog home alone for anyone. Another room at my own house or the yard for a few hours on a nice day is one thing, but that doesn;t always work out. Trying to swap time with another doodle owner nearby would be your best bet. You have your area and the area near your parents to look into. There are young people that come into the home 2-3 times a day and play with and feed them. Some will even spend the night. Have you looked into that? My daughter just boarded her 19 month old golden doodle at PetCo Hotel for 10 days. You have to pay extra for them to come out for group play time or they are in a crate all day. He stunk of piss really bad and even after several baths and was sick for a week afterward. Plus expensive. Find someone in your area to swap time or pet sit and let him stay home. That would be my best guess.

[F, Calla & Luca]

I absolutely agree about the anxiety of having a dog someplace you know they are not wanted. You wait for the first unexpected disaster.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

If your parents live only an hour away, why would you stay overnight at all? Why would you stay a week? Can't you just drive for your hour, stay a few hours and drive home?? Take the dog and keep him leashed or crated while you are there or leave him home with the teenager to check on him. No, you probably can't change their minds as to indoor vs outdoor animals, but you did say your parents and not your in-laws - which is a whole 'nuther ball game. You can be respectful but take your stand with how long you stay - 6 hours including travel time or they let him come and be right by you.

Karen, I have neighbors who have always had a dog - outside only, and a cat - inside only! I don't get it at all but I have known them for 25 years and this is the way it has always been.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

That totally makes no sense at all! If I was going to put one of them out, it would be the cat, hands down! Talk about having hair all over...
I also think your solution is great, and makes a lot of sense!

[DeeDee and Sheila]

Gosh, don't your parents realize you would come to see them more often and more gladly if you were allowed to take your pets? Do they offer to pay any/all the fees you incur because of their inflexible attitude? (assuming your pets are well trained)Will they also consider your children nuisances? I, too, would respect their wishes and not take the pets, but I would sure lay some ground rules about who visits whom,when, and for how long. And I wouldn't feel guilty about it. You are not powerless in this situation.

[shelly]

I don't know about your dogs, but if I were to tie Tori outside or crate her with no one around, she would bark continuously. Nothing I would be able to do would stop her except us being with her. Perhaps one episode of this and your parents would change their minds. When my mother -in-law found out we were getting a puppy, she told my sister-in-law "I hope they don't think I'm going to take care of the dog when they're at work and school (which we didn't. Did I mention she and her husband have an apartment in our house?) Well.... NOW she LOVES tori - they BOTH do. She comes in every day to play with her, take her out, let's her IN HER HOUSE!!! and cooks her carrots for treats! My father- in-law actually went to the store to buy carrots b/c neither of us had any left in the house - JUST FOR THE DOG! And on weekends if she doesn't get to see Tori, she comes over for here "Tori-fix". Who would've thought.... Dogs have a way of getting into even the most distant and anti-dog hearts! Hopefully this visit will actually be a turn-around and realization to your parents! Good Luck!!!

[Camilla and Darwin]

Yeah, it sounds confusing but let me explain. For the specific Christmas situation. My parents set up a family trip from the 21st to the 23rd of December. Although it's a pet friendly hotel, we will all be sharing two hotel rooms (I have a large family, seven siblings) so it will be pretty crowded. We are also going to be doing a lot of stuff that is not dog friendly. Because of this, we decided we should board him.

The reason we are going to stay overnight Christmas, is because my family is big on family traditions and we do a big party Christmas eve, and then wake up before six a.m. Christmas to go open presents. I don't want to miss out on this as it is a tradition I love and want to be a part of. So it makes sense to stay the night so I can be part of the whole process. My husband's parents live right by my parents, so in addition to spending the first part of the day at my parents, we will spend the latter half at his. Because of this situation, it doesn't make sense to drive back and forth between our homes, it's easier to spend the night.

Anyways, I would love to leave Darwin with someone I trust, except for two things.
-I really want to spend Christmas with my family AND Darwin
-I don't know anyone closely who is comfortable with dogs (very ironic that I'm such a dog lover in the midst of so many haters) And I don't feel comfortable leaving Darwin with someone I don't know very well...

I think I will have an honest discussion with them about it. Thanks Karen, for your suggestions on how to word it. Hopefully we can both come to some sort of compromise.

Sorry for being so long winded... this is all sort of complex and confusing... :-)

[shelly]

Good Luck... I think they will come around!!! Wouldn't THAT be a nice Christmas gift?!

[Azure & Muppet]

Camilla, we might be able to help. I realize we've only met once, so I understand you may not feel comfortable leaving Darwin with someone you don't know very well, but let me know if you are interested (just send me a message if you'd like to discuss it). Darwin and Muppet sure hit it off when they played together at the park! Azure :-)