WANTED: BODYGUARD TO PUT MY BROTHER IN HIS PLACE!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Hi Everybody, Fudge here and I have a big problem. The big problem's name is Vern and he weighs 91 pounds. I am getting sick and tired of him pouncing on me every chance he gets.  When mom tells us to get in the van or dad's car, Vern always jumps in first and guards the doorway. 

My mom says, "Fudge, hurry up and get in the van," but, I know when I do Vern is going to tackle me. So, someone always has to come around to the door and make Vern move to let me in, but then they close the door and sure enough, Vern starts trying to wrestle with me. He is really getting on my nerves and I think he is a big turkey.

Lately, when we get let out into the yard to do our business, Vern pushes right out in front of me and then, you guessed it, he turns around and tries to swing me around by my collar.  Sure, he gets in trouble, but he never seems to care. Something has to be done soon.

When my human sister was home the other weekend, she tried to give me some hugs and cuddles and Vern tried to horn in on the action. I got mad and tried to scare him, but he thought I wanted to show our sister how we wrestle.

Well, today is the day I am going to do something about Vern and I hope someone can help me. Just ask yourself if you would like to see this running full speed at you.

Also, I know everyone thinks Vern is so cute, but he is double my size.

So, here is what I am looking for in the way of a bodyguard.

Bodyguard must be willing to live on the premises, escort me to the car, stop Vern from plowing into to me when my humans are trying to give me some hugs and kisses, and most of all stop this behavior:

Thank you for your help! Love, Fudge

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

Fudge - Rooney here - lets run away together!  My big brother Stuart abuses plays with me all of the time and acts just like Vern.  Stuart isn't as big as Vern but he weighs 70 lbs and I am only 22 lbs - I get pushed around all of the time!  If I kiss my mom, Stuart the attention hog butts right in and kisses her too and his tongue is way bigger than mine.  If I jump on the bed to snuggle with my mom Stuart climbs up (ha, ha cream dogs can't jump) and then he hogs the whole bed!  Then he shows off by being an Olympic swimmer and makes me look bad - sometimes I wish he would jump in and sink!  Now that he is bigger he can run as fast as me and sometimes he tackles me really hard.  He also takes evil delight in wrecking every toy that I have ever had and now all I get are industrial strength plastic toys - which he also destroys.  I'm sick of it!!  Let's make a stand - should we call the Humane Society and turn them in?  How about the dog warden?  I have tried everything - sometimes I even growl and snap at Stuart but the big moose thinks that my ferociousness is me playing.  I'm the oldest and I was here first so I think this makes me the BOSS of Stuart.  So here is what I've done in the past if I get really really mad.  Don't laugh because I'm kinda embarrassed to show you but this works - trust me I hate to use this method and at our dog park - I've seen girls use it too.

Try not to notice that Stuart appears to love like this, deep inside I know he must be afraid, very afraid.

[Janie, Jackson and Jilly]

lol Jane! 

Fudgiepop, this is Jack! Why don't you come to my home for a little vacation! We can play and go places and I have a lot of toys and a big backyard! Maybe Vern will miss you and when you go home, he will be much more polite to you! And if not, you can come back here! xoxo

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Jack, That is a great offer. I do need a vacation away from Vern.  Maybe I could stay with my mom and dad and Vern could come live with you. Love, Fudge

[Bonnie and Kona]

Oh Rooney the indignity of it all! Poor baby. 

[Deanna & Desi & Cori]

Jane, I mean Rooney - "Cream doodles can't jump"  HA HA HA 

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Oh, Jane.....thanks for the laugh :) Rooney looks like he is definitely putting Stuart in his place...LOL!! I cracked up at the sinking part. Vern is our swimmer, too. Fudge says to tell Rooney not to tell Rua, but she will definitely run away with him!!

[Traci -Bexter & Maggie]

OMD!  The picture of Rooney on Stuart is hysterical!

[Colleen, Jake & Baxter]

Fudge

Jake here......I am an only dog most of the time but sometimes we get doodles at my house on a temporary basis.  Most of the time it works out cause I have learned after a hard lesson with the first one how to put them in their place.  I would just like to comment on the last picture above.  There is a certain technique to it cause your brother is bigger but whenever he closes in on you just lift your leg and send it his way.....it usually works for me :)  I know you are a girl but I taught my girlfriend how to do it my way and she says it works every time.........

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Jake, That sounds very interesting. You might need to teach me. I like to be a lady, but sometimes Vern makes me crazy. Love, Fudge

[Donna K & Quincy]

Dear Fudge, I am sorry your brother is being such a boy, what you need is a macho dood to stand by your side and protect you. Sadly, I am not that dood so the best I could do is try to run inteference and distract Vern when he is pestering you. Vern, buddy, that is no way to treat a lady. Fudge don't give up hope, Vern is sure to grow up someday. Your pal, Quincy

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Quincy, Vern is two. When is he going to grow up and act right? I can't take much more. I might have to go whale watching with you some day and leave the giant pest home. Love, Fudge

[Donna K & Quincy]

That would be totally cool. Come around the middle of July and stay as long as you like. I find whale watching kind of boring, if I had you to keep me company it would be so much better. XO Quincy