Would you quit working to stay home with your doodles? UPDATE!!!

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

Okay, now I think I have gone over the edge. I am needing some serious therapy! In this economy, I am considering leaving a job so that I can be home with my doods.

Well, that's not the whole story. The job is beyond stressful, I have an hour drive in traffic to and from work everyday. Yes, 2 hours a day in traffic. It's a government job with so many responsibilties that I can't be away from it for more than a day without something needing attention. I have to travel around the state for 1-2 nights at a time and often. DH is retired and wants to go off for the summer and travel in our little toy hauler trailer, I have my only grandson (18 months)moving from Florida to be here in Az with son and DIL in March and they could use some grandma babysitting, and I have sorely neglected my own physical health due to this job. But having said all that, I think missing my doodles so much just puts the last straw on the poor camels back.

Could we afford it? Let's just say we wouldn't starve and the dogs would still get Fromm dog food.

SO what's a doodle mom to do? Any words of wisdom DK'ers?

UPDATE:

Well, with much consideration and re-reading all of your posts and talking to DH and mom and kids, I handed in my resignation yesterday. I will be leaving Feb 18th and it appears it will be considered "Mission Critical" by the Bureau and they will try to fill my position ASAP.  On top of that my son is bringing his family to Arizona a month earlier, which gives me just 3 weeks to get ready for them to move in for a few months and toddler proof my house.  I started the Adventure Bootcamp on Tues and now workout 4 mornings a week and a girlfriend invited me to join her stroller exercise club so I can take my grandson with me too!  I have quilts lined up in my head that I plan to do and some for DK as well !

So, I want to thank everyone for helping me to make a very important decision and I can't tell you how happy you have made Murphy, Bella, DH and ME!!!! Thank you again. You are all the best!

[Ginny Nightingale]

I DID!!! I retired last June despite having a son at an Ivy league school (we do get some financial aid) but my story was just like yours--too stressed, hubby retired, health suffering--I did it and I don't regret it one bit. Now I am home with my 2 dogs, (one has just had puppies that I am raising until 8 weeks of age) , I have started grooming doodles and will be paid by my breeder to raise other litters. So, I have gone from a stressful job to working with doodles--it's wonderful! I'd love to add grandchildren to the list--maybe in a few years?!

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

I have thought about you Ginny as I have been following your posts regarding grooming. I probably could groom 2 a week and be happy with that little cash and not have the stress of all this.!!  I know enough doodle parents through my doodle romps to start letting them know and I have an area of the house set up to do it. Or hubby needs a project, he can build me a bigger area!  Besides, we have finally gotten the very golden ticket necessary to hike the Grand Canyon, rim to rim in May, on our 39th wedding anniversary with our two children and spouses.  I need to retire just to get ready for that don't I?

[April Cliber]

After you went to bed last night I called Murphy and Bella and we had a heart to heart.  They want you to quit. They say they are willing to cut back to a new bone just every month and can go with a couple less new toys.  They love spending time with daddy but really want both of you home.  Aparently dad doesn't give belly rubs quite as good and walks with you are more fun. :o)  

 

In all seriousness you have an amazing job and I'm quite sure are wonderful at doing it.  But...like others said, life is too short!  I was once in a job that I felt pressured to keep because I felt I would let others down if I left.  I worked for an older lady that wanted to retire soon and she really wanted me to take over her small business.  I was completly torn.  I was the only employee that would have been able to do it but I didn't really want to do it and it would take me away from my family too much.  In the end I went with my gut feelings and left.  She was very disappointed to say the least but I know I made the right decision.  The very next year I started breeding doodles, found my passion and am my own boss.  I know breastfeeding is your passion and I don't want you to give it up but I'm sure there are other ways to continue helping women and babies.  Maybe volunteer for la leche league?  Like you said, you can continue working a couple days a week as a nurse. 

 

Best wishes with your big decision!  <3

 

 

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

April, this brought tears to my eyes as this is by far the longest email you have ever written to me!  No, that's not why, I just got to my emails this morning and the wonderful DK'ers responses have just touched my heart and I don't know why I didn't address this here sooner. I have been struggling with this for the past 2 months and even did tell them I was leaving in Dec. but the Bureau Chief and another Manager took me to lunch to see what they could do to make it better for me to stay and asked me to give them 3 months to make it better.

Well, fast forward one month and I'm still at the same place and it has nothing to do with them not trying to make it better, it's just the nature of the job and now family is calling louder and louder to me.

Murphy and Bella are SO happy when I am home and the fun we have doesn't compare to DH as we get to clean ears and clip nails and groom and brush teeth more!  They love it! 

Yes they would be happy with a new bone less often and the basket of toys will last us quite sometime as it is. We would have to be frugal again, but you know what, we have been frugal on a fire fighters salary for most of our lives, so nothing new there. And I do trust that the Lord has a plan for me to continue the work I do with mom's and babies as He led me down this path over 30 years ago and He has always provided another wonderful opportunity every time I have needed Him to, even before I even knew I needed it. So I am going to really pray and get peaceful and wait for the answer and I know it will come. Bob and I will talk some more, but he has always been behind me 100% so there really is no discussion.

As for you and what you do.....I want to be you in my next life!  A house full of love and kids and doodles!  I had all but the doodles. Hey, maybe we need another Cliberdoodle!!!! Got any to donate to a worthy cause? Love ya girl.

[April Cliber]

Oh come on!  I've sent you long emails before! :o)  OK, so maybe not many long emails....but I typically have a lot of them to write and do it in between house work, kid stuff and puppy stuff. 

 

You know.....we could open up an Arizona branch of Cliberdoodle. :o)  You can be a long distance guardian home!  Then I can just fly back and forth. How fun would that be!  You can assist my moms with breastfeeding! :)  

 

You are absolutely correct!   Gold will lead you ....and I will keep you in my prayers. ((((hugs)))))

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

Now you're thinking!!!! I offered with Bella to breed her. You and I could just drive back and forth. Bella is out of commission, but I'm sure you have others in mind. Bob Loves to take long trips so you never know...we might work something out. And yes you have emailed me long emails before, I just love teasing you!  But you'd have to know, I do encourage my mom;s to breastfeed for as long as the babies want to......take Bella for instance....girl after my own heart.

[Donna K & Quincy]

I sat down the other day with my calculator and figured out with my vacation time, stat holidays and overtime I have banked exactly how many shifts I have left to work. Do you think I may be ready to retire? Mar 31, 2012. Then I want to add another doodle to the family.

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

I used to chuckle at the older nurses that did that during my early nursing career and think why would anyone be looking so forward to wanting to stay home and be poor and do nothing.  Boy have I grown up !  Now I think "poor" is relative and the thought of a day having nothing to do would be heaven!!!

[F, Calla & Luca]

I just realized that I did quit working but not to stay home with my doodles. I had a 1/2 time job for 17 years that was very good in many ways for many of those years. But toward the end it got more and more stressful. It became a situation with a lot of resposibility but not enough authority. I was angry at work a lot of the time and I really could not stand that. I could retire from that job and get a pension that basically would pay for lunch. So I did it. My boss asked me what he could do to change things, told me what a good job I did, none of which he had ever said before! I left and continued my independent work, initially doing more of that than I had been. It is wonderful to be my own boss and make my own hours. It allowed me to get Luca and never be away for more than a couple of hours at a time when he was a puppy, or to take him with me. I'm still not certain when I will stop working entirely. But thank you for this discussion. It has given me a lot of food for thought.

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

This has be very good for me as well. I know enough about all of you who have responded to know your hearts are all in the right places and would give this some thought before posting "Just do it", Which I loved BTW. I think the money is the biggest factor, and the sense of pride I get with how much I can and always have contributed to the finances. But when is enough enough?

 If you asked me even 3 years ago if I had the choice between being there for my kids and grandkids or working myself to death with a high stressed, high responsiblity job what would I choose, I'd laugh at the obsurdity of the question. And now I am asking myself this very question! Wow, I just re-read that. I think I gotta go write a letter of resignation.  Thanks F.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

You're right...I wouldn't have posted "Just do it" without some thought, lol.

I watched my dad, who was an OB/Gyne, work himself to death at the age of 66. Certainly, his work could not have been more rewarding, but it was also very stressful and time consuming. Babies don't choose convenient hours to be born, as you may know. At that age, it was very wearing on him to never get a full night's sleep, and he could easily have retired and enjoyed a carefree, financially sound life with my mom and his grandhildren. As it was, he never had the chance to enjoy the fruits of all those years of hard work.

Then I watched my mom penny-pinch for 20 years, although there was never any question that she had more than enough to keep her living in comfort if she lived to be 110. But she was a worrier. She denied herself many things and many experiences because "the money might run out."  She had a little reason to worry, because both her parents lived well into their 90s- my grandfather was 97 when he died. But my mom, the baby of her family, got AML at the age of 77 and died at a younger age than any of her immediate relatives. (Her eldest sister is still going strong at 93). Guess what? The money never came close to running out.

But it might run out now, lol, because it's part of how I'm retired at 59. I'm not going to worry about it.

Life really is too short, and we never know how short it might be.

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

WE have heard that type of story so often and 66 is not that old anymore. I want to still be running 5k races at 66!  Oh, but who has time to run? Run to Work? doesn't count!  At 57 I am feeling more and more like Life is really too short. Still fear running out of money, but then my kids and grandkids will take me in right????