Dear Bambi and Friends, TAKE A HIKE!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I am going out this morning to buy supplies to board up my house.  I haven’t decided if I just need brown paper to cover the windows or if I need actual boards and large nails, but I do know I need to make it so two Doodles cannot look out of the foyer windows.  

Curtains could work, too, but would be far less dramatic. I also know I need plenty of Sharpies to write some scathing messages on the boards or paper: Keep out or else, Beware: Elmer Fudd Lives Here, The Buck Doesn’t Need to Stop Here, or Restraining Order in Place for All Deer.   Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t mind deer and I have always loved the movie Bambi, but Bambi lived in the forest and not in the cornfield next to my house.  

Those are the deer that are now on my most hated list.  Granted it is tough being a deer in Pennsylvania, especially during hunting season, and that is why I hoped they would wise up someday and move to a place where hunting is restricted.  I have a van and I would be more than happy to help with the relocation process. Heck, Fudge and Vern could even lend out some of their costumes, if disguises are warranted. 

Oops, maybe not a good idea:

Do Pennsylvania hunters hunt monkeys?

This one might work better:

I don’t hunt, but desperate times call for desperate measures and I am prepared to do just about anything for a good night’s sleep.

 

Here is my problem in a nutshell.  Hunting season is in full force and I think the deer are mad. 

During the day they have to stay out of sight or end up as venison stew.  Nighttime is the only time they have to come out and take care of business and I think the cornfield next to our house is the new meeting field for the survivors.  I don’t know if they are discussing the day’s events…services for our deerly departed friend, Buck, will be held tomorrow night at ten…Stag Party Friday Night…Deerly Beloved, We are gathered here today to join Rudolph and Vixen… did you see the recent episode of What Not to Wear? They said to stay away from orange and camouflage….the deer stands you see popping up in the woods are not for those kind of shots.  We have had a couple of young bucks trying to order Jim Beam shots at the window and it didn’t end well.....but they need to take their business elsewhere.  They are waking up Vern every single night and he, in turn, alerts us vocally to their comings and goings and if that doesn’t wake us up he gets Fudge up.  The two of them then like to perform a dance number we like to call the “Can-Can we get out of this house NOW?” on our hardwood floors. 

What ensues next is a lot of barking, a whole lot of mumbling, maybe some cursing, and glares from the spouse who has to get up at the spouse who pretends he is oblivious to all of the above.  I usually step outside with the dogs in the hopes that I can contain the barking to a minimum or at the very least, scare off the deer with my middle of the night Rod Stewart hairdo. 

Usually the deer get the message and head on down the road, but they must be lacking in memory skills, because they keep returning. Night after night!  Surely, they can see a pattern between nightly visits to the cornfield and frantic Doodle barking.  I know I would hate to be at a party and have to move the location somewhere else right in the middle of a good time because some agitated person filed a noise complaint.  Take a hint, deer, and take a hike.  I would be more than happy to name names of some hunters in our area who would love some late night visits from a group of disruptive, deer friends.  You can wake up their household instead of ours.  If the buck stops here again, it could get ugly.

[F, Calla & Luca]

Rosco was just compared to him the other day. Sometimes I feel like a librarian around here : )

http://www.doodlekisses.com/forum/topics/12-days-of-christmas-brush...

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

F, What did I miss about Rod Stewart??

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Cyndi, My two shoot out the door, too, and have almost gotten a squirrel several times. Yes, like you, I fear it will happen one of these days! Yikes!

Pat, I might want to trade Trav for Vern :) LOL

Ricki, OMD...broad daylight....say it ain't so...that would kill me. At least Vern takes good naps. I think you need to start packing to move or packing some heat :) LOL

Nina, We have an owl, too. I hear him almost every night when I go out with the dogs to hunt the deer :) The owl's "hoo hoo's" don't seem to bother our dogs.  I would love to get a picture of him, but so far, I just hear him.  A decoy might work. I have a large metal snowman. I wonder if that would do the trick!

F, We use a plastic lid to keep them out of the basement. They never try and go over top of it. We used to keep them in our room at night with the door shut, but Vern paced A LOT and we couldn't sleep through the pacing. We are trying a noise machine tonight.

Thanks, Murphy. I am glad those antler dogs don't bother you at your house. Luckily, no dogs ever walk by our house. I am a wimp, Murphy. I know my dogs love the coolness of the foyer and I hate to take that away from them. I am going to have to get tougher with that darn Vern and find those balls appendages he had removed!  Maybe a gate is in his future.

Sue, Thanks. Do you mean for Vern or me?? LOL

[Cyndi, The Boys & Callie]

Even in the suburbs of Atlanta, the deer invade.  We put up a 6 ft privacy fence which takes care of The Boys actually seeing seeing them (after many sleepless nights).  But, it does not solve the squirrel problem and Tank consider those a personal enemy. They all three shoot out the door like a rocket and jump 3/4 up the fence to get them.  So far, no luck but we're getting close. 

[Pat and Traveler]

Oh, I sympathize!  Trav has been especially vocal today--anybody walking down the sidewalk, parking a car, visiting a neighbor...aaarrrhhhgggg.  But this is nowhere near as bad as what you have happening.  Trav sleeps through the night.  In fact, he takes sleep time quite seriously and prefers not to be waked up in the middle of the night.  LOL

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

I can't imagine what our neighborhood would be like if they all survived!  We'd have to hire security especially during fawning season.

[F, Calla & Luca]

I've gotten so that when I see a deer that's been hit by a car I think one less. Sad but true.

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Laurie, I hear ya!! Here is the view from my front window:

We live in within the city limits, so no hunting allowed. This is even worse because they don't disappear during the day! And if they don't like what you are doing-watch out!  They will take you out!  One tried to hoof my cat to death once! Yes, humans, dogs and cats are the prey here and the deer are the hunters!  OMD!! It's open season year around! They hang around so much that Tara doesn't even bark at them anymore. Maybe she thinks they are part of our pack!  :(

[Nina, Phil, Harlow & Lacey]

Oh Laurie, I can so sympathize with you.  Except it is not deer that has my pack barking the last couple of nights but a large owl that has decided to take up quarters in a large pine tree in our back yard.

Maybe you could get one of those coyote decoys (like Donna & Bayley have) and put it near the corn field where the Deer Rave is taking place.

[F, Calla & Luca]

Boy, Rod Stewart is getting around DK lately.

I keep the dogs in the bedroom since if they hear something outside they too can set up a ruckus. Often it's something I am totally unaware of but a garbage truck or something else equally innocuous may just perk up someone's ears. So I have a "custom built" dog restraint system. When we are in the bedroom for the duration, I block the partially open door with dogs' laundry basket of toys. I hate to have the door completely closed and this allows some air to circulate. The dogs could easily dismantle this blockade but they don't.