Doris Came to Visit and We Met F, Calla, and Luca......and that's Not All!! Warning: Longest Blog in History!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I am not sure if anyone had noticed, but I was not on DK much last week and I have a very good reason.  Surely someone in the Photography group has missed my 200 daily submissions of Fudge and Vern, but maybe I am overstating my importance.  Since the cruise, Doris (Knox&Flash) and I have kept in touch and I have been encouraging her to make a trip to Pennsylvania.  I have encouraged other people to come visit, but most of them seem to be busy on the day or week I suggest and sometimes I have even said, “How can you be busy that day when I haven’t even told you a date yet?”  Well, quite recently, Doris said she had an opening in her busy schedule and could come SOON.  When someone is visiting who has never seen your house before it can bring on a severe case of “OMD…I need to clean, redecorate, declutter, and work myself into a frenzy kind of disorder.”  In between wrangling the dust bunnies under my bed and vacuuming up pounds of cat hair, my DK time had to suffer.  After all my hard work to quickly prepare for her visit, I will probably need a vacation from housework for at least a year and I even told John he should fire his cleaning lady (me) because the lazy woman has not been doing a very good job. Unfortunately, he said he couldn’t afford another one.

 

Doris arrived last Tuesday.  Now, I am not blaming anything directly on her, but we have had the most gorgeous weather right up until the day she arrived.  Since her arrival we had torrential rains and even hail.  I got to the airport early in excited anticipation and waited and waited and waited and waited.  Even after her plane landed, I waited and waited and waited.  Eventually, I think every last person came through the gate, even the flight crew, and still no Doris.  I texted her once to tell her she needed to get off the plane and walk towards an exit sign and look for a tall supermodel if she wanted to see me and still no Doris.  She will not confirm this, but I think an Air Marshall finally boarded the plane to check on the complaint they probably received from the departing flight crew that someone had left a small blonde package on the plane who was sitting there saying, “can I get another cup of coffee, y’all?”  At last, Doris arrived and it was a wonderful whirlwind since then and there is so much more to tell.

 

Her first night here, all of us went out to dinner at an exclusive Italian restaurant called Olive Garden.  Wednesday, Hayley took off work and the three of us headed up to Intercourse and Blue Ball for a good time. 

Doris had never seen an Amish buggy before and while I was yelling, “get your damn buggy off of the road and outta my way!” she was trying to take a picture to show the folks back home.  She wasn’t successful because my fast driving and her penchant for waiting until the moment was upon us to get her phone ready did not work in tandem to allow for a good picture. Sadly, the Intercourse Pretzel Co. was all out of their hard and soft golf caps, which make lovely Christmas gifts.  I offered to take her to Bingo on Wednesday, especially since their marquee said Big Wheely would be there, but we just ran out of time. We had to skip the old people’s diner where John and I eat many a meal, because we were afraid Doris would show up all the rest of the town folk since she has all of her teeth and is still just a whippersnapper.   Instead we opted to go to the lake and take pictures and walk the dogs. Doris was so impressed with my dog walking abilities; I think her exact words were, “have your dogs had any obedience training, y’all?”  The only other problem I had with Doris was I made the mistake of telling her my cruise contest poster was done and once or twice I had my suspicions that she was snooping around trying to find it.  I had to tell her twice that it was not in John’s underwear drawer and to stop looking, but all she said was, “I was looking for his carrot.”  (this part may or may not be true, but it made me giggle to write it)

 

I am warning you now this blog is going to be long, because I have a lot more to tell, so if you need an intermission take one now.  What most of you don’t know and how could you, since we have given the titles to ourselves, is that Doris and I head up several committees on DK.  We are co-leaders of the National Tail Inspection Society and the Do We Even Like You Committee.  Meanwhile, I have appointed myself to head up the Mythbusters Group, which is designed to focus on proving or debunking popular theories, old wives tales, rumors, home remedies, and myths. A kind of side job is to travel to different DK member’s home and see if they actually do practice what they preach. Since most of these committees are covert and/or some might argue nonexistent, except in our heads, you never know where we will strike.  Luckily, our first target didn’t know what hit her until it was too late. Doris’s job was to get our feet into the door, her small ones and my big ones, and find a way to wrangle an overnight invitation with her sweet southern ways.   Doris felt my way of just showing up at someone’s house and pounding on her purple door and yelling, “We know you are in there, now open up.  We are not leaving until we welcome you, check your Doodles over, and decide whether or not you are full of it!” was too abrupt. 

 

Our first victim assignment was to travel to F’s house and see whether or not,

·      Her middle initial was U

·      Luca’s tail was healing properly

·      Apple cider vinegar was in her home and her shouts of “Hokum” were just for show (pictures and results to follow)

·     If the Photography Group ever decided on a group nationwide meeting, we would be able to get along with F for the duration

 

We didn’t have a lot of time because Doris had to return home quickly or we would have had a list of at least twenty other DK members we wanted to force ourselves upon visit, but felt we owed it, out of respect, to start with DK’s dowager fossil octogenarian oldest living member. Again, this may or may not be true, but it sure made me giggle to write it and both ladies will attest to the fact that I can entertain myself for hours with my own jokes.

 

The day we arrived at F’s, we had quite a surprise, when we opened the door and there stood Janie (Jackson and Jilly) to greet us.  F had met up with her the prior week and invited her to join us for lunch.  I immediately bonded with Janie because A) we are both tall, slender, and stylish B) she brought cake and presents. 

Janie, I didn't get a picture, so I had to improvise what we looked like together!

Janie had remembered my birthday was in May, looked up the exact date on Facebook, and brought me a birthday cake.  In addition, she brought a wonderful array of desserts for lunch and presents for each of our dogs.  I tried to offer her Doris’s beautiful camera bag in return, but Doris would not let go of it.  Janie left after lunch and I noticed she did not tell us to come and visit her next time.  If only Doris had let her have that camera bag.  Anyways, we had a great lunch and I am not trying to make anyone look badly, but some guests (Doris) sure did not listen to our hostess.  F had already waggled her finger at me once when I let Luca jump up on me and when she told me NOT to help clear the dishes at lunch, I listened, because I was not risking getting in trouble again.  Not Doris.  She jumped right up and started helping and I know it was an attempt to make me look badly and win the “best guest” award.  She kept doing it, too.  When F suggested things we could do or eat…Botanical gardens, zoo, MUSEUMS, Indian Food….it was left to me to say, “no, no, I WOULD RATHER GO TO THE DENTIST THAN A MUSEUM, curry is not my friend,” while Doris smiled sweetly and said, “y’all decide.”  I just wanted to pinch her.  Doris also couldn’t stop giggling when F looked right at me and said, “the glider is broken and I fixed it as best I could, but only lighter people can sit on it.”  WTD The weird thing was when we went out for Chinese food, my fortune cookie said, “You are not too big to sit on a broken glider!”

 

Despite all this, I just could not believe I was sitting in the living room of the woman who was the first one to yell “Hokum” at me in a discussion, told Ricki and me that two lumps was not always better than one, has once or twice in her own way called me a dumbass, hates my orange bikini picture and my birdhouse picture, and once told me to stick my head in apple cider vinegar for over four minutes to get rid of wrinkles and I know for a fact that doesn’t work, because I tried it, although I was smart enough to use scuba gear.  Luckily, not only did I love F in person, I loved her dogs. I jokingly told her that we had come to see if we could stand spending time with her at a future Photography romp and then added I was starting to sense it was not going to work out, but I was fibbing and just going for a laugh.  As long as she doesn’t bring her glider, I think it would be fine. Her dogs are a dream and never once called me a lump and if I had had enough room in my car (remember, I am an overpacker) I would have snuck the two of them home with me.  Luca is an ornery little imp with a ball obsession and Calla is the sweetest dog on the planet with the most beautiful, expressive eyes.

F said we spoiled Luca because both Doris and I were at his mercy when he stood at the screen door with that ball in his mouth.  The tail inspection went well, and we thought his little tail gave him a distinctive look that Luca pulls off quite debonairly.  I have concrete proof, Ricki, that F keeps ACV in her home and blackmail pictures, if needed.

Plenty more pictures where these came from!  I just knew she used ACV!

I searched for proof that her middle initial was U, but I never actually found any mail addressed to F.U., only a holistic medicine magazine where someone had scratched FU in red ink on the cover, so just take my word for it. 

 

Doris and I wore our bikinis. Mine was, of course, orange, and Doris sported a pink one.  We brought one for F, which she wore, but allowed no pictures.  She said only a couple of dumb monkeys would allow themselves to be photographed and have their pictures posted on the Internet.

 

Meet Dumb Monkey #1 & Dumb Monkey #2

She used that term a lot.  When she was showing me how to do something in Photoshop, she said again even a monkey could do it and looked right at me.  In her directions to her house, she even included this sentence, “go straight about 0.6 mile and you will see a squiggly arrow sign, like the one in the top row third from the left,” and included a group of road signs to show us which one she meant.  I told Doris that F thought we were both so dumb she didn’t think we would know a squiggly sign from a stop sign.  Her directions to the airport were handed to us with the comment, “if you can’t find your way to the airport, you shouldn’t be flying or driving,” and she may or may not have mentioned a monkey again. I would like to add that these two monkeys made it to the airport quickly and with no problems.

 

F’s son called to check on her once, to make sure two Internet strangers had not killed his mother, but once we yelled we were waiting until right before we left to do the deed, he seemed fine and hung up the phone.  John did not call to check on me and when I called him to tell him I was still alive and F did not seem dangerous, he said he figured it would have taken her more than two days to want to kill me and he was fine with me staying longer.  Since this was a covert operation, we could not let anyone know, but once there we did try and call Jane (Guinness&Murphy) to see if she was busy, but she covered the phone and said to Dave, “quick, come up with something we have to do today,” and a meet up was not in the plans.  I wish I could say I know where everyone lived along the way, but sadly I mostly know what dog belongs to what member, or I would have stopped on the way home after dropping Doris at the airport and visited every one of you whether you wanted me to or not. It remains to be seen if we are invited back or not, because I think we mentioned next time once to F and she said something about there not being a next time. In the end, we did nothing for two days but play with Doodles, visit, laugh, and eat.  It was wonderful and the perfect visit.

 

All of us said we never imagined the world that would open for us when we got our Doodles and joined DK.  There is no other site where I feel like I know members and can call some my good friends.  It does sound funny to say you are going to visit a total stranger and she is going to let you stay at her house.  They have TV shows about gullible people who fall for just such a story and sometimes it does not end well. 

Non-DK members just don’t get it like we do, but our common love of dogs and Doodles has given us a place to start.  First the cruise, then Cheryl at a seminar, now F…who could be next?  The list is endless of the people I want to meet and even re-visit.   Now, I just need to lose weight so I can sit on everyone’s glider and I know once that happens the invitations will soon be pouring into my mailbox.

Enjoy the pictures!

Doris made a new friend!  Is that Stewpid in the background?

Someday, I will own this frog!  I just need to find where they sell them! This was a display only!

Hayley was thrilled to tag along!

Note to self: Do not rest boobs on camera bag for a picture and find larger friends to avoid looking like Lurch!

Doris begged to have her picture taken with my rooster!

The only picture I took of Doris with Fudge. Can you believe that??

Someone loved Doris. Talk about a Doodle Kiss!

Little Luca!

Beautiful Calla!

Laurie and F....you can tell she liked me better than Doris!

and finally....three friends!  

[Linda, Charlie Brown and Beau]

I just reread this too!  Friendships are so wonderful!

[F, Calla & Luca]

Boy, some blogs never die :-)

[Lonnie & Libby Lu]

Just read this again, so love it!

[Cheryl and Finnegan]

Oh brother!  :)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Ricki, You always make me laugh :)

Cheryl, People mix us up all the time, because we are both geniuses :) Glad you got some rest!

[Cheryl and Finnegan]

LOL Good one  Ricki.  

OMD I was so tired last night, I confused Ricki and Laurie. I told you I had my L's (and apparently my R's) mixed up. Yes, Finn and I had a nice long rest :)

[F, Calla & Luca]

Good one Ricki, back on your game.

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Otherwise, it could turn into an L of a problem.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Cheryl, I hope you get to take a long nap today, so you can get your L's straight :)

[Cheryl and Finnegan]

Luge, loge, LOL --Laurie, I had very little sleep last night so you've lost me in the land of L's :)  If anyone want me, I'll be on the mezzanine :)