Perfection is in the Eye of the Beholder?

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I am on my high horse this morning again and as often happens when I am up there; I like to make sure everyone knows why I am sitting high. I am sure many of you have read the comments the CEO of a certain clothing retailer had to say about overweight teenage girls and the “not cool” crowd.  Allegedly (see what I learned on Regis and Kelly), this guy does not feel these “uncool people or fat girls.” should be wearing their clothes and the largest pant’s size they carry is a size 10, according to the report I read.  I am not sure who decided anything over a size 10 is fat, but this guy seems to believe it. Luckily, they still offer XL and XLL for men, just in case a big, strong athlete comes through their doors. Evidently, the CEO has not seen a female athlete before and must assume the over size 10 girls are home making desserts and trying to download their application to get on The Biggest Loser.

I am so mad about all this, I was going to write to him and tell him I was taking my business elsewhere and then I remembered I am too large to shop there anyways. Maybe I will just put my Muumuu on and stand outside one of the stores with my hundred pound dog and a sign that reads, “Your CEO is an XL ass!”

 

What does all this have to do with Doodles, you might ask, and I say plenty.  This whole concept of perfection seems to me to be carried over in just about every aspect of life and who gets to decide who or what is perfect and who is not?  I hate to always sound like an old fart, but I can remember our first couch we got when someone died in John’s family and we were able to choose something we wanted from her estate.  I am not going to say there were no other takers, but I will say we didn’t have to fight off one of John’s brothers or sisters for our selection. Up until that time, our couch was a twin bed and when we first laid eyes on that lime green sofa, we just knew what item was going home with us.  I decorated around it for years, was happy to have it, and hung on to it a long time before deeding it to a friend at work.  Not once, did we ever say we wished it had been leather or stylish or any other color but lime green.  We just were thankful to have something to sit on to watch TV.

 

One of my favorite shows to watch is House Hunters, but it never ceases to amaze me these young kids who walk into a house and want it to be perfect, if only it had granite countertops, an En Suite master bathroom, bigger closets, better paint colors, or hardwood floors. I doubt John and I will ever be able to unload our home on one of these kinds of buyers. What were we thinking when we walked into our current home painted every shade of purple imaginable, a loft closet, smallish bedrooms, and medieval lights?  I will say the lighted coffin with a doily and plant on it in the foyer made me think twice, and had it not been for John pushing me to look again, I might have run screaming from the house never to return or at least, not without a priest. 

Boy, I am glad I chose instead to look beyond the imperfections and imagine the possibilities.

 

My dogs are not perfect, either, and if you can find one perfect dog, person, husband, wife, friend, relative, or hero, please let me know, so I can get one, too.  My not perfect husband accidentally forgot to put the leashes and prong collars back in the leash basket and instead took them to work with him the other day.  My not perfect dogs do not understand, “I am going to kill your father when he gets home from work for taking your stuff with him and I think we won’t be able to go for a walk today,” so I had to improvise with what we had around the house.  Luckily, I found a harness for Fudge, but the other one I had purchased optimistically in a size large for Vern would not go around his chest.  I guess he couldn’t shop at that CEO's store, unless I could prove his girth size is due to lifting weights.  For Vern, I found a half buried prong collar, which I did not think to try on before we left the house, and realized once we got to the park, it did not fit and was too small again to go around his XXL neck.  The tightness did not seem to deter Vern, but it bothered me and I was afraid at some point it would knock him out and then I would have to drag him back to the car.  I am in the process of creating a new training collar called the, and don’t try to say it all in one swift breath,  HermanSprengerProngSpornVibratingHaltiheadorbodycollarWalkYourDogwihLoveInsteadof

Threats collar, and I figured when combined with a couple of shots of Nyquil administered before we leave the house, my Doodle Bull Moose and his prey driven sidekick should be walking like perfect companions in no time. 

Who are you calling a Doodle Bull Moose and his prey driven sidekick?

If not, I am going to be really mad, because I thought these dogs were supposed to be perfect. Where do I go for a refund?

 

This need for perfection is one of the reason I think dogs end up homeless, because they often times cannot meet the unrealistic expectations of the people purchasing them.  I have long since adapted my own personal motto of good enough to most aspects of my life and not because I don’t have goals and aspirations, but because striving for the unattainable perfection just makes life harder. Every time I serve my husband a home cooked meal, he gets to see my good enough culinary skills in action and if I ever write a cookbook, I am going with that title.  My dogs are good enough, too.  Neither is ever going to win a “Best in Show” award or even honorable mention in a “Best Listener” contest, but that is my fault, not theirs, because my good enough motto applies to dog training and dog grooming, too.  With my bad attitude, no one has ever called me perfect and in fact, I seem to hear the opposite quite often from people I have given birth to and raised.  This past week, I celebrated a birthday and Mother’s Day and the recent phone conversation with my oldest went something like this:

 

Me:  I pushed you from my loins and you can’t send me a Mother’s Day card?

Daughter:  I combined your Mother’s Day present and your Birthday present and you will be getting it before your birthday!

Me:  Next year, I guess I will combine your birthday with Christmas and mail it all to you in April, since we are now combining celebrations!

Daughter: Mom, you are going to be pretty embarrassed about complaining when you see your great gift.

Me:  It had better not be another homemade Macaroni necklace!

Daughter:  Sometimes, you can be the worst mother. I gotta go, but I love you!

Me:  Love you, too, but your sister is now my favorite!

 

See, no perfection in this family. Not even close.  Not the people or the dogs.

 

In a roundabout way, I guess what I am trying to say is I find it disappointing when we talk about bullying in schools, and being kinder to others, that some CEO gets interviewed and in fact says that there are just some people more worthy than others, because they are more beautiful, more attractive, and thinner, and that’s just life.  That’s a lot of pressure for a teenager who is trying to navigate the waters of life and find their way and self-worth.  This is the next generation of child rearers and dog owners and if these kinds of messages are all they ever hear; nothing is ever going to be “good enough” for them.  Maybe I am making too much of a small thing or pinning too much stuff on one guy, but that’s the good thing about being born in the U.S.A., I can voice my opinion and choose to shop at stores that support the same things I believe in and encourage others to do the same.

[Camilla and Darwin]

I completely agree with you about everything you've said, and you are not making too big of a deal about it. I wish there were more people like you out there, then you could all organize a big "throw XL sized dog poop on that jerk CEO" party. I would come and enjoy it!

[Traci -Bexter & Maggie]

In my eyes, this blog is perfect.  You brought up many great points.  I love your saying, "Good enough."  I think I will start using that in my own life.  I find that I am too much of a perfectionist myself and it tends to make me miserable.  I hope you always keep writing.  Your humor and insight combine PERFECTLY to impact people's lives in a positive way.  Not only do we laugh, be we reflect on important life issues.  Thank you for that.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Doris, No worries :)  I told F and you I am an overpacker and there is no cure for my problem :) I could use our car top carrier.

F, Well said :)

Lonnie, You never know where I will turn up with all my luggage :)

[F, Calla & Luca]

Doris, no need to steal. We will all share this motto.

[Lonnie & Libby Lu]

Laurie!  ARE YOU COMING TO CALIFORNIA?  :) :) :)  LOL

[Doris, Knox & Flash]

Laurie,  could we pull a trailer for all of your craps stuff??

[Doris, Knox & Flash]

I have just read through the past several comments and want to clarify that I adore my mom.  At 83 years old, I thank God daily for her.  I think she truly wanted the absolute best of me and I remain her pride and joy -- her 50 year old baby.  I have always lived by "no excuses" and I'm hoping no one thought i was looking for any type of sympathy.  I was really just emphasizing that it's not just the outside world that causes self-esteem issues but also home-sweet-home.  Reading Allyson's comment has me hopeful that there are young mothers out there who have motherhood figured out, and I KNOW you older ones figured it out a long time ago : )

I love F's motto and am stealing it! 

[F, Calla & Luca]

Laurie, if you took only what you needed and not you usual you could take 7 or 8.

[F, Calla & Luca]

My mother was not like that at all, we were her beautiful daughters. But my dad had great expectations academically and obedience wise, not always easy. But at some point we all become our own parents, therapists etc. and we hopefully become more self accepting. My new motto, invented the other day, is PIP. It stands for put it in perspective and works when looking at all sorts of things like how we look, how well off we are, our friends and families. When you do a brief run through in your mind most of us come out quite well and our troubles diminish. I too think you are terrific Doris. Besides everything else they don't make nicer than you.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Karen, You turned out great, too :)

Allyson, I love your comment and your outlook on life. Seriously.not.kidding!! Your husband and Charlotte and sweet Tacky and Peri are very, very, lucky!!

Lori, I guess we have to accept our mothers are not perfect, either :) I am so glad you found out what is important to you and it sounds like you have done that and are happy. YAY!

Adrienne, Thank you!