Going Home Again!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Last Thursday I left home to surprise my mother who is recovering from knee replacement surgery.  I could tell she wanted me home by the way she said, “I’m trying to watch The Voice,” one night when I called to see how she was doing.  Fudge knew something was up when I got the luggage out to begin packing.  John kept saying she seemed depressed, but he seemed to be handling it better than Fudge and had a big smile on his face all week.  I would look up from doing something and find Fudge just staring at me.  The morning I left I kissed and hugged her about 100 times and despite the warnings to make your goodbyes uneventful, I kept telling her I was going to miss her and how much I loved her.  Vern is less perceptive than Fudge and may have thought all the commotion meant I was just going down to get the mail, but once he saw Fudge was getting lots of attention he joined in the fun of trying to block my way out the door as I was loading up the car.  Fudge is a very detail oriented dog and notices everything.  Sometimes it is nice to have someone pay attention to you as if you make the world a better place for him/her. It sure beats coming home from the hairdresser with fixed up hair and having to finally say to your husband, “do you notice anything different about me?” only to have him say, “Hold on, let me look at you.  I give up.”  The last thing I saw when I left the house were my dogs standing at the door, trying to go with me in the hopes that we were just going for another walk and all the packing had just been for fun. 

 

I am getting to that age where leaving to go somewhere is not worth all the effort.  The place I like to be most is my own home and I hate packing and unpacking.  Some people will tell you it is because I bring too much, but I am never going to change. 

I also stress about my dogs, because I know all of their quirks and habits and I am positive they get the best care when I am home.  Sometimes, when I come home from being somewhere and see their food and water bowls empty upon my return, I will turn to them and say, “You had better hope I outlast these other people or you two are screwed.”  John and Hayley have perfected what they think is the perfect response to my cries of distress that my poor dogs are out of water.  They ALWAYS say that they JUST filled the water bowl and the dogs must have JUST finished it off, but since no one's muzzle is dripping all over the place and the dogs are standing there shaking their heads in denial, I never believe them.  I don’t care if they add, “I swear I am telling the truth,” to make it seem more believable, I always side with my dogs.

 

Driving in a car alone for ten hours gives you lots of time to think and I got to thinking about Karen’s interview and what a hard act she would be to follow.  First of all, I have shared almost every detail of my life in my blogs and there is not much more to tell.  I have shared my shoe size and my head size and most everything in between. Oh sure, if Adina asked me what my bra size was I would have to politely decline to answer and tell her instead that I think after a certain age cup size should be obsolete and instead be measured more like a man and his pant’s size.  Yes, I wear a 36 Long or a 32 with a 4” inseam. Please keep in mind this is only an example, but it just makes more sense to me. If she asks me about pet peeves, I would have to tell her the interview would be shorter if she asked me what doesn’t bother me.  In regards to the question about what four people I want over for dinner, I would honestly have to answer Auntie Anne, Little Debbie, Ben or Jerry, and Sara Lee. 

Oh, and I forgot to add it would be a Potluck dinner or a BYOF party, as in Bring Your Own Food and plenty of it. Karen even got asked when she got her first kiss and I am scared Adina is going to take this one step further and ask me something much more personal about my love life and what happens when we are behind closed doors in our marital bed is nobody’s business.  The only secret I am willing to divulge is most of the time we are both awake and if not, we are supposed to wake the other one up if something exciting happens.  When I read how Karen went out and educated herself to learn how to do weightlifting correctly, I am ashamed to admit I haven’t even educated myself on how to operate the Food Dehydrator that I just had to have for treats for Fudge and Vern.  It is down in the basement on Appliance Death Row waiting for a reprieve from the governor. I thought about this on and off all day and it made the time go faster on the way home, which was nice. Doris also kept me company, via the phone, which was even nicer.

My middle sister was the sister we voted most likely to be there during my mom’s surgery.  She isn't bothered by most stuff and since my motto is, “don’t ask me to do it and then I don’t have to tell you NO!” when it comes to most things medically related it just seemed like the smarter choice.   The middle sister has long said she is the one who had the worst position in the sibling pecking order and my oldest sister and I are fine giving her more stories to tell of her persecution on the road to sainthood.  My mom is now in the rehab hospital and doing superb and following all her instructions because she is motivated to return home.  She absolutely despises the food and tells you often as she sits there eating it, determined not to waste a bite.   She is also adamant that she will never go to another hospital or rehab facility before checking out the TV channels that they offer first.  We all have visions of her being rushed by ambulance to some emergency room and seeing our mother clinging to the van door, refusing to enter the hospital because she found out they didn’t have Turner Classic Movies.  

Prior to the surgery I was getting constant updates from both sisters and mom made it very clear that her chart had better be marked DNR.  After the surgery and after the first few days at the rehab hospital, we think the nurses probably greeted each other at shift change by saying, “whatever you do, DO NOT resuscitate the patient in that room,” and pointed at my mother’s door.  The first night I called to check on her she told me her nurse was not up to snuff and was having a bad day. I relayed the news to John and we both wondered out loud if it had anything to do with one of the patients she had been assigned to that night. Now that she has settled in and knows what to expect, things are going better.   She has picked out her favorite staff members and has already been to see the hairdresser to get her hair done.  I have even checked her out of the place twice for dinner and at 87 and less than ten days post surgery, I think that is pretty remarkable.  She has gotten a little testy with me on more than one occasion and told me to stop treating her like a baby.  At these times, I have thought about going out and finding a pair of size 12 ruby red slippers and banging them together three times and yelling, “there is no place like home!” and hoping it takes me back to Pennsylvania to my life, my routine, my family, and my dogs. 

There is some argument about what I am missing most.  I’ve called home every day to check on Fudge and Vern and find out how they are doing.  It isn’t easy when our parents get old. It isn’t easy being old. My mom wants to go back to her life and so do I.  Tomorrow I get my wish and my mom will very soon. She has vowed not to complain about the food where she lives ever again and I have vowed to remind her if she forgets. We both have our work cut out for us, but being home will help. 

[Camilla and Darwin]

Lol, love the blog. DH and I went on a trip for spring break this year, and the in-laws watched Darwin. I knew he'd be fine but I couldn't help but torture myself over whether he was getting brushed enough, pet enough, or had enough water. I also kept thinking "this would be so much more fun if Darwin was here..." :-)

Glad your mom is doing well!

[Lori, Quincy & Frankie]

"Getting old is not for sissies" according to Bette Davis...and it's the truth.  Hope your Mom is up and at 'em soon and both of your are home soon.  

[Bonnie and Kona]

@Sandy. Every time dog sitters stay with our pooches they become their favorite people. Your two will be great.

[Carol and Banjo]

Laurie,  You're so right about it not being easy being or getting old....but it beats the alternative.   I'm happy to hear your Mom is coming along so well and will be home soon.    When DH's Mom fell and broke her hip, went through the rehab and returned home, we were sure it would only be a matter of time before she'd agree to come live with us.   It seems, going home and taking "care of her own" was the best medicine.   She's recovered well and seems to be doing better than ever.  

Glad you're back Laurie....and the visual of F&V shaking their heads just cracked me up!

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

PS- this sign reads, " Hi Mom"

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

Laurie, I know you are coming through Ohio :)
I'll buy you a cup of coffee ( har har) if you want to meet up along the highway.
I'll let Spud jump on you! Really though, I've missed you.
The Word of the day is, "weed"

[Pat and Traveler]

So glad to hear your mom is doing well, Laurie!  She's a feisty one.  :)

I left Trav once for three days--and missed him SO much!  I'm sure my daughter did lots of things wrong, but somehow he survived.  lol

[Leslie and Halas]

I'm glad your mom is doing well.  My 92-year-old neighbor just came home from a nursing home about a month ago.  She was there most of the winter.  At that age, I think it's a major accomplishment that she was able to come back to her home.  But, whenever I ask her how she's doing, she always seems sad.  She just can't do the things she used to do and still wants to do, and that really upsets her.  So it's great that your mom is motivated to get home and start doing the things she wants to be doing.

And it's good to have you back!

[Lonnie & Libby Lu]

We have missed you Laurie and so glad you are back!  Totally understand the packing and missing the Doodles.  I am going down to San Diego this Friday for four days and already I am having second thoughts about leaving LIbby!  DH just does not follow instructions very well and even posting a two page note on the refrigerator does not work!   You are a very good daughter and I'm sure your Mom really appreciates all you do and have done for her!  It is hard when our parents get old and they become children to us!

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

I hope your mom keeps getting better :) Thinking of you both!