Happy Holidays from Our House to Yours!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

It seems like every year the month of December flies by in a whirl.  I always have high hopes that I am going to enjoy a Christmas movie every day and we are going to drive around and look at lights.  It never happens.  Usually, I am so busy trying to get everything done that I am cross and irritated.  Last night I yelled at Fudge and Vern because they were in my way as I was trying to frantically finish some last minute wrapping for gifts I need to distribute today.  Do you think Santa yells at his best elves? John had the audacity to ask for a kiss when I was getting some cookies boxed up and I screwed up my face and said, “Hurry up!” At the beginning of the week he came home to a great (wink, wink) dinner of Sloppy Joes and since he is happy whenever I attempt to cook, he said they were good.  I followed that compliment with a “they’re good enough,” and went on to tell him the name of my new cookbook is going to be Good Enough and reiterated how much I despise cooking.  He thought that was very funny and we did laugh, but I was only half kidding.  So far, this month has not been The Walton’s Christmas, but more like a Hallmark movie Maxine’s Crabby Christmas.

 

I envy those people who greet the Holidays with ease.  My sister can have twenty-five people over for Thanksgiving and only start thinking about cleaning her house on the Wednesday right before the big day.  I have been cleaning for days and I have only two guests coming home for Christmas, my daughter and her husband.  I don’t know why I feel the pressure since they are family, not really guests, and could care less about the way my house looks, but I just do.  My daughter is lucky she didn’t inherit this trait from her mother.  She hates to clean and for the longest time used to say her husband can be the stay at home when they start having children and I always answered that she would do anything to get out of cleaning.  She once helped me clean by waving the dust cloth NEAR the furniture she was supposed to be dusting and then declared cleaning wasn’t that hard at all.   Of course, I promptly fired her and sent her off into the world thinking her mother preferred to do everything herself to make sure it got done correctly.  Even now when I go to her house and she tells me she cleaned in anticipation of my arrival, I want to ask if she used actual cleaning products, but John always stops me by covering my mouth before I can put my foot in there.  It isn't that she isn't clean, it is more that I have a big mouth and like to use it. I guess my sister and daughter are what I would call intellectuals and have far more important things to do with their time than clean.  They work hard at their jobs and have a quest for knowledge that I do not have and so I guess, I clean, dust, and vacuum, and at the end of the day we all feel content with what we accomplished or in my case, righteous and prepared to fight off messy people. Consider me a modern day Anti-Dirty Harry...go ahead, make my day, drop one morsel on the floor and see what happens.

 

One of the reasons I stopped having my Christmas cookie party was because it made me nuts.  My mom was here once the week before the party and I warned her ahead of time I would be busy cleaning and to stay out of my way.  For the most part she was good, except one day she stood at the bottom of the steps and yelled, “Aye, aye, Captain. Permission to come aboard,” and I yelled back, “Denied.”  She wouldn’t let it go, however, and started saying she was hungry and felt her blood sugar dropping and got mad when I threw a sucker down there and said, “Bon appetit.”  Certainly, that sounds better than, “suck on this, woman,” but we will have to agree to disagree on that point.  I used to shut the doors to the rooms I cleaned and announce nightly that no one was to open those rooms until the party started.  Once, John asked how he was supposed to go to the bathroom since all the bathroom doors were shut and I suggested a cork or the gas station up the street.  Somehow, they rebelled and pushed their way into those bathrooms, but I made sure they knew the bathroom had better be up to my standards when they were done.  It is a hellish week before the party with me running around with a sour face, pointing out crumbs left behind on the counter tops, harrumphing when they make a mess, and dust busting any spec of dirt I see even if it happens to be on a loved one.  John is lucky if I laugh when he points out a crumb or something on his pants and says, “Eureka!  This could be the most action I have seen since you sent out your invitations!”  Mostly, no one is cracking jokes, but yelling at me to take a pill.

 

This year I promised I was cutting back and I did, but I still feel driven to make the perfect Christmas for my family.  My daughters have both said to stop all the fuss, so I have no one but myself to blame for being grumpy.  I know my one daughter has outgrown the phase she went through when we could have purchased a Ferrari, the Hope Diamond, and a Spa vacation for her only to have her say, “I can’t wait until I open my big present.”  Nope, it isn’t about the presents, but maybe I feel like it is my job to make the holidays special for my family and I just don’t want to ever hear them say, “remember the Christmas mom did nothing,” but then again, a relaxed and happy mom might be just the right present.

 

I hope we all can remember what the holidays SHOULD be about and take the time to hug those important to us, tell them we love them, and forget about the stuff that no one is ever going to remember.  Please do as I say and not as I do.

[Bonnie and Kona]

Sweet Laurie, I am sorry you have the holiday crankiness creeping into your activities. Your blog reminded me of the weekly Advent candle lighting we did when the kids were young. I would make hot cocoa from scratch, provide a variety of Christmas cookies and have Christmas music softly playing in the background. The plan was to read scripture, sing a Christmas carol and complete the lovely tableau with a prayer. Reality was the kids bickering, me getting mad, my son burning something with the candle (little pyromaniac that boys are) and my husband laughing through the whole thing. ugh. I have cut so far back we barely get a tree up. We don't give gifts to anyone but the grandchildren and make donations to charitable organizations in the names of the adults. I bake or I don't and we usually eat it all before I bake again. The craziness is over but so is some of the fun. I hope you figure out how to do both...celebrate the reason for the season without getting caught up in murderous thoughts of the family.   ;o)    Wishing you lots of Christmas Cheer! 

[F, Calla & Luca]

Young men like beef jerky, hot chocolate and things like that, well, among things you can get at the grocery store. We've missed you Donna and I was thinking that we see you less since you've retired, I kid you not.

[Donna K & Quincy]

Laurie, Thank you so much for making me laugh, I swear we are living parallel lives. Having retired this year I thought I would have lots of time to do all the Christmas stuff, instead, I procrastinated and find myself rushing to get things done, so much so that it has seriously interfered with my DK time. I may be just a tiny bit cranky too, while my DH was sizing up the Christmas tree in the living room last night I heard him say "there's no balls on the tree", my thought 'if you say one more word there will be but maybe not the kind you have in mind'. It's finally starting to come together, the shopping is done, the presents are wrapped, the house is decorated and the doodle is freshly bathed and brushed, now all I have to do is shop for groceries and clean the house.
I get to cook Christmas dinner this year and I just found out we'll be having an extra guest, a young man who is attending university here and won't be going home for Christmas. He is a friend of my neice's and I've never met him but that's what Christmas is about. There will be gift exchanging going on and I'd like to get him a little something, any ideas? Something I could find at the grocery store would be good. :>)))))

Happy Holidays to all of you, Christmas is coming ready or not.

ps, Maybe Vern could help you clean he seems to lick like it.

[F, Calla & Luca]

BTW, great photo!

[F, Calla & Luca]

Aye, aye captain. I will follow your do as I say by the book and I may not sweep up indoor debris til after the new year ; )

[PJ and Zach]

Happy Holidays to you, too Laurie!  You are smart enough to see the humor in your stress, and we all know that humor is the very best medicine.  LOVE your card picture!

[Elizabeth, Bailey & Bruin]

I needed this blog about 2 weeks ago...I usually love Christmas but this year....not so much.  All is well with my family but I am having to settle with ..."good enough" Oh well!

Thanks for the laugh and all the laughs throughout the year!  Can't wait to read you blogs in the coming year and looking forward to meeting you on the cruise in October!

Merry Christmas to you and your family...doodle kisses to Vern and Fudge!!!

[Jarka, Monty & Auggie]

Good enough sounds good enough to me! Merry Christmas! I love the picture.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

It's really a shame that you don't drink, Laurie.   I used to try for that "perfect" XMAS....but I gave that up a few years ago, and everyone is so much happier.  I say there's absolutely nothing wrong with "good enough".

[Carol and Banjo]

Merry Christmas to you and all of your family Laurie.   I'm pleased my daughters are not the saddled with my "cleaning obsession"....but  find it a challenge to keep my mouth shut too!