Hey Guinness, Can I Borrow Murph?

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Dear Guinness,

I was wondering if I could borrow your baby brother for a few days. I know it will be hard for you to part with him for even that long, but we have a problem at our house and I need Murphy to help us fix it.

Guinness, we have bugs!!!!! Lots of these shiny buzzy bugs that fly all over the place- they're even called "flies" 'cause they fly around so much, and they land everywhere! Mom says they are filthy and she is going crazy trying to get rid of them.

It started last week. It has been really hot here and there are lots more bugs than usual this year. And my mom's grandson (I guess that makes him my nephew?) goes in and out all day long with his friends, and they leave the garage door open. The garbage is in the garage, and the flies started coming inside the garage and then inside our house! They come in all the doors! I go in and out a lot, too, and every time any door opens, more flies come in! My mom has already killed about two million and they're still not gone! We got new garbage cans, but the flies still come in!

I don't really care if we have flies or not, even though they're supposed to be dirty. Dirt does not bother me. But my mom walks around all day with a rolled up magazine or this other thing called a fly swatter in her hand, smacking flies, and I don't like that. (Please don't tell anyone 'cause I am embarrassed, but it kind of scares me when my mom suddenly whacks the wall or the doors with the magazines and the fly swatter. I know my mom would never hit me, but it scares me anyway.) Sometimes she bangs it against the window and it makes a really loud noise; I am afraid she is going to break the window! Plus, it takes up too much time! Every time we're getting ready to go for a walk or play ball, my mom sees another fly somewhere and has to go get something to whack it with! This morning there were three flies in the mudroom and I had to wait for my breakfast while my mom smacked them! She says a lot of bad words when she does it, too. (Don't tell anyone about that, either.)

Our cat used to catch bugs and eat them, but she is really old now and doesn't move around so good. Then I remembered my mom said that your brother Murphy likes to eat bugs! So could I please borrow Murphy to come here and eat all the flies? I can help him reach the ones that are real high up. I don't have any money, but I will send you some of my toys to repay you, Guinness! And Murphy can see how it feels to be the littlest dog in the house for a while, that might be good, too. It probably won't take very long, maybe three or four days, and then you can have Murph back! And my mom will stop walking around smacking the walls and pay attention to me again!

So what do you say, Guinness? Can I borrow your baby brother for a while?

Your friend,

Jackdoodle

[Camilla and Darwin]

I have this visual image of 20 or so doodles running around Karen's house, gorging themselves on flies. Hilarious. :-)

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Send 'em all! Part-time, full-time, plenty of flies for all! In fact, I think most of the flies in North America have come to my house for summer break! They must have heard we eat pretty good around here.

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

Starlit eats bugs :) No squeaky toys, no balls. Just bugs. She can be lazy so she prefers to bottom suck them off the ground as she lies lazily. There are one or two heroic attempt to catch fireflies at night might be considered.
She is good to cover breaks and lunch hours for Murphy. Otherwise, she is not a great hard worker. Part-time employment is all for this Diva.

[Linda and Murphy]

I read all the stuff to Murphy and he says you can have Blair Witch the cat. SHE does bugs and lizards and snakes....no alligators (but that shouldn't be a problem at your house, Jackdoodle)
He also says he can't wait to find out how bats in the house work out....

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Hey JD....
Here's that fly zapping thing that I was telling you about. Mom says they have it at Home Depot for $9.99. That's even cheaper than an antler.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I want all these bug-eating doodles to come teach Jackdoodle to appreciate the delicacies in life! Send the Doodle Bug-eating Brigade right over!

[Christine & Shelby]

Jackdoodle... to bad you live so far away - I love bugs. I live in TX and we have plenty of them. My mom jokes that she may not have to pay the exterminator guy any more, but there is one bug I don't hunt, kill and eat - so she still has to call. We've only had a couple of flies in the house, and I love to catch them. I hope one of your doodle friends who is closer can make it to your place.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I really shouldn't tell you this, Peri, because maybe it will make you not want to come visit us, but the temperature here today is 95 degrees, with a "heat index" (whatever that is) over 100 !!!!! I think that's why the flies want to come inside our house, to cool off!
But please come anyway! I am big enough to keep you completely shaded if you stay in my shadow!

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

I wish I could JD - I bet it is cooler up there too! Today mom told me it is 100+ degrees. That is why they keep my hair so short in the summer. Can you tell her to let me come up and cool down? I promise your mom will like me because I eat bugs. I am a pretty good girl too :)

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Guinness, we're really sorry to hear that your mom is sick. That's awful! I will tell my mom about the tennis racket zapper thing, and you tell your mom we hope she feels better soon. I still think you should send Murphy here for awhile, though. He could not get my head in his mouth unless he has a mouth like a hippo! In fact, maybe I will put his head in my mouth and show him how it feels! Bwaa ha ha!
Allyson, please ask your mom to let Peri come eat flies at my house! She knows my mom will take very good of her while she's here!