Home for the Holidays!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

My daughter and son-in-law came home for the Holidays on Christmas Eve.  They left on December 23^rd and their flight was supposed to get into Dulles airport around 12:30 am, but instead was delayed until 4:00 am.  Since my husband and I were the picker uppers, we had little sleep that night since the airport is two hours from our house.  When we were younger we could operate on less sleep and used to even go to midnight movies.  Nowadays, the late show for us is anything after the matinee and missing one night of sleep is the equivalent of poking a bear awake long before winter is over.  In other words, there may be repercussions for the pokers.  We came home dragging and were met by two large dogs that didn’t think lack of sleep was a good enough reason to skip their expected walk.  Fudge is always agreeable to a nap, but I knew if we didn’t walk Vern our much needed nap would be short lived and probably interrupted by a wet nose, wagging tail and a look that said, “do you guys have any idea how much longer you will be sleeping because I am ready for my walk?”

I know it was lack of sleep that caused me to turn to my husband and say, “in our next life, we won’t have kids or dogs and can sleep all the time, but don’t worry, we will still have each other.”  My husband and I have disagreed about our wedding vows before and he claims all he agreed to was until death do us part while I continue to insist we said for all eternity.  So, whenever I say something about our next life, he usually responds, “there ain’t gonna be no next time,” but sleep deprivation worked in my favor this time.

 

When you have adult children come home and stay, it can serve as a reminder to just how old you have gotten and how set in your ways you have become.  It can feel a little like a hurricane blowing in, stirring up your life, and blowing back out again. 

Of course, when I said this out loud, my super competitive daughter responded that if she was a hurricane then I was a tsunami or a tornado, which ever happened to be bigger.  This led to a back and forth discussion about which is worse and ended with me telling her she was a hurrinami and I declared myself the winner of round one with my creative combination of words.  Oh boy, she did not like that one and insisted on involving her father for a final decision and this led to some thinly veiled threats by one of the contestants to make sure the referee knew his life could get much worse if he did not side with the person I had already declared the official winner.   Weirdly enough, all the referee said was for both of us to shut up and he wasn’t going to be able to stand a whole week of these stupid competitions.  Well, I speak husband, so I translated for our daughter and told her at best he said I could be a cyclone, but definitely not a hurricane or a hurrinami and she started laughing and asked if I meant to say Cyclops instead of cyclone.

Poor Fudge and Vern suffered, too.  On Christmas morning, she sprawled out on the sofa with her husband and left no room for two Doodles.  I kept saying if she would make room for the dogs, they would relax and take a nap and Christmas would be better for all.  She, in turn, would extend her legs to the fullest and say there was no room for two huge dogs.  Fudge kept pacing because it was her nap time, but she didn’t want to miss any of the action and so I said, “normally, this is the time of day I put Fudge down for a nap.”  By the reaction I got from her and her husband you would have thought I said I had to change her diaper and put her in her bassinet with her binky. 

They went on and on about “putting Fudge down for a nap,” and asked if I took a nap with her.  “Of course not,” I said, “I use that time to get stuff done around the house,” and one of them said, “like sterilizing their bottles and washing their bibs.” Even my son-in-law chimed in that it seemed weirder for me to put Fudge down for a nap than to just take a nap with her.  I knew there was no reasoning with those couch-hogging knuckleheads, so I just picked Fudge up and tried to rock her to sleep. 

The funny thing is Fudge and Vern were gaga over them despite all their comments about the superiority of their two French Bulldogs over a couple of adorable Doodles.  Fudge tried to get into their room at every opportunity and then I would hear, “it seems like your dog prefers us to you!”  Never one to back down from a challenge, I would call Fudge to me to show how untrue that statement was and Fudge would look at me every time like,  “do I know you?”

 

Vern spent most of the Christmas season guarding our house from the snowman the neighbors had in their yard that lit up at night. 

He takes his guard dog duties very seriously and having two adults in the house who kept going out at night and arriving back home in the middle of the night kept him in a constant state of alertness.  He didn’t let his guard down for one minute and no one was entering the house at 2 am without being formally announced, “Hear ye, hear ye, Megan and Doc are home.”  Frankly, he started announcing even when no one was there just to be sure he didn’t miss anyone trying to sneak in and then my daughter had the nerve to say that he barked a lot and her Frenchies would never carry on like Vern.  Finally, I told her if her Frenchies didn’t bark when two doofuses walked into their house in the middle of the night waking the entire household then she had better trade them in for two Furbies strategically placed by the front door.  At least they might say, “BOO,” when an intruder walked in and pop their eyes open, while her dogs sat by mutely thinking, “are those strangers supposed to be tying mommy and daddy up?”

Once they came home from being out somewhere, she wanted to visit.  We tried to explain we had a no talking to each other policy after 8 pm, but it didn’t stop her from bursting into our bedroom at night.  One night I said, “you had better stop barging into our bedroom because Dad and I could be having wild sex one of these times,” and amongst the laughter, John chimed in that since it wasn’t either of our birthdays she was probably safe.  Then he went on to tell her that she might not even have to worry about my birthday, because the last few years I had been complaining that just once I wished he would get me something I wanted.  All she said was, “gross,” but she didn’t leave.  In fact, one night, she invited her husband into our bedroom and I heard her telling him that I was decent….”yes, she is covered up from head to toe. You won’t see anything scary except her face,” and in he walked.  He apparently wanted to give us the good news that the city closest to us had just been ranked #18 in the 100 most dangerous cities in the U.S.  I tried to explain that when someone is snuggled all warm and safe in her bed she doesn’t  need to hear scary things before trying to fall asleep.

 

I started to imagine all kinds of dangerous scenarios and I told them I was scared that I would be ravaged and pillaged and my own son-in-law said that was the least of my worries.  It was obvious they weren’t taking my fears seriously because when I said, “What if I am at the mall and some man steals me to be his wife and keeps me under his bed in a box?  We have all heard those stories before,” someone, and I can’t be sure which one of them, said, “if you go missing, we will be sure to alert the authorities to start their search with anyone who recently purchased a refrigerator and did not throw out the large box.”

Then I said I had heard that someone was running a scam up at Wal-Mart by putting fake $100 bills under your windshield wiper and when you got out to look they carjacked your car and all John said was, “You drive a stinky minivan. Once they got inside, they would change their minds.” 

 

So, this is what I was dealing with over the Holidays, jokes at my expense and lack of sleep.  I even had to listen to my son-in-law calling my daughter Laurie whenever she started acting all crazy and stressed out.  One time I said, “you can see me, right?  You know I can hear you?” and I told my daughter to say, “thank you so much for the compliment.”  That got them really laughing and my daughter turned to her husband and said, “Knock it off with the insults.” WHAT?? 

 

They flew back home on Sunday.  Our house is quieter.  We are getting more sleep.  Our routine is restored.  The dogs are back to normal and Fudge has decided she is my best friend again.  Everything is as it should be, but for some reason I am sad.  I hate when Christmas is over.  I really miss them.  Go figure.

[Carol and Banjo]

Oh Laurie, I have tears streaming down my face!   Hilarious as always......and of course, I love Vern all the more for keeping you all safe from Sinister Snowmen!

[Deanna & Desi & Cori]

Just wait until Megan and Doc have children!  Then you'll know what a hurrinami really is!!!

Loved (and related to) this entire blog!!  Just the other day, my daughter called me "Wanda" - guess she felt I was being a little too critical - which, of course, I was NOT!!!  And if I really want to metaphorically stab my husband in the heart, all I need to do is call him "Dorothy", may she rest in peace!

Glad you all had a fun Christmas visit!!! 

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

LOL Laurie.....your life needs to be a sitcom....really it DOES.  I do know just what you mean though.  Tim has been gone for the past five days.  He goes to an adult "camp" every year for a five day long New Years Bash.  You know he loves a good party, and he was pretty sure he wasn't going to find it around here.  At first DH and I were thinking this would be kind of a nice "break" for us....no driving him around or cooking his "special meals".  Actually the fact is we really miss him.  It's too quiet.  We've totally run out of things to talk about.  Last night/this morning he called at 12:37 to say Happy New Year....from his party.  Needless to say we were in a sound sleep and had been for a couple of hours.  I was still so happy just to hear his voice....even at that hour.  So I do "get it".....I'm really happy that you had this time with your DD and SIL....special holiday times are the best.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

LOL, Laurie, the grass is always greener... I wish I could have the opportunity to miss my DD!

Seriously, Christmas at your house sounds like a lot of fun! Love and laughter beats sleep any day!

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

My dd departed 12/30 and Rooney is still missing her.  Little rat fink would actually go sleep on her bed and wait for her to come in at night, nice to know I'm second choice!  Sounds like you had a wonderful holiday and that photo of you and Fudge really makes me feel like I was there.  Sadly - no one in my house ever picks up a camera but myself so no cute doodle and Jane photos here. 

[Adrianne Matzkin]

The visual was easy and sadly, not so funny - WOL!!  We used to love the sound of silence when everyone went home even if it was short lived. Even the doodles were happy to go out for some quiet time in their yard but it didn't take long for all us to get depressed. We missed them and the change they made in our boring routine so much.

Be careful what you wish for! Everyone has moved home including Mickey! And I love every second of the tumult!!! 

[F, Calla & Luca]

What a Fun House in all meanings of the term. I think I'll invite myself for the holidays next year so please start working on Fudge's doodle welcoming skills. I believe I read somewhere that you wanted to meet us and it was very quiet here : ) Loved the blog

[Sheila & Finnley]

Oh Laurie, I think we are living parallel lives. Although my daughter didn't make it home for this Christmas this year, I know it would be very similar to your daughters visit. No Frenchies though, just a very big Shepard/Husky mix with an anxiety issue !

Thank you for sharing the fun, and the visit. Love all the blogs you write.

Happy New Year, and hugs to Vern and Fudge !

[Bonnie and Kona]

Wonderful blog, Laurie. I'm so grateful my DD lives with us and our DS is only an hour away for now. I'm hanging on to that gift as long as I can. 

[Christine & Shelby]

Great blog Laurie.... I love reading your blogs and if course hearing all the fun Fudge and Vern stories!!!