I Bought a Food Dehydrator for Fudge and Vern for Valentine's Day!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

My title might be misleading because it looks like I bought Fudge and Vern a Valentine’s Day gift.  I adore my dogs, but I don’t consider them my sweethearts, so getting them an expensive Food Dehydrator for a romantic holiday seems like something that could get me booked on the Maury Povich show.  I would hate to be the first one in my family that winds up on a talk show discussing with Maury what I think are The Ten Most Romantic Gifts You Can Give Your Dog, because someone read this blog and passed my name along to the producers.  What I meant to say is that my husband bought a Food Dehydrator for me for Valentine’s Day to make Fudge and Vern dehydrated treats.  Now, before you think he is the sweetest man alive, he doesn’t know yet that he bought me such a great gift.  In fact, he might not even know Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. The good news for him is that when he realizes on February 13 that he has forgotten all about Valentine’s Day, I can yell, “Surprise!” and tell him I absolutely love my gift this year.  It also saves him the embarrassment we had one year, when he asked me right before Valentine’s Day if I had gotten him anything and when I told him I had, he yelled, “crap,” which led me to believe that he might be doing some last minute shopping.

 

I have to admit I have gotten some awesome gifts with this foolproof method.  Once, I got a Grandfather’s clock.  In all fairness, I gave my husband every chance to be the hero of the story by showing up with the Grandfather’s clock of my dreams.  I took him to the store and dropped a couple of subtle hints, “that is the clock I want,” and “I am going to walk away so you can buy the clock without me seeing and surprise me,” only to turn around and find him right behind me, following me out of the store.  A few days before our anniversary, I mentioned that I had just read an interesting article that said a Grandfather’s clock was the appropriate gift for the anniversary we were celebrating and he smiled, but that year, I got a beautiful bouquet of flowers, but no clock. Finally, I got tired of dropping little hints and leaving sexy notes in his lunch that read, “Stud Muffin, Get me my damn clock,” and finally, went over to the store and put it on layaway.  When I told him the good news, he said he thought we had decided to wait a while to get the clock, and I reminded him that it was going to take 60 days to get it out of layaway.  The funny thing is, now that we have Fudge and Vern, we almost never let the clock chime, because sometimes, in the later hours, the repetitious dinging wakes them up.

 

So, this Valentine’s Day I am getting a dehydrator, which some diehard romantics could say is a sad reflection on the state of my marriage, but I don’t care, because it is exactly what I want.  Who needs shiny baubles and sexy lingerie when you can get a small kitchen appliance instead? It doesn’t matter that I hate to cook either, because for some odd reason, I love kitchen gadgets and anything that raises my expectations in the kitchen, and this dehydrator fits that bill. Not that this has ever happened or that either dog has ever given me any indication that they have a strong desire to eat jewelry, but stranger things have happened, so that is another reason I prefer my gift to something sparkly. Just think, if Fudge or Vern accidentally swallowed my new shiny bauble, I sure wouldn’t consider it a gift that keeps on giving as I was picking through their daily yard deposits to locate my present.  On the other hand, if they were happily eating healthy treats that I made, that would give me real joy, or as my family is going to say, at least for the few times I use my new dehydrator before I realize that Zukes dog treats are a whole lot less work.  Based on my track record with other small kitchen appliances, some members of my family are already placing bets as to when the novelty of my new item wears off and Fudge and Vern go back to eating store bought treats. Also, I had a moment of panic when my daughter asked if my new toy can make any good treats for human family members and I had to remind her, yet again, that she was setting the bar a little high for her beloved mama, but she was welcome to borrow the dehydrator, as long as I wasn’t making something special for Fudge and Vern.  All she said back was, “good luck getting through the instruction manual without my help.”

 

As for the lingerie, at this point in my life, by the time we figured out how to get it on or off, the commercial would be over and our TV show would be back on or one of us would be fast asleep.  My husband is an avid bird watcher, so I have considered getting all dolled up in the bathroom and attaching a pair of giant wings like you see some of the models wearing in the Victoria Secret’s Fashion show, and sashaying out of the bathroom.  I figure as long as my wings don’t get stuck in the doorway, I could sneak up on him and say, “hey handsome, what kind of bird is watching you now?” and hope he doesn’t say back, “a giant Bearded Screech Owl or Dodo Bird,” because that could be a real mood killer. All things considered, I think the Food Dehydrator is the right choice for me this Valentine’s Day, because I know when he hands me my gift and says, “I have no idea what I bought you this year,” I am going to get weak in the knees, and isn’t that exactly the feeling we are all looking for on a romantic holiday?  

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Laurie, I've been thinking.....these guys are SO lucky to have us.  We are always looking out for them.  What are you getting your DH for Valentine's Day?  I'm giving "my guy" the same thing I've always given him....taking him out to dinner.  He hasn't figured out yet that I'm the cook, so who is this generous gesture really for...LOL.  He always seems pretty excited about it though...so why change now. 

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Donna, Once, my friend's husband gave her a bouquet of fake flowers. She hated them. He told her to pretend they were real flowers, so after a couple of days, she threw them out and said they were dead. They are now divorced :) I can give you the phone number where I ordered my dehydrator, it that helps....LOL!!

Allyson, Gosh, I was young and dumb. I never even thought to ask for a PUSH gift. I think he owes me two more gifts now. LOL Wait until I tell him :) Sometimes, they sure make it harder then it has to be, don't they?

Doris, I will look forward to seeing the dress. I will be the lady in jeans holding a dehydrator. LOL

Denise, I have never heard of a cake pop maker. I am going to have to investigate that one. LOL

Jane, We are still waiting for our generator, too. I got a dust buster once for Christmas and I was thrilled...LOL! Yes, I think it is the nice thing to do to go out and get your own gift for Valentine's Day and make it a great one!! Your DH will be thankful!!

Karen, I will probably contribute to that discussion as much as I do the Photography group since I got my new camera. LOL  Happy Valentine's Day to you, too!

Nicky, Take that bull by the horn and shout, "I want a Dehydrator or the French Maid quits for good!" LOL That just might get you that dehydrator. In the meantime, I hope he sees the post and takes the hint :)

[Camilla and Darwin]

Laurie, that is a really epic name for a food dehydrator. LOL

[Camilla and Darwin]

I would definitely choose the option on the left. :-) As usual your post cracked me up!

[Donna K & Quincy]

Funny thing about the clock, my inlaws used to have one, the first thing we did when we went to visit was stop the clock. Romance will never die as long as we can shop for ourselves. My DH is the manager of a nursery and garden center that also has a floral dept, I will probably get flowers, while they will be nice, I equate them as being the same as me giving him bandages for Valentines. Heck, he calls it Valentimes for pete's sake. I like the dehydrator idea, I was going to ask Santa for one but I had exceeded my limit. There does come a time when we give up beauty for comfort,three cheers for granny panties. :>)

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

I am a sucker for jewelry - I have told DH a million times (just to get it in his head so he doesn't have to ask when the time finally comes) that I want my grandma's ring (that used to have a diamond in it - now it's around my neck) replaced with a sapphire for my PUSH gift when we finally have a baby.  He knows where it is - I literally will open my top drawer with jewelry in it and say "here's that ring...all it needs is the center stone"...that's not even a subtle hint!  I have only been married 4 years and I know how to get what I want. One day (probably not too far from now) I will just buy it, wrap it and tell him to give it to me :)  Sweet guy gave me a bracelet he picked out on his own for xmas...well, I don't wear it much and feel badly about it.  But by now, he should know my taste, right? Wait, no....he's a man.

Thanks for the laugh!  And I hope you use that dehydrator :)

[Doris, Knox & Flash]

I just told my DH yesterday that I had already purchased my Valentine gift.  Mine happens to be a dress (a pretty fancy one, lol) to wear to our local Heart Ball.  That's just one way to justify spending what I did on it...you know, you can't wear the same dress twice, lol.  Expect to see it on the cruise! 

[Denise & Hunter!!!]

I am laughing so hard I am in TEARS!!!!  I have a thing for kitchen gadgets that I never use either, a food dehydrator has been on my wish list - maybe when I get the cake-pop maker out of the box I bought 2 months ago I can justify the dehydrator!!

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Laurie, this foolproof method has worked for me for many, many years.  It's truly a "win win".  DH doesn't have to think or shop.  I get exactly what I want.  I'm a little concerned that this year my DH is going to play the "generator" card for Valentine's Day.  You may remember that was my XMAS present (at my request).  Well we've been on a waiting list since December and it is apparently a pretty big installation job....plumbers and electricians required for a full day.  Since the actual installation isn't until early March, I'm kind of thinking DH might suggest that this is ALSO my Valentine's Day gift.  That will not fly.  I'm thinking I'll need to shop this weekend because I wouldn't want him to be without a gift for the wife who does everything for him (LOL) and feel really bad about it.  I will not be picking out a Food Dehydrator though.....I made it clear years ago kitchen appliances are necessities NOT gifts....that was after he got me the vacuum cleaner for XMAS.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Well, I have to say that I personally would much rather have jewelry, but I am thrilled to hear that you will soon be contributing your dehydrator tips and recipes to our Food Group dehydrator discussion, Laurie!

Here's the link:  http://www.doodlekisses.com/group/thefoodgroup/forum/topics/dehydra...

Looking forward to your first post! And Happy Valentine's Day!