It's So Hard To Be Murphy

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I think just about everyone knows about our journey with Murphy...the training and behavior therapy to help him manage through his reactiveness and aggression.  Well I think we're through the outward manifastation of his fear and insecurities....no more horrible barking, lunging and "freaking out" on walks when he sees other people or dogs.  Over the past few weeks we've been seeing some new behaviors that make me feel almost worse.  Murphy has now been trained to know not to "react" to other dogs, but that doesn't mean they still aren't very frightening (or if not fear whatever the intense emotion is) to him.  So now when we see another dog we pull him off to the side and allow him to look, but defer his attention to me and treats, and affection.  He does it...and he actually looks away from the other dog now on his own.  The really sad part of it all is that he's so uncomfortable that he shakes and lately he has diarrhea within a few minutes of passing the other dog.  My guy is internalizing this horribly stressful experience for him, and it makes me feel so awful.  Today was a particularly difficult day for him, and it was all about one fluffy white dog who for some reason made him very uncomfortable.  Once he saw this dog (and we worked through it without a reaction) he could never again relax for the rest of the walk.  He was totally stressed and his body was stiff so that we just took him back to the car and came home.  I really don't think there are any more new "miraculous" answers for my Murph than what we've been able to learn and implement over the past year or two....just on some days my heart breaks to see what he struggles with.  I sometimes think it would be better to just keep him home where he never is stressed, but I know that's no answer.  Just venting...

[Joanna, Zoe & Bender]

oh Murphy! this makes me so sad that you shake and have diarrhea :(  I hope some day that you will be comfortable as I hope for my Bender.  

[Jennifer,Chloe & Myla]

So sorry to hear this after all you guys have been through. Pulling at my heart strings-praying things turn around for you Murph! You are doing an extraordinary job Jane!

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

Jane - first you ARE the best doodle Mom and Murphy is so lucky to have you!  I wish there was some miracle for Murphy and for you but sadly we know that is not the case.  So I'm looking at your last sentence and thinking to myself - why NOT keep him home (as much as is possible) where he isn't stressed?  Murphy is happy because you love him and care for him - as long as he gets his exercise - why not keep him home?  While many dog owners love to take their dogs to places, events, etc - not every dog is happy doing so.  Maybe I'm way off base but sometimes there just is no way to get that square peg in the round hole.  :)

[Anna and Achilles]

Poor Murphy, that is a tough one!

[Deanna & Desi & Cori]

My heart aches for both Murphy and you.  As a person who has suffered with panic attacks and generalized anxiety, I can imagine what Murph may be feeling - and it's not fun!!  You are an awesome doggie mom for all you've done to help Murph, but some things (like brain chemistry) are so difficult to to deal with.  Letting him be a "stay at home" doggie may not be a bad idea.

[Bonnie and Kona]

Bless your heart, Jane. I hope you and Murphy figure a way to peace for your big dear boy. I forgot he has IBS too. :(

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

OMD, thanks again...you are all such great friends!  The problem we ran into with the meds is that they irritated his IBS.  We played with the dose to try to get to a point where it would take the edge off but not cause the nausea and diarrhea.  I finally decided at the end that it was just making his tummy feel way too yucky and that's when I weaned him.  It was always meant to be short term while we worked through the rest of the program, and it definitely did help.  He isn't reacting and a danger anymore....it's just that he's internalizing.  I took him to the Vet yesterday to have his anal glands expressed, and my regular vet wasn't there.  I have an appointment with Guinness for his regular annual exam next week so I'll talk to her and see what she thinks.

[Carol and Banjo]

I'm just reading this now Jane.....so very, very sorry.  I can just imagine how sad this makes you feel.  I can only echo what Joanne and a few others have suggested re: the possibility of medication.   I'm sure you've considered this.   Please vent any time.....so many of us love Murphy and continue to hope for the best for him (and you!).   Big HUGS to both of you!

[Doris, Knox & Flash]

Jane, I'm reading this blog a bit later than most and really don't have any advice.  I know you and I know this is hurting you and I hate that.  There is no one that knows what's right for Murphy except for you and I know that you will do whatever you have to to make sure that Murphy has as good of a life as possible. You remain the best mom ever, IMHO!!  Hugs to all of you!

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

Jane, I'm sorry to hear this. So very sorry.  Would you consider a low dose of his meds again?  They did make him feel so much better.  There really is no shame in any of this and no dog will label him nuts  :)   If it makes him love life more, enjoy a walk with you more, makes his heart a little bit more at peace... well it is worth a try.

Bless you, Murphy.  Huge Hugs from me