My Version of the Movie, Groundhog Day!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Lately I have been starring in my own version of the movie, Groundhog Day. If you haven’t seen the movie I can sum it up for you very quickly. It was about a weatherman sent to cover the annual Groundhog Day event in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, and somehow ends up in a time warp and keeps repeating the same day over and over again.  I really never understood why anyone would leave it up to a rodent to predict the weather, but I do know that once my sister attended a Groundhog Day party and they had cookies shaped like groundhogs to eat.  I remember when she told me about the refreshments and seemed far more excited than I thought was reasonable and how I listened to her entire monologue and then said, “Why are you such a doofus?”

 

The reason I am bringing all of this up is because lately my life has been just like the movie except in place of a groundhog I have two Doodles and a husband.  Every single night at bedtime we go through the same routine and no matter how many times I mention that the routine is not working, it continues as if I am also trapped in a time warp.

 

Usually in the evenings Fudge and I watch TV back in my bedroom and John and Vern stay out in the living room.  Around ten and almost always at the end of a great show, Vern comes back to the bedroom and stares at me.  What he wants is anyone’s guess and he has the remarkable ability to time his walk by to when it is the least convenient for me to get up and help him.  At this point I like to say very loudly, “Go tell daddy what you want!”  Sometimes I repeat my request in the hopes that Vern didn’t hear me the first time as he continues to stare at me or hope maybe my loud voice will break the trance John is obviously in in the living room and he will come and get Vern.  That never happens.  What does happen is I get up with Vern and thus begins our nightly ritual called “What does Vern want?”

 

I always start with his water dish, which is usually bone dry.  I spend half my day filling up the dog’s water dish.  The weird thing is they have two water dishes, but both of them only seem to drink from the one on the right.  I have switched the bowls after cleaning and they still always prefer the one on the right.  Vern is a big drinker.  If you fill his water dish in front of him, he is driven to thank you by drinking all the fresh water you just gave him and making sure by the obnoxious sounds he makes doing it that you know he enjoyed every drop.  My mom is like Vern in that she is nuts about her water.  She has the nurses at her care facility jumping through hoops to fill her water cup “just right” with ice and water and then it is either too heavy for her to lift or too light because it isn’t full enough.  I have actually had to pour some of the water out and God help you if you pour too much and miss the invisible fill line that only mom can see.  I am about ready to buy her a canteen to keep around her neck, but then I would have to spend my time at our visits filling and emptying that canteen until I got the water level just right.  Suggestions like “couldn’t you just take some sips and get the water down to where you want it?” might render the same response I got when I told her I wanted Archer to call me Lolly and John Pop, so we would be Lolly Pop.  She looked right at me and said, “Laurie, you are some kind of stupid!”  It isn’t always fun to visit a 90-year-old woman without a filter.

 

It isn’t that I mind filling the dog’s water dish, it is just that I mind that no one else seems to notice when it is empty. It is like emptying the dishwasher to me, which has caused more fights in our house than any psychiatrist would deem healthy.  I just don’t know why I am the only one who has to do it. The clean light on the dishwasher that says the dishes are clean and the empty water dish are like flashing neon lights to me that say, “take care of this NOW!”  To everyone else in the family it must say, “leave area quickly and prepare flimsy excuse for not completing task.” And trust me when I say, I have heard some great excuses.  Once, John said he didn’t empty the dishwasher because he was afraid it would wake me up and unless I set the full trash bag directly on top of the stove on the day he makes himself eggs for breakfast the trash is not getting to the trash can by his hands.  Even then, I would be afraid we might have a fire when he turned the gas burner on and claimed he never saw the trash bag.

 

So, every night, I begin with Vern’s water dish and almost always find it empty and when I comment that Vern doesn’t have any water I never feel it gets the reaction I think it should.  Most of the time I get one OK or a vacant “I have no idea what you just said” look and no one ever jumps up to get Vern his water.  Sometimes it is water that Vern wants, other times he walks over to the treat bowl and stares at it willing me to get him a treat.  Usually he has to go out and I often think he comes to me because I am the only one who even notices his stare.  All of these things pale in comparison to the routine we go through night after night when John comes to bed. 

 

Like I said, Fudge and I might be watching TV or we might both be asleep when John comes to bed.  There is no fanfare or lollygagging going on when John decides it is bedtime. He walks around to his side of the bed and pushes anything on his side over and hops in.  I could be in the middle of paying bills or downloading pictures from my camera and just like that it’s all closer to me than it needs to be.  And then I wait because I know Vern is coming and sure enough, it is never long and Vern is standing at my side of the bed doing his stare thing.  So, just for fun, I always ask, “did you take Vern out before you came to bed?”  The responses can vary from “ I didn’t know he had to go out “ to “He was sleeping and didn’t have to go out” but what all the responses mean are John’s part is done and Laurie’s is just beginning.  And so it begins. I start at the water dish, which will be dry, and then move on to the front door to let Vern out. If I am lucky, Fudge will wake up and go out, too.  If I am not lucky, she will feign sleep until I get back in bed and then time her “up button” to the moment I get back in bed. All this is happening while John is enjoying his Kindle!  In all fairness to John, I think we both know Vern is going to come get me even if John routinely took the dogs out before bedtime.  I think it is Vern’s way of having me “tuck him in.” About thirty minutes after this whole thing started and right after I give them their final treat of the night, I am back in bed.  I am almost positive right before I fall to sleep, I can hear my mom’s voice saying, “Laurie, you are some kind of stupid!”

[Nancy and Georgia Brown]

That's one of my all time favorite movies.

And seeing your bedtime routine, I think I have it pretty easy. Georgia has the bladder of a camel, and she poops and pees on schedule. So if she is let out around 6 or 7 in the evening when I get home and after she is fed, she's good till at least 7 in the morning. I often have to drag her out of bed for our morning trip to the dog park. I think I got lucky.

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Oh, we play the "stare" game every night here too. Or I should say I play it as DH seems to be oblivious to it. Tara stares and it will escalate into a low deep growl that sounds like it is coming from someone else's dog. It could mean anything from wanting to play to needing to go outside or wanting a back rub or a treat. I wish Doggy Dan taught people how to read dogs minds! 

[F, Calla & Luca]

I love your mom. This was a great example of The Little Red Hen, remember we went through that story, only you don't get a reward at the end :-( Miss you.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

At my house, our version of Vern's empty water bowl was the empty toilet paper holder. I couldn't help feeling a little bit proud that I was apparently the only person in a family of four who was smart enough to figure out how to change the roll. You might consider thinking about filling Vern's water bowl that way. :D

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Jane. We would love to have you visit :) I guess our dogs just know who is susceptible to that darn stare. It drives me nuts because I can't concentrate on anything else when he does it. 

Gail, LOL....thankfully, Vern does not make me hold his water as he slurps it all over the place. I would say Bailey is living the good life.

[Gail and Bailey]

Laurie, if you are "some kind of stupid" then I must be "ALL kinds of stupid" ! Bailey not only stares but punctuates it with intermittent sharp single barks, until I get up to see what she wants. Usually there IS water in her big bowl but she wants me to get fresh ice cold water from the refrigerate and hold it for her while she slowly laps it and looks into my eyes. But I don't think I have spoiled her......do you??

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

LOL....Murph is my "starer".  He usually just wants me to play with him, and he will stare at me until I do...no matter how long it takes.  He knows I will eventually succumb to the staring....and strangely I'm the only one that he does this to.  I think I must be "some kind of stupid" too.  I love your Vern stories...someday I would so love to meet that guy.