One Wingnut Too Many

[Donna K & Quincy]

We all know that men are not known for reading directions and my DH is no exception. We bought a new barbecue grill with some assembly required. The instructions said 'easy assembly' but the person who wrote that had obviously not met my DH.

I try not to get involved in these things but as inevitably happens I get sucked into helping. Now helping to assemble a barbecue was not in my plans at 9:30 in the evening but DH just had to put that barbecue together tonight. I stayed out of the way until I was paged for the first time, "Lend me your glasses, I can't see where this piece goes".

 So I look at the diagram, show him where the mystery piece belongs and go back to DK. I might have known it was too good to be true and sure enough a few seconds later, "Can you come here and give me a hand"? Another look at the diagram and a point to the appropriate spot for the piece he was holding and I tried to get away again, but luck was not on my side. I finally gave in and just helped him out.

Finally the whole thing was assembled and DH proudly announced, "It's all done and I only have a few pieces left over". Now I don't know a lot about assembling things but it's not dinner and I am pretty sure there aren't supposed to be 'leftovers' . What do you have left I asked? "Some screws and two wingnuts" he said. "No you're wrong I said, there are three wingnuts". "No there are only two" he said with a somewhat puzzled look on his face and two wingnuts in his hand. "Yes, there are three wingnuts and the third one is holding the other two".

 He finally clued in and I read the directions to see where the wingnuts belonged and he finished the task. I took one look at the assembled barbecue and asked just one question. " How are you planning to get that outside, it is too big to fit through the door"? So out comes the screwdriver and the barbecue is partially disassembled again to get it out the door. Now he just had to fire it up to see how hot it would get and only burned two fingers in the process because for some inexplicable reason the electric start didn't work.

Well, the barbecue is all assembled and working with only one wingnut left over and since I've been married to him for 34 years I guess I'm stuck with him.

We just built a new front deck with an immense amount of help from my brother. This weekend DH and I have to figure out how to put a railing around it, that should be a load of fun. I think about then I'll ready for a good game of Whack a Wingnut.

 

[Jarka, Monty & Auggie]

That's just hilarious. Thanks for the laugh. I have no idea what the matter is with males. There must have been some leftover parts after their assembly...uhm, like a brain, for example.  When my DH offers to do something around the house, I'm very sure that I would get called few minutes into the task. My DH got used to me calling him "Uncle Podger" after a story in Jerome K. Jerome's "Three Men in a Boat".If you read it, you will understand and see that all men are really the same.

  http://www.literaturecollection.com/a/jerome/three-men-boat/3/

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

Oh so funny!!!!  My dh is the exact same way but about 10 minutes into the project - there are words being said that I can't repeat here.  This is why I pay more and have someone else do the assembly.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

My DH is the same way, and it amazes me that we're still together after some of the projects that we've tackled that turned into disasters.  After almost 30 years we decided for the sake of our sanity to move to the condo where we have a "handyman" who for a few extra $ is willing to do all kinds of "assembly" work.  We also have a son-in-law who is just naturally handy.  As a matter of fact he will be coming over to plaster up the huge holes that DH put in the wall to install a dog gate that pulled right out of the wall landing with a loud crash on the hardwood floor the first week and gave Murphy a lifelong fear of all gates (which I have actually used to my advantage).  Thanks for sharing your "DH story"....it seems they're all alike.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Donna, I loved your blog and my favorite part was that he assembled it with no idea how it was going to fit through the door. I assemble NOTHING and I never read directions, so I guess I am a Wing Nut, too....LOL!! I hope he cooks you something wonderful on that new grill!!!

[F, Calla & Luca]

Karen, do not even think about a DH. If needed get a pre-assembled floor model or hire a handyman. Then you don't have to keep the extra wing nut. Of course if you've have him for decades no doubt you grow fond of him but that's a long time slog : )

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Hilarious, Donna! I too loved that it had to be partially taken apart again to get it outside, but you probably found that less amusing!

I recently sent back a steam mop I ordered on-line because, unbeknownst to me at the time of ordering, assembly was required, and between the four thousand unrecognizable pieces, the instruction manual with the unreadable tiny print and incomprehensible diagrams, and the poor grasp of the English language on the part of the author, it would have been easier for me to clean the floor with a tea kettle than assemble that mop.  At the time, I was wishing I had a DH to do it for me, but after readin this blog, I'm not so sure.

PS: I also very much appreciate your last graphic. :)

[Camilla and Darwin]

LOL! DH and I struggle with IKEA furniture, so we definitely couldn't handle a bbq. :-)

[BG and Gavin]

On the positive side, with a new bbq, maybe you will get a break from cooking for a while?

[Bonnie and Kona]

Oh goodness... assembled and too big to fit through the doorway. I think professionals write comedy sketches about these occurrences! Too funny! I hope the railing goes well today or it could be a long, long weekend. 

[F, Calla & Luca]

OMD. Loved this. But you do have to admit sometimes the directions are not written in the King's English. In fact sometimes they make little sense at all. But the best part is that it didn't fit through the door : )