Opposite of Wonderful Week!l

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I am jumping on the bandwagon and hoping to get a blog in edgewise.

 

Have you ever had one of those weeks that if you had to go back and do it again you absolutely wouldn’t?  Well, this has been my week and I would like to exchange it for a better week.  In the scheme of things, it wasn’t any one moment that made it bad, but a series of annoyances that have added up and because I rarely suffer in silence, I am going to share it here.  I love going to the movies, but at times feel as if I should be the girl in the plastic bubble because almost everyone in the theater gets on my nerves.  The other day I decided to go to Tammy and have a laugh.  I always arrive early and rush into the theater like I am going to have to fight someone for a good seat.  More times than not, I am the first person in the theater and then I text Megan and we have a bit of a running gag going when I tell her I am alone in a darkened theater and I hope someone doesn’t come in and try and have his way with me. She always responds that I am safe and anyone with those thoughts would walk in the theater, look around, lock eyes on me, and decide to go next door. 

 

The thing about being alone is you have lots of time for observation and studying people.  Many times, I will say to John that I wish I had the nerve to go up to someone and ask him or her what they were thinking.  For instance, if there were only two other people in the movie, why would you sit directly in front of them?  Or why when I am the only person at the movie do you have to sit in the same row as me?  That happened at Tammy when first three girls came up and sat by me and then another woman walked in and sat in the same row.  There we were…the only five people there all lined up in a row.  Why? I have lots of these kinds of questions. The older I get the more questions I have and the more things irk me. I come from a long line of irked people and my mom happens to be the queen. She can go on and on about her Bridge game and how this man coughed too much, or that woman bids too slowly, or someone else arrived late, and I understand just what she is saying.  Things bother us that don’t bother most other people. Our morning conversations are rarely about the great weather or our happy experiences, but almost always start off with, “you are never going to believe this one.” I get just as mad at the woman who parks right next to my car when the whole parking lot is empty, or the talkers/paper crinklers/commentators/loud eaters and ice shakers who almost always find their way next to me in a movie, as my mother does about the woman who has 35 items in the 10 items or less line at Wal-Mart.

 

Since I have gotten Fudge and Vern I have a whole new list of things that irk me.  When I am out on a walk with my dogs, I really just want to be left alone.  When I pull up to the park and see lots of people, I usually get mad that they don’t know this is our time to walk undisturbed.  If we have docked our boat at some place on the water, I really don’t want you to drive your boat by slowly to show your dog our dogs. The loud barking you hear and the desperate cries of “be quiet” mean we are not enjoying your drive by.  If I am out on the water on a paddleboard with a nine year old, do you really have to bring your pontoon boat within five feet of me when the whole lake is wide open?   And I know better to bring up more bad driver stories because A) I am getting a reputation as an aggressive driver and B) if John has taught me anything, it’s that people tune out repetitive stories.  

 

Most weeks, I can laugh it all off and make a sarcastic joke like you can lead a man to the dog’s water dish, but you can’t make him refill it, but this week there was no quick witted repartee after our power went out.  We had a very brief storm on Tuesday night that took our power out.  There were no downed branches, no anything ominous, just a few thunder rumblings, a lot of rain in a short amount of time, and a little wind.  I judge wind by my five­­-foot rooster.

Here is my cock-eyed optimist!

If it is still standing when I open the door after a storm, then we are good.  In my opinion, every meteorologist should have a five-foot cock-a-doodle-do and refer to it often when predicting the wind. My chanticleer is upright, which means the winds are blowing from the south.  I think this would work much better than color coded charts and maps and arrows pointing this way and thataway to mimic the wind. So, anyways, imagine my surprise when this rather mild storm knocked out our power and it stayed out for 24 hours.  Nothing ruins a week for me like lost power.  NOTHING.  I admit I go a little nutso and truthfully, John should take me to the hospital and ask them to put me into a medically induced coma until the power comes back on.  Nothing anyone says makes me feel better and just a simple, “how are you doing?” might have me screaming, “THE POWER IS OUT, IDIOT!  Later, after the power comes back on, they like to tell me they only went for a priest, holy water, and a cross after my head started spinning around, I started spewing green slime, and was calling myself Regan MacNeil.  

Get the power back on NOW and nobody gets hurt!

Today, things looked brighter. The house was cool again. The TV worked. I could flush the toilet and get water from the tap.  My hopes were high as I left the house to walk the dogs.  I was feeling so fine, I called my friend to wish her a Happy Birthday and then it happened.  A groundhog ran out from behind a tree right in front of my dogs and because I was on the phone and did not have both hands on their leashes, they were too strong for me and rather than do a face plant, I let go of the leashes and watched as they ran into the cornfield without me. Panic ensued, some name calling other than Fudge and Vern, and every command I could think of came out of my mouth in a volume that could break glass. Despite my extreme fear of snakes, I stepped into that cornfield, looked around for two bad dogs, and exited only to find Fudge nearby.  Vern came flying out soon afterward without a groundhog and the walk was over because my heart rate was already at a dangerous level. I learned today not to walk dogs and talk on the phone at the same time.  I took the dogs home and decided it was a day to take a chance and go to the movies.  Maleficent, I told the movie clerk, and I verified the pronunciation, unlike the time my mom boldly walked up to the box office, without a clue, and asked for one ticket to see Pen-A-Lope, when she meant Pe-nel-o-pe.  I decided to call a truce for the rest of the week with fate and was sure we were in agreement, especially after I discovered I had the whole theater to myself.  See, nothing I do bugs me and Megan has assured me time and time again I am safe from a desperate band of marauders. It all seemed perfect right up until the time I took a sip of my Root Beer only to discover I had been given Dr. Pepper instead.  I plan on remaining hopeful for a great end to my week despite the fact that it is storming outside and the lights just flickered.

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

Well, I haven't read all the responses here so if I repeat something someone already brought up, oops, my bad, however, I have to say that I really thought John was a smart man from all the stories you have told (or maybe that was the ones I've heard from others who have met him).  So, what I can't figure out here is after all these years I cannot believe the man hasn't gotten a whole house generator for just these moments.

[Camilla and Darwin]

Nooo what a terrible week you've had! I'm sure next week will be full of soft pretzels, lottery wins and relaxing naps. :-)

[Julie, Eloise & Beasley]

Oh, and fantastic blog as always!  :)  Now I've gone and irked myself for forgetting what I meant to say.  lol 

[Julie, Eloise & Beasley]

I, too, come from a long line of irked people. (Love that line, along with chanticleer!)  Anymore, it seems that I find so much of the general public irksome in some way...and it's getting worse each year, and I long for a plastic bubble or a forcefield or idiot-repellant-spray or something.  Irked or not, sounds like you had an extraordinarily sucky week.  The power outage alone is enough to make me lose my mind, and if I ever take a sip of my Coke and it's Diet Coke?!  Oh, it's like I've been poisoned! 

Here's to a much better week - complete with electricity, no space invaders and always the correct drink order.  (Seriously, how hard is it to get the drink order right?!)

[Pat and Traveler]

Hilarious, Laurie!  I know about not paying attention and the dog seeing some prey animal.  I was distracted by some lovely plants while we were walking the other day, and Trav spotted a running cat before I did.  He was off like a shot, yanking the leash out of my hand.  The cat escaped easily, but I was a nervous wreck.  And--I need my personal space too.  Enjoyed every word of the blog.  :)

[Stella]

Sorry you have had a poopy week, but you have cheered me up as usual with your wonderful blog!!

[Bonnie and Kona]

OMD Nancy! That's awful! I'm so glad that you have both cards but the process has been ridiculous!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

PS - that credit card business. . .   The bank swore that Skip's had not and would not be sent until I called.  I didn't trust them = good thing - Skip's arrived today - the envelope thrown on our front porch.  I will activate them now because I won't have to worry about it sitting in Mail Hold, but WTD????  Maybe I should just charge all kind of  doodle pretties and swear to them that the card they didn't send, didn't arrive?

[Bonnie and Kona]

My favorite line...liquid spurting out of my nose funny..."I come from a long line of irked people". The whole blog was wonderful but each line has a special tilt to it. Love your blogs.

My mother is as sweet and gentle as anyone can be but as her cognitive impairment increases she is becoming more irked. Unfortunately I got my irkedness from my dad.... He is perpetually irked. His cognitive impairment medication has quieted his irk quite a bit though. hmmm? I need to forearm my family. 

You have had a rough week by anyone's standards. I think the weathermen will be investing in cocks after reading this. It seems utterly ridiculous that your power would go off if the cock is up. Seems the opposite would be true. xo

[Anne & Mr. Haley]

Laurie, I feel your pain regarding space invasion and power outages.  Yesterday we had a mother of a thunderstorm and the power went off at lunchtime.  I could not open the fridge so I found some canned things in the pantry only to realize I could not use the electric can opener and we no longer have a manual one. So I had to go to town to get something to eat.  Couldn't wait the 2+ hours it would take the co-op to get the electricity back on.  My new tablet had arrived just before the storm and due to the lightening I had to unplug it.  Life in the country.