Tell Me Again What a Bully Stick Is?

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

We recently had quite the discussion on DoodleKisses and I would like to share some of my thoughts on the situation.  It all started when Ricki (and Tara) posted that she received some buggy bully sticks.  We have had many discussions about bully sticks but I believe this is the first time someone talked about their order coming with bugs in the bag.  As I write, I am starting to feel like saying, “Peter Piper picked a pack of pretty purple peppers,” only changing it up to say, “Beware of bags with buggy bully sticks!”  Try saying that three times quickly.

 

As almost always happens when we have a bully stick discussion, someone asks what a bully stick is and straws are drawn behind the scenes and the loser gets to answer.  Not really, but it isn’t hard to imagine the questioner’s face when they read the answer, “Beef Pizzle” and while they are still thinking this sounds like something their dog might like, they read on to find out that beef pizzle is really just a nicer name for bull penises.  I like the sound of pizzle much better than penis. It reminds me of Snoop Dog’s fo’shizzle, which is just a cooler way of saying for sure.  It also reminds me of when our daughters were younger and Hayley wanted help with her homework assignment. 

 

Timing was never Hayley’s forte and for years I would tell her to just let me take my shoes off after work before she hit me up with anything bad.   I used to think she liked the sound of me yelling, because just as I would finally sit down to relax, she might say,  “I forgot to tell you. I need cupcakes for tomorrow!”  I often worried that the neighbors might call the police as the sound of my voice yelling, “I TOLD YOU TO ONLY VOLUNTEER ME FOR PAPER PRODUCTS” followed by, “I forgot,” reverberated around the neighborhood. One night Hayley needed help with her homework and brought it to the dinner table.  Imagine our surprise when the first question out of her mouth was, “what is gonorrhea?”  To our credit, John and I did not spit out our food, but Megan, who has always been too smart for her own good, started chanting, “Hayley has gonorrhea!” 

 

Growing up, my mom insisted on daily devotions at the dinner table after supper and I’ve got kids asking about venereal diseases for a homework assignment.   Hayley was adamant that even though she didn’t know what it was, she didn’t have it, and wanted Megan to be quiet.  We all wanted Megan to be quiet and in retrospect, we should have insisted Hayley put her homework aside until after dinner, but we were never that smart.   Because of our stupidity and Hayley’s persistence to get that homework done, over the course of that questionnaire and our dinner, Megan enjoyed the time of her life chanting that her sister had genital warts, crabs, and syphilis. 

 

You never see anything like that on Little House on the Prairie, and it wouldn’t be the first or last time we regretted telling our kids that they could talk to us about anything.   Unfortunately, Hayley wasn’t done and to this day I don’t know if this was an actual question or she just wanted to know, but she asked what were some other names for penis.  Before John and I could ask what the heck class was she taking, Megan rattled off a litany of responses, ending with a one-eyed snake.  Until that day we had no idea Megan was the walking, talking Thesaurus for the word penis.  And here is where being a parent was hard for me, because Megan could always make me laugh and I would lose all credibility when I told her I didn’t like the way she was talking and to stop it immediately.   John was no better in these situations and we finally had to ask Hayley to put aside her homework until after dinner and Megan had left the premises.

 

The point I am trying to make is if the question you asked was what are some other names for bull penises, the answers would be beef pizzle and bully sticks, and I can hear Megan chanting, “you like beef pizzle, fo’ shizzle!”  And if you are wondering who came up with this idea, I don’t know the answer and I don’t even want to think about the first guy who said, “Let’s see if Rover likes chewing on these dried bull penises.” Is there a bull penis handler somewhere whose job it is to remove the penises and what could he/she possibly answer on a questionnaire that asked about their occupation?  Can you imagine if some young entrepreneur showed up on Shark Tank and pitched this idea to the panel?  I am betting he/she would be shown the door so quickly, they wouldn’t have time to add, “but dogs love them!”

 

The thing is dogs do love them. They can be stinky and gross and all the things that humans hate, but when you are dealing with a puppy and those sharp teeth, they can be a godsend.  I could throw one in Fudge’s mouth as she came at me with those shark’s teeth and have a temporary reprieve from being her chew toy.  In those days I was willing to try anything and John is lucky she was happy with a bull penis.  I am not saying I was desperate enough to turn into Laurie Bobbitt, but when Vern came along and started teething I had no problem putting Fudge in his path and really didn’t care what part he chewed on her as long as it was not attached to me.

 

A couple of people questioned in that discussion whether or not bully sticks were addictive, because it is all their dog wants to chew on.  I won’t name names (Tara) but I think the bugs might be God’s way of helping her get off those things before she ends up in some kind of program like BSA….Bully Sticks Anonymous.  I was one of the lucky ones. Fudge and Vern can no longer handle the pizzles.  It gives them runny stools and so we banned them long ago.  Long before we had to deal with buggy bags, BSA, and the thought that the adorable dogs we love and kiss are chewing on one. Bugs and bully sticks do not go together, any more than dinner conversation and venereal disease’s homework.

[DJ & Chance]

OMD, speechless, Laurie. LOL LOL LOL LOL

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

And that's hard to do, Laurie.  :-}

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Nancy. I left you speechless :)

F, LOL

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Bwhahahaha!  No comments from me on this one. Giggle giggle.

[F, Calla & Luca]

Donna, I'm glad none of your mice have made it to my house. Even with the dehydrated size of appendages I would have to move.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Leslie, You and Ricki are on the same page. She mentioned swizzle sticks, too. Pizzle casserole....yes, that does sound good. LOL

Karen, Donna, and Joani, LOL...I had a comment, but Donna's is better :)

Lori, Glad I could help! Thank you!

Thanks, Jenny. It finally cooled down here!

[Leslie and Halas]

Laurie, it's so versatile! Besides soup, I'm sure you could make a lovely casserole out of it. Or maybe it could be used as a swizzle stick in a nice Fall beverage!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I think those are before they are dehydrated. :) 

[Donna K & Quincy]

Judging by this photo we've been buying mouse pizzles.

[Joani, Skadi & Elli]

Hey I looked at that link Leslie posted and I was puzzled about the pizzles I have in my house...none of mine have ever been this thick...my dogs and me want to know if we are missing something...