That Time of Year Again!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I haven’t been on DK much lately, because I am up to my ears in Christmas decorations. Everywhere I look in my house, I see boxes, Santas, angels, gingerbread, or snowmen. It appears as if I have never walked into a Christmas shop without saying to myself, “I need one of everything!”  For some odd reason, all this chaos and clutter only makes me want to go out and see what else is new for Christmas. On Saturday, Hayley and I went to a Hallmark Open House for the Holidays.  I know many people feel it is too soon to start thinking about Christmas, but in our house getting our Christmas stuff up usually happens much sooner than the second weekend of November.  It just makes sense to me since I get company for Thanksgiving and don’t want to spend December working hard to get all of our Christmas up only to take it down a few weeks later.  I wish I could say I just put up one tree and that is that, but that would be a true travesty and a slap in the face to all the Holiday crap I have accumulated over the years.  We are a very traditional family, even though our traditions are not exactly the same as those you see on the Hallmark channel.

 

Traditionally, on the day we get our Christmas decorations down, things go from happy to mad rather quickly.  Usually, I wake up and turn to John and say, “today is the day we get our decorations down,” and he adopts what I like to call his “deer in the headlights” look and says, “no, it isn’t.” 

I always try to warn him the week before, but he still insists on pretending this is the first he has heard of any of this stuff.  This step normally gets repeated several times, before he realizes I am not going to take no for an answer.  At this point, he moves to his “delay tactics” and begins to sip his coffee so slowly that there is no possible way when he gets to the bottom of the cup it is still warm.  I do have to give him credit for his acting abilities as he makes several half-hearted, exaggerated, attempts at blowing on it in a desperate attempt to convince me he can’t be rushed when it comes to his hot coffee.  Sometimes, I say something witty like, “and the Oscar goes to John for his role in pretending Some Like it Hot,” and sometimes I cut to the chase and yell, “MOVE IT!! Your coffee break is over!” 

 

Next, we head for the garage and despite the reminders I have issued throughout the week, it is at that moment when he realizes the garage needs to be organized and swept before he can start bringing any boxes down.  This is just another delay tactic in my book and traditionally it is at this point that I start threatening in a holiday kind of way….”get up in the attic now and start handing down boxes, or I’m going to turn two Christmas balls black and blue.”  Sometimes, if I can locate my Elf microphone I even sing a little, made-up ditty… “Deck the halls with slowpoke’s  balls…fa la la la la la la la la….tis the season right after Fall…fa la la la la la la la la…the next time “hurry up” is spoken…fa la la la la la la la la….an angry nutcracker will be awoken…fa la la la la la la la la!” Keep in mind the lyrics change from year to year, but almost always have nuts and balls mentioned in some threatening way. The response from John and Hayley traditionally remains the same. I usually get one “mom, you are so gross,” and one “I hate Christmas!”

 

The dogs have their own traditions on this day.  The schedule I adhere to with my dog’s works against me on this day.  Right about the time we usually go on our daily walk, Vern starts reminding me that I am forgetting something.  His reminders are not all that subtle.  He either parks his 100 pound self directly in my path, stares at me with a pathetic look on his face, or engages Fudge in a game of “Let’s try and make mom drop this box,” as the two of them run around and around.  They like to include the area directly in front of me or behind me in their loop as I struggle to balance the boxes I am carrying and remain upright, while avoiding the wrestling duo. 

Fudge is much more agreeable to rescheduling our walk, but even she started digging huge holes throughout the yard since she realized my attention was focused elsewhere.  Either that, or she decided burying some of the boxes would speed up the process next year. Traditionally, Hayley complains about having to help and this year, I think it was right about the time she said, “suck it up, it’s Christmas,” when I thought my back had gone out, that I asked if she would mind taking the dogs in the car and run an errand.  Mind you, it was only a trip to the drive-in at Dunkin Donuts, but it allowed me about an hour of silence and a clear shot to the house.  It would have been even better if she had gone to the Dunkin Donuts I recommended in a neighboring State.  It also made all of us laugh as Fudge plastered her face against the back window in a desperate attempt to let me know that she really didn’t like riding in a car with Hayley driving and she would stop digging if I would just let her out.  It tugged at my heart just a little to say, “MOVE IT, HAYLEY! I don’t want to look at Fudge’s sad face anymore.”

 

The absolute best part of this day is traditionally, I look around at all the chaos in my house and putter around for a bit, and then usually turn to Hayley or John and say, “who wants to go shopping with me and see what new Christmas stuff is out this year?” Even though they know it is just going to be one more box to drag down next year, Hayley almost always goes along for the ride.

[Doris, Knox & Flash]

Would love to copy the last few words of Nicky's post but I am trying to respond to this on my iPhone. "The actions of the slightly deranged" -- bingo!! Also, please keep the Santa and Mrs. Claus picks to yourself! We can all handle just so much, lol!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

So what did you buy at the Hallmark store? 

[Sheila & Finnley]

Oh dear.... there are sexy Mr. and Mrs. Claus outfits too ? As long as you brought it up, yup I'd like to see that as well ! Lunch or no lunch, still won't catch me out shopping the day after Christmas. I know you would be sooo much fun, but my anger at pushing through other shopper's would be a downer. :(

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Nicky, You are starting to sound a lot like F :) LOL It is pure folly, but I love it when it is all up.

Pat, YES...send me one of those holiday cards. Your daughters are just jealous :) We look awesome.

Miss Ellie, I wish I could say I waited until after HALLOWEEN each year. LOL Sometimes, it is up before then. It is madness, I think! You are going to have such a wonderful Christmas with Ellie!

Lori, I am telling you coffee is the devil's drink :) LOL

Sheila, You are nosy. LOL I suppose you want a picture of John and me in our sexy Santa and Mrs. Claus outfits, too! You would love 12/26 if you went with me. It always includes lunch :)

Gail, I know the woman who gets censored a lot on DK would love those lyrics :) Thank you!!

[Nicky, Riley & Boris]

I can just see John obfuscating and procrastinating at this task...turning a perfectly normal home into Santa's grotto requiring several boxes of stuff to be moved and distributed across the house seems like pure folly. But then again lots of the rituals we go through would seem to any visiting aliens to this planet to be the actions of the slightly deranged. LOL

[Pat and Traveler]

Hilarious!  I can only imagine the chaos and fun.  :)  I'm soooo ahead of the curve, having this family holiday card-worthy photo ready, and can't imagine why my daughters think there's something very wrong about this... lol

[Miss Ellie]

Laurie...we LOVE Christmas in our house and as soon as Thanksgiving(we live in Canada) and Halloween is over out come the Christmas decorations and carols start playing in the background.  It is such a wonderful time of year that I just want to soak up all the sights, sounds and smells of the holiday season for as long as I can...and this being our Ellie's first makes it even that much more special.  Love, love, love your lyrics for Deck the Halls and will probably never be able to listen to this song again without thinking of your lyrics and laughing hysterically.  Enjoy all your decorating:)

[Lori, Quincy & Frankie]

Much needed inspiration!   My DH apparently drinks the same brand of coffee as yours- it-the-stays-hot-forever so-I-can-keep-reading-the-news brand... 

[Sheila & Finnley]

You should post some pictures, I am nosey would love to see your

hot Christmas mess  decorations that you work so hard putting

up every year ! I think that you have guilted inspired me to get a move on !

I will never be crazy enough ever going shopping the day after Christmas.... EVER !! That is a day of total relaxation and heavy  drinking rest.

[Gail and Bailey]

Laurie, you are so creative!  I absolutely love your yearly version of "Deck the Halls"!  Priceless!