The Dogs Ate My Homework!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Recently, I signed my husband and me up for some local classes in Photography and Photoshop.  I haven’t taken a class since college and have been perfectly happy filling my head with entertainment news and mindless trivia in the meantime.  My quest for knowledge consists of figuring out the plots on Person of Interest and what’s the maximum dose of Advil I can take after a trip to the gym.  Well, class started Wednesday and it brought back memories of our high school days when John knew most of the answers and I tried to use my feminine wiles to get him to give them to me.  Unfortunately, John has finally figured out that I don’t always deliver on the promises made and two of my wiles should upgrade to a 24-hour bra with better support. 

I did know many of the answers, but preferred to wait until the question had been properly answered before I added my nod of approval.  I told my oldest that dad was the teacher’s pet and all she said was, “why can’t you let him have this one thing?” Apparently, she has not been paying attention to her competitive mother for the last 28 years.

 

Another thing I forgot about when I signed us up for the class was the number one thing I always hated about school, a little thing called homework. 

Sure enough, after our two-hour class the teacher gave us our first assignment.  We were supposed to photograph something representing there is no time like the present and here is where the trouble started.  Our daughter, Hayley, has a degree in Photography and she can be a hard-nosed, tyrannical critic when it comes to my thought process and photographs.  She spends hours telling me I think too literally and I am not creative enough.  I spend hours telling her back I just want to photograph Fudge and Vern for the Doodle calendar.  I can show her what I think is an amazing photograph and she will take one look at it and tell me she can see camera shake and I didn’t frame it correctly.  I know for a fact that she can be bought, because John just paid her $10 to go for a walk with me in his place.  Nothing makes a mother and wife feel all warm and fuzzy inside like a bidding war between a husband trying to get out of walking with you and a daughter trying to negotiate for a higher price, before they settled on the $10.  For this reason, I have thought about slipping her a ten before asking her opinion on my next photo, but I can just hear her saying, “compliments start at $20.”

So far, she doesn’t like any of my ideas for my homework and when I told her Aunt Vicki said to photograph a bunch of watches inside a gift wrapped box, you should have seen her nose go up in the air and the highfalutin way she said, “you are both so lame.”  Then I told her I had some great ideas that involved Fudge and Vern and she said, “our school frowned on using dogs for our assignments.”  Oh boy, as far as I am concerned, them’s fighting words, and I said in my best British accent, “excuse me, Miss Stick Up your Posterior Region, for not wanting to photograph fruits and vegetables and discuss what is the meaning of life based on my picture of a turnip.”  I can only tell you photographers can be a bit touchy and this did not go over well.  She then told me to think about there is no time like the present the same as something happening right now.  Based on that statement, I had a genius idea, but she shot that one down, too.  I happened to notice John wearing his “where’s my carrot?” PJ bottoms and I said, “what about dad holding a bowl of carrots, wearing his carrot pants, and munching on a carrot?” and she wanted to know how that related to anything.  When I said, “it doesn’t really relate to anything, but I thought it would be funny for the teacher’s pet to have his picture up on the screen in his carrot pajamas,” she laughed, but thought I should probably keep working on my assignment.

 

Finally, I talked about an idea I had for photographing a bridge, but so far, the reviews have been about as bad as the ones for the movie, Ishtar. 

She didn’t knock my creativity, but she didn’t like my lighting, focus, composition, what I was wearing when I shot the picture, my attitude, and my hairstyle.  I can tell she thinks I am getting better.  Meanwhile, she may not like dog pictures for assignments, but I plan on using the old excuse the dogs ate my homework if I can’t come up with anything good by Wednesday. It sure beats one of my other family member's idea who said to lead off my assignment with a naked photo of me and have John yell out, "there is no time like the present to avert your eyes!" No wonder I like photographing Fudge and Vern.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

DJ, Oh, how funny. I bet you had to give every student an A :)

[DJ & Chance]

Too funny.  When I first started teaching, I had a puppy that I had paper trained (that's what we did way back then).  One day, I left a stack of freshly grade essays exams on the floor.  When I returned, puppy had peed all over the papers.  Now, imagine explaining that to your students :)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Donna, LOL...I already have that picture in my class file. I was thinking, too, that Vern was thinking, "there is no time like the present to eat a donut." LOL I agree wholeheartedly with him:)

[Donna K & Quincy]

Laurie, I think if you use the pic of Vern with his nose on the doughnut you will have no trouble convincing anyone that the dog ate your home work. Now that I think about it, that pic might work well with your assignment because I'm pretty sure Vern is thinking "There's no time like the present" when he's looking at that doughnut.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Anna!! I'm not listening to them :)

[Anna and Achilles]

I love pictures of Fudge and Vern, those people dont know a good thing when they see it! Them is fightin words for sure!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Pat! You are right....they are my favorite subjects :)

[Pat and Traveler]

Wonderful blog, Laurie!  I know you won't give up on photographing Fudge and Vern, and with two dogs, that 'dogs ate my homework' could so easily be true!  :)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Kaytlin! I am not sure he will cooperate :) LOL

Lonnie, LOL..so far, we are still talking, sometimes we are even saying nice things :)

[Kaytlin and Cooper]

oh id love to see a pic of John in his carrot pants with a bowl of carrots eating a carrot. sounds fun!