The First Day of Spring

[Marnie, Stanlee's Mom]

Leaving work yesterday I hopped enthusiastically into my gas-guzzling SUV, buckled up, and rolled down the windows.  It was a balmy 80 degrees and I was excited that Spring had arrived.  I slid Sting into the CD player and sped out of the parking lot like a member of the mass exodus of the Great Plains in 1933. 

Cruisin’.

Cruisin’ with Sting.

Cruisin’ with Sting and no kids.

Could anything be better than this?

Okay, cruisin’ with Dwayne Johnson sitting by my side, that would be better….

 

The windows were down, blonde hair flowing in the wind, voice echoing not so beautifully the words of Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner and then I see it.  It surrounds me; a virtual cloud of dust gliding through the air and covering everything in its path.  HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD..... 

Only one thing equals our hatred to love bug season and that is a pollen-filled Spring in Tallahassee. 

I hurriedly close my windows, turn on the air-conditioning, and pray that I’m not too late.  Double crud, I am.  I grab the grape Gatorade I never finished at lunch as my mouth is so full of pollen my teeth are actually crunching.  Triple crud, I’ve forgotten that pollen expands when mixed with any type of moister.

I blindly dig through my purse searching for my Chapstick.  I remove the cap and begin applying to my poor, dry lips. I gasp in pain; the barbed pollen particles are being dragged across my mouth leaving behind a trail of jagged and shredded flesh.  My eyes become victims of necrosis, exposed too long to the acidic chemical compounds spewed forth by the Loblolly pines.  My lungs felt as if they would burst with the need to get uncontaminated oxygen.

And I don’t even have allergies.

If you’ve never experienced Spring in the tri-state area (our tri-state area being Florida, Georgia, and AlaBAMa) there is no way to explain how colorfully–coated our world becomes.  I could try to describe the yellowish-green haze that descends upon us like a Piper PA 25 dusting fields of crops but there truly is no way to put this regional plague into words.

I’ll try and go out this weekend and put together a photo essay so that you, too, can experience the wonders of Florida in the Spring.

 

Hey, at least it wasn’t love bugs!

 

 

 

 

 

[Lori, Quincy & Frankie]

I agree with BruceGirl- send the 80 degree temperature but leave the rest! 

[BG and Gavin]

Send up the 80 degree weather, forget the rest.  It is -6 (C) here today.  I am so p*ssed at that groundhog who predicted an early spring that I am considering putting a bounty out on him!  Good thing you were not in a convertible today, but I am sure if the Rock was with you it still would have been fine :)

[Donna K & Quincy]

OMG, I can in no way say I have come anywhere close to anything like that. I also don't know what a Lovebug is but I will google it. I'd say a photo essay of that is just the thing needed to cheer up those of us who still have snow on the ground. Eighty degree springs, eighty degrees is a hot summer day for us. :>) I'm just excited we are above the freezing mark.  The only thing I can identify with is that having Dwayne Johnson sitting next to you would definitely cheer you up.

[Sheila & Finnley]

P.S. Loved the blog ! Hey Laurie, watch out, you may lose your following to Marnie ! lol

[Sheila & Finnley]

Oh my !! So many things I did NOT know. Pollen expands... it gets crunchy in your mouth ?? Ha ha ha, what the hell is a Loblolly Pine.... or a Lovebug for that matter ? :) I guess I'll stick to my snow, and crispy mountain weather thank you.

Happy spring to you Marnie !! LOL

[Joanna, Zoe & Bender]

OMG LOL!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Great blog, Marnie. 80 degrees....I am having a little trouble feeling sorry for you. LOL

[Lonnie & Libby Lu]

Love this blog, sooo funny!  Hang in there, summer will soon be upon us!  Oh, maybe that is worse:)

[BettyAnn, Holmes & Lucy]

LOL!!! I can see exactly what you're talking about because I just moved from Atlanta this past summer here to Texas. There's so much I miss about GA but pollen season is definitely not one of them! Everyone here warned us about how bad the allergies are, especially in the winter when the cedar pollen (I'm sure it's not called that) strikes. Well, we survived our first winter and cedar season, and it's nothing compared to what goes on where you're at. I think the pollen count was around 200 on a bad day here... yeah, nothing compared to 2000+ in GA! And we are the unlucky family to have allergies too. We'll see what the rest of the seasons brings in our new state. Happy Spring to you! And close up all those windows!!!

[Bonnie and Kona]

Hilarious blog!!! Thanks for posting!