The Things We Do For Our Dogs, Including Not Yelling During a Football Game!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

The other night the dogs and I were in bed watching Criminal Minds and flipping channels to catch what we could of Modern Family.   I was also playing WWF and doing my normal computer stuff while watching television.  At some point, Vern got up and I had to stop what I was doing to rub him until he fell back asleep.  In the middle of all this, my husband walked into our bedroom and was ready to come to bed.  He took one look at Vern sprawled out in his spot with his head on John’s pillow and Fudge hogging the bottom half of the bed and mumbled something about coming back later.  I had too much in my lap to chase him down, but I did yell for him to come back and we would make room for him.  After all, he is the king of the castle.  Surprisingly, he didn’t come back until I wore him down by periodically calling out to him, “John, come back to bed.  I mean it!”  I felt a little like Mrs. Roper harassing her Stanley. 

 

When he came back to bed finally, he stood there for a minute and shook his head and I told him to climb into bed on my side.  I knew I had to make a choice at that moment between my husband and my computer, so I only asked him once how he felt about juggling one half of my computer and operating the left side of the keyboard while I operated the right side.  I added that we could hold hands then since we would each have one hand free.  I was pleased with this solution because I pride myself on my multitasking abilities, yet I know how important it is to keep the romance alive in your marriage.  Unfortunately, John had something different in mind for both of his hands, which meant when he turned on his Kindle; I was forced to shut my computer off.  Besides at that point, Vern kept repeatedly stretching his paw out over my chest and it was necessary to either hold his paw or be prepared to take our relationship in a whole new direction. 

 

This isn’t the first time my husband’s bedtime has been delayed because of Fudge and Vern.  Both dogs have proven on more than one occasion that they are the “Human Whisperers,” when it comes to my husband, although in fairness, they have my number, too.  Fudge used to come to bed with me almost every night, but since Vern has decided that is the place to be now that it is colder, she sometimes decides the living room couch has far more room to stretch out on without Vern in the way.  I think she also figured out without Vern there might be a chance for some one-on-one attention from someone she loves in the living room.  It seems to be working for her and I am starting to worry that Fudge is using mental telepathy to get John to do her bidding, because he keeps coming to bed late and blaming it on Fudge.  He will say, “Do you know what Fudge made me do tonight?  I had to cuddle on the couch with her until she fell asleep.”  Vern seems to prefer to manhandle him, because he sometimes says, “Do you know what Vern had me do tonight?  He pawed me until I laid down on the floor beside his dog bed and made me rub him until he fell asleep.”   For some reason this does not shock me or make me say, “you do know Vern and Fudge are dogs and you are an engineer, right?” 

Who could say no to these faces??

I can sympathize because just this morning I fell prey to Fudge’s wily ways when she came back to bed with me and cuddled right up to me, only to start that infernal scratching.  Sure enough, as soon as I put a hand on her and started rubbing, the scratching stopped.  Fudge is that good.  Yesterday, I decided to play hardball with her.  My bathroom time seems to be when she decides she needs someone to lift her up onto our bed.  It is unnerving to be getting into the shower or worse and see her standing there with her two front paws on the bed and looking at me like, “a little help, please.”  Well, yesterday I shut the bathroom door and informed her if she needed help to go tell her daddy.  When I opened the door up a bit later, she was still standing there with those two front paws on the bed and looking at me like, “what took you so long?” and I found myself apologizing to Fudge as I helped her onto the bed.  Note to self: ask the training group if I handled that situation correctly.

 

So, while I can sympathize, I am still surprised by a man who can ignore entire conversations happening right before him, but seems so in tune with what two dogs are thinking.  It isn’t that he doesn’t care about his surroundings or the people who he lives with, but after a stressful day at work he needs to unwind and I swear Lazy Boy added some kind of calming drug into the fabric of his chair that gets absorbed whenever he sits down.  I have no doubt if I walked into the living room stark naked holding lit firecrackers IF he even glanced up from his Kindle all he would probably say is, “blow those firecrackers out before that old dress you are wearing catches on fire.”  Poor Hayley comes up from her bedroom to see what is going on and he acts as if a dangerous intruder has just breached the security of our house and he is negotiating for his life.  Why are you here? What do you want?  All I have to offer you are some Swedish Fish and part of a Gatorade.  The person you want is in the bedroom.  Please leave me in peace.  Yet, somehow, two dogs have the power to move him out of that chair and onto the couch or floor at their demand.  I wish I knew their secret.  I tried the mental telepathy thing to no avail… Empty the dishwasher!  Take the trash out!  Turn off a light!  Stop covering your ears when I am talking to you…and it doesn’t work for me. 

 

The morning after the Ravens/Patriots game I was telling my mother that John made the mistake of yelling very loudly about some play and scared the dickens out of Fudge.  Fudge came into the bedroom with me and wanted up on the bed.  I told my mom I yelled out to John that he was scaring Fudge and she immediately said, “Did he tell you he can yell if he wants to and give you the foam finger?” 

Since she tells me all the time we have a screw loose when it comes to our dogs, I really hated to tell her that he came back and gave Fudge a hug and told her he was sorry he yelled and would try and control himself for the rest of the game and he did.  No, these dogs have our numbers and know just how to play us and if you want to tell us a sucker is born every minute or call us Mr. and Mrs. Stradivarius, go right ahead, because it wouldn’t be the first time and we suspect it won’t be the last.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Pat, No spy cams....no evidence :) Actually, Vern will never jump into Fudge's space on the bed and makes himself very small when she is on the bed. She likes to spread out and make him miserable :)

Camilla, Darwin wants you to beg....LOL :) He is a dog with a lot of personality and I just bet, he is spoiled rotten, too.

F, Fudge and Vern are not coming to live with you. Fudge is afraid you wouldn't help her on your bed before you tried to groom her face :) Fudge is easy to lift. Vern, not so much!

Lonnie, Thank you! It is just so hard to resist these dogs. Those adult children love to throw your own words back in your face, don't they?? LOL

Jane, I am not a big football fan, either. I will be watching tonight because our Ravens are involved, but mostly for halftime. When Megan played volleyball, I could hardly sit still and keep my mouth shut. LOL

[Pat and Traveler]

Ha!  You must have some very entertaining night times.  I think a spy cam is in order, so we can get the full flavor.  :)

Trav knows the bed is mostly his, though I'm allowed a little area.  When dog Grendel was visiting, it was hilarious to watch him getting onto the bed.  He's a big dog and could easily jump up, but he'd put his front feet up, then sort of climb, in a very awkward, self-effacing way, trying to take up only about six inches of space overall.  I guess he wasn't sure he was welcome, and wanted to be inconspicuous, which is really a hard thing to do for a 110 lb. dog. 

[Camilla and Darwin]

F, that is how it is at our house too. Darwin has learned that he's on his own as far as getting up on the bed. I will admit however, that he requires some finessing to get on the couch. He will put his head on the cushion and wait for you to invite him up. A regular invite won't work though, you have to sound like you really want him there. THEN he'll jump up. The funny thing is, he will jump up on his own if you are not in the room. But if you are in there he wants you to beg. LOL

[F, Calla & Luca]

I don't want to sound like a meanie but in my house if you expect to be lifted on the bed, you are going to stay on the floor. The only exception is if I  want the dog on the bed for some reason, some grooming thing or another, and then of course all the dogs are capable of is seeking the furthest corner. I can lift Luca. With Calla it's dragging her to the bed, lifting her front paws on it, hoisting her rear end and trying to keep her there at the same time.

[Lonnie & Libby Lu]

Love this blog Laurie, made me smile and laugh and I can so relate to the yelling at games. We finally gave into Libby two weeks ago and she now sleeps in our bed!  She is thrilled, me too, DH is still trying to adjust to a new "body" in the bed.  Libby is loving every minute and so far stays at the foot of our bed and sleeps very quietly all night. I think she is very grateful so she is not ruffling any blankets feathers so we will let her stay. My kids (the adult ones) think we are crazy and asked me "what happened to the statement that Libby will NEVER be in your bed"?  Oh well, things change I say:)  They constantly tell me she is spoiled and she gets to do things they never did!  They are right:)  That is part of having a Doodle!

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

My DH is a football game "yeller"....and it scares ME!  I will never understand that level of passion and excitement over a bunch of grown guys chasing around a football.  The only time I get that excited at any game is if one of my grand kids is playing....then I'm kind of a lunatic.  F & V are very lucky Doodles to have a Dad that stays quiet during football and a Mom who lifts them on and off the bed.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Camilla, I have said it from the beginning, these dogs are smarter than John and me :) Tell Darwin to come out and see us and I will work on getting his mom trained.

F, Oh yes, I have been pinned many times and find parts of me off the bed for the dog's comfort.

Nancy, I never said Fudge couldn't jump on the bed. She is a world class jumper, but DOESN'T jump on the bed. She views herself as royalty and we are all her subjects. Even Vern does the front paws on the bed thing every now and then and hoisting him can cause a back to go out. Just the other day, Fudge was able to reach far back on a counter for a Santa Hat that she wanted :) Ned and Clancy and Gordie are welcome anytime, but it may be Fudge teaching them some of her tricks. She might wrap them around her paws, too :

Karen, Tell JD I promise only to dress him up at Halloween if he moves in:) LOL Yep, I agree about the DH. He is dippy over those dogs. Sometimes, I think he likes them better than me :)

Joanna, Read my comment to Nancy..LOL. Fudge CAN jump on the bed, but the little princess never does.

DJ, Send Chance right over. Our bed is pretty high, so I would boost him, too, if I had to help. My dogs do not bother me ever in the shower. I guess they don't want to see me naked. LOL

Julie, Both of the dogs jump down from the bed, although Fudge just started this year and she is four. I keep telling myself Fudge is being good and waiting until I invite her onto the bed, but we both know she has my number :) LOL

[Julie and Charlie]

Charlie wasn't allowed in bed until he could jump up AND jump down. Jumping up happened first, down took awhile. I think all of our dogs have us wrapped around their paws.

[DJ & Chance]

Chance wants to come over for a visit.  He would not take up much room and can even jump up on the bed himself!  He promises to not do that early morning scratching thing (what's up with that anyway?), and he would show Fudge that it is also fun to follow mom into the shower along with other nifty things he sometimes gets to do at home.

[Joanna, Zoe & Bender]

Aw that's so cute that Fudge can't jump up on the bed!!!