The Tour de Pennsylvania! (Just like the Tour de France, only Shorter Distance and Less Fit Riders)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

 

I recently wrote a blog about how much I hate the Tour de France from a wife’s point of view.  Writing that blog and reading the comments, however, inspired me to get back on my bike this week despite the heat. Because of the terrible heat we are experiencing here in Pennsylvania, I brought along lots of water and my IPod.  Usually, I worry about drinking a lot of water and having no bathrooms along the way, but after Lynda told me that the riders in the Tour de France do not waste time on potty breaks and opt instead to pee themselves and let the urine either soak through or blow away, I am more worried now about what the rider ahead of me is doing.  I am thinking anyone riding directly behind one of those “pee as you go” types is not going to be impressed with their multi tasking abilities.

 

Lynda also said that bike riders do not wear underwear with their bike shorts, and that was certainly evident in the picture Karen posted in my blog, but I feel like I am standing on the edge of a precipice. Michael Phelps probably felt the same way when someone said this is what you need to wear to win Olympic Gold Medals.

 

I am just not sure I am willing to let nothing come between my khaki cotton skort and me just so I can pass a couple of senior citizens up on the rail trail.  I have to draw the line somewhere.

 

Really, who am I kidding?  I got back on the bike today because I need to get in shape by next week when I attend a family reunion.  I have about 8 days to get my body looking like Valerie Bertinelli’s about two days into her Jenny Craig diet. At this point, that is the best I can hope for in the amount of time I allotted to make this work. If this means I have to pee while I am riding my bike and stand on my bed naked and jump into a pair of bike shorts, I guess that is what it has come to in my desperation.

 

The first leg of my personalized Tour de Pennsylvania ride today was good.  I have to say if you are single, there are a lot of single males on the rail trail in the middle of the day. I passed walkers, bike riders and runners.  I never wear my wedding ring when I ride, but I later assured my husband that I didn’t want him to worry when he was at work that I was riding around without my wedding ring and someone was going to steal his trophy wife out from under him.  All he said was he wondered what the hell kind of contest he had won. 

 

I did pass a couple of guys not wearing shirts today that I felt had clearly not looked in a mirror in a good long time or if they had, it was one of the carnival mirrors that makes you look much thinner.  If this diet thing does not work out, I am having one of those mirrors installed when we renovate our bathroom. Maybe I should also post a note on the suggestion wall that they hire someone like they do at amusement parks who measures to see if you are tall enough to go on a ride. This person would have a tape measure and take your measurements and see if you are a candidate for the shirtless look on the trail.  Anyway, I wish people would be more considerate. You certainly won't see me taking my shirt off and showing everyone the effects that childbirth can have on a woman’s body when she gains far more weight than is warranted to pop out a 6 pound baby. Some things are better left to yourself, people!!  This morning I also read they caught a man who had been flashing men and women in the area and I have to tell you if I am on the tail end of my ride and some idiot jumps out at me and wants to play the “Wiener, No Wiener Game,” I am going to plow right over him and yell, “Teeny weeny wiener,” just to let him know that I am at the point in my ride where it needs to be over.

 

I rode today and I am riding tomorrow.  The only problem with tomorrow is the person I ride with has my same attitude when we ride. We like to meander up the trail, talking and laughing, and stopping every now and then for a break. It is much different than when I ride with my husband.  Sometimes I will say, “We have been riding for about 20 miles. Do you think we could stop for a snack?” He never fails to answer back, “For god sakes, it hasn’t even been a mile. It is too soon to stop.”  My friend always says it sounds like a good idea and where do you think we are going for lunch. I think the next time my DH says to keep going, I am going to tell him to ride closely behind me, because I just learned something new on DoodleKisses that I would like to try out.

 

Yesterday, as I was riding on my solitary ride, I looked upward and said, “Just give me a sign that you want me to either continue pedaling my bike in this quest to lose a few pounds or it is ok with you if I forever remain the before picture and stay chubby,” and believe it or not, I looked down as I almost ran over a snake.  I could only deduce that someone wanted me to continue pedaling and at a much faster pace. That’s as clear as it gets in my book, so it’s back out on the trail for me for the next leg of the Tour de Pennsylvania.

 

 

 

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Nina and Allyson!!

[Nina, Phil, Harlow & Lacey]

OMD!  Laurie you had me laughing so hard I almost thought I was in a bike race. :")

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

Love it!!!  You are so funny!!!!!!!!!!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Lisa, Stop sneaking and announce proudly what you are doing. Bosses like that....LOL!!

F, That picture is priceless. They must really love their dad! I do think the Tour de P is a better title!!

Pat, DK always tries to educate!!

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

Why do I sneak on DK at work just to get caught laughing my butt off because of you!?!?!?!

And again, my beautiful bike is a decoration on my garage wall....maybe after my 90 day commitment it will still be nice enough to take down.

[F, Calla & Luca]

I think you should call it the Tour de P, anyone's guess whether that stands for Pennsylvania or Pee. Really a cather and one of those baggies would not be aerodynamic so can you blame them, really. But now I want to know how those beautiful gals, and poor little kids in this instance, stand next to the odiferous winners. Look where the kiddies faces are--ugh. They may need clothespins on their noses.

[Pat and Traveler]

Baaaa haaa haaaa....hilarious!  I learned something new about potty breaks and bike races.  Aaarrrrgggghhhh... I would be embarrassed to say how many miles my bike (in the storage shed) has on it.  :)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Jayd, You have a date if I ever get to your area. We can ride side by side!!!

Camilla, The snake was alive and well when I rode right by it....YUCK!!!

Jane, I only carry water. Maybe that is why I don't have as much fun as you do on the trail :)

Donna, LOL. I hear you on the exercise. I walk my dogs at least twice a day, so that has to count for something.

 

[Donna K & Quincy]

Oh dear, is DH about to find out it is better to be P******d off than p*******d on. Laurie, I love the way you think. I love to ride and I used to ride just about every day but that was a couple of years ago. Now I don't have the energy to exercise me and then exercise the doodle.

[Jayd (Dempsey)]

Jane that is COMPLETELY reasonable...I'm sure you added a little lime for that extra bit of refreshment!