The Unmovable Fudge and a Broken Bed!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Our bed broke last night, which might not seem like that big of a deal, unless I tell you it was the middle of the night, we were sound asleep, when John’s side ended up on the floor.  I can tell you, from firsthand experience now, that having your bed make a loud noise and crash works better than any snooze alarm I have ever had in waking a person up.  The thing is the bed has been telling us something was wrong for quite some time, but since John’s motto has always been, “let’s pretend everything is fine until it isn’t,” it got ignored.  We have a great bed. It is comfortable, big, and does not squeak.  That may not seem that important unless you started out in your grandma’s old bed which made so much noise as you tossed and turned that I am sure anyone nearby thought John and I were a couple of sex starved teenagers with the mating habits of rabbits.  Well, recently our great bed has started to squeak. It squeaked when you got in it, it squeaked when you rolled over, it squeaked a lot, but the only thing that happened was occasionally John would say, “I ought to try and figure out what is going on with our bed,” and that was that.  Now, if he wants to take a look under our bed, he is going to have to hoist his side up.

 

The thing is over the years I have tried to stop nagging about some things that don’t get done.  Our guest bathroom door does not lock.  I can’t tell you how many times my friend, Rose, has tried to use the bathroom only to have Fudge and Vern barge in to see if she is giving out any hugs while doing her business. I now keep a heavy Santa door stopper in there and advise all guests to use it unless they don’t mind having the door opened by two noisy canines.  Last week our lights were so dim in the kitchen that I finally asked John to stop off at a medical store and see if he could get me a white cane so I could navigate my way around the stove and refrigerator.  It isn’t that I cannot change a light bulb, but the kitchen lights involve a ladder, special bulbs that I can never find in our house, and sometimes, I just feel like making a point.  He has known about the bed for quite some time because he has commented from time to time that something is wrong and he has heard me say to Hayley stuff like “just remember if the bed is squeaking, don’t come peeking….if grandpa gets cheeky, our bed gets creaky……oh goodness, all this squeaky makes old folks leaky ” and you get the idea.  Sometimes, the best part of my day is hearing Sister Mary Hayley tell me I am disgusting.  What can I say?  There has to be some perks to having adult children live at home.  

 

The other thing that has been happening at our house this past week is I decided to go through all of my clothes.  Sometimes I get these big ideas that I live to regret and I have been in the middle of “how did all these clothes shrink?” hell since Monday.  The whole process has convinced Fudge I am packing for a trip and she has been uncharacteristically clingy to me at night.  Normally she sleeps at John’s feet and he will sometimes complain that his feet were off the bed most of the night, but since I slept fine, I usually smile and say something like, “that’s too bad,” when what I really mean is, “better you than me.”  Well, this week, I have felt like a rock and Fudge is the barnacle attached to me. Several times I have gotten up because I couldn’t take it anymore and gone in the other room when pushing her off of me failed to work.  Fudge is only fifty pounds, but for some reason her size seems to triple when she is asleep and she has the ability to dig her body into the bed until she proves unmovable.  Then there is the stupid part of me who doesn’t want to disturb her sleep or misses her if all the pushing and pulling bugs her enough that she gets up and leaves.  I have been known to plead with her, “Fudge, don’t leave. I just need more room. We can work this out!”

 

Like most things that John ignores in the hopes that it will just go away, it almost always come back to bite him in his procrastinating butt. This is exactly what happened last night. That bed let us know that it was not going to be ignored in a big way.  The funny thing was when John’s side fell, he actually tried to get back in the sloping bed and go back to sleep.  Because he is a college graduate, it only took him a matter of minutes to realize sleeping on a slide could be hazardous to your health and before long I heard him say, “this isn’t going to work.” Luckily, my side of the bed was in pretty good shape and while John made himself comfortable in the guest bedroom, I convinced the unmovable Fudge to let me move her to higher ground and we all went back to sleep.  Surprisingly a slanted bed can be quite comfortable and I never once felt like I needed to set up some kind of rock climbing portaledge to remain in place.  In the morning the dogs and I piled in bed with John to talk about the events of the night and we quickly determined that a queen size bed would never work with two big dogs.  I figured it out about the time that Vern stepped on my chest to get closer to John and gave me the equivalent of a mammogram.  Today we pick up the pieces of our bed and try to put it all back together in the hopes that tonight we can be back where we belong pushing Fudge around for more space and sleeping on a level space. Fingers crossed!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Stella and Lori!!

[Stella]

Oh Laurie! You never fail to bring a smile to my face! Love reading your blogs!

[Lori, Daphne, Lucy & Pippa]

Laurie, you are entertaining as always. Thanks for the laughs! Reminds me that mine is not the only husband who takes procrastination seriously!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Camilla!

Nancy, How great that your broken bed is still in the family and going strong :) We have those high ceilings too and I just would prefer John do the bulb changings while I watch from below. LOL I just spent the week with my daughter and her Frenchies. I now think my Doodles are the best bed mates ever. Oh my...that Jazz can hog a bed. 

DJ, Thank you!

Jane, Thank you. I am glad you laughed. I complain a lot, but I love when Fudge cuddles in bed.

Sheri, Surprisingly, John fixed the bed the next day. LOL That in itself was a true miracle. I guess because it affected his sleep, he got cracking :) No way we could do two dogs in a Queen bed, although we spent YEARS in a full bed with Hershey sleeping next to me. I guess we were younger and liked sleeping closer together then. LOL

Donna, That seems like a lot of duct tape. LOL I will tell Hayley. All she does is work. She does not take after me :)

Cheryl, Thanks. Yes, I was quite surprised when he tried to get back into bed. LOL I have to tell you, Hayley REALLY appreciates my hard work :)

Bonnie, I am gold medal material myself :) Way to go!!!

[Camilla and Darwin]

Another fantastically cheering post. :-)

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

OMD, this brought back memories of one Christmas morning.  Our bed broke as we woke up so we took the pieces up to my mom and dad's so he could glue it back together.  As added protection, we used ski rope to hold the frame together.  That bed, which was an antique already, has now been passed down to each of our son's and any guests - complete with ski rope frame accessory.

Laurie, I have the same light problem - special light bulb and ladder needed.  We have uber high ceilings and I couldn't even reach the fixture with our ladder - that's my excuse and I am sticking to it.

You mean there are dogs who aren't lead weights at the foot of the bed? I will try to enlighten Gordie.

[DJ & Chance]

LOL, thanks for some great laughs, Laurie. 

[jane leichter]

Yes, i believe that animals undergo a mass change when they get in our beds. I had some cats that liked to sleep on my chest.they went from 10 lbs to 50as soon as they curled up.same with straight-legging. No dogs in the bed here..and last cat passed of old age!

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

This is just too funny.  I'm just glad it was John's side of the bed that broke or this might have been a whole different blog.  In the sleeping in a queen size bed with two doodles, I can attest to that not being any fun.  The girls have been in our room the last couple nights because we are redoing the flooring in their room.  The also normally sleep with us when we are on vacation.  Lucy is a good bed partner.  She just gets at the foot of the bed and goes to sleep, no problem.  AnnaBelle on the other hand is going to be stretched out in between us in what ever position makes her the most comfortable.  Like Fudge she is like a boulder.  There is no moving her.  If you try to push her over she stretches her legs out and makes them stiff onto the person beside her so as to prevent any movement.  It is also like she weighs a 100 lbs.  I'm not sure how she does that.  Anyway, take your time finding that new bed or getting this one fixed and enjoy a couple more nights of great sleep.

[jane leichter]

Oh tee hee. It has been quite a week here and im reading this in the middle of the night and really laughing out loud! ! Thank you so much for the great tale!! Good to laugh!!