Until Death Do Us Part!! What Happens to Your Dogs, If Something Happens to You?

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

A couple of things lately have had me contemplating my own mortality.  It isn’t something I think about a lot, but I do want to make sure that Fudge and Vern are taken care of if something should happen to me. The good news for Fudge and Vern is that my husband and both of our daughters love our dogs as much as I do and would never willingly give them up.  Now, if I could just convince myself the dogs will continue to enjoy the same level of care that I provide for them, I could rest easier.  On the one hand, my dogs are dippy over my husband and not long ago, I was cuddling with Vern in bed and my husband walked in and Vern pushed off on my upper body hard enough that I thought maybe he popped a lung or I could go back to wearing a training bra, in his effort to beat Fudge for some cuddling time with my husband. Once he appears, both dogs start making moony eyes at him and unless I am willing to wave large slabs of bacon in their direction, they forget I exist. I can live with that, but it was a little disconcerting to hear my husband say, “My two very favorite loved ones are in this bed,” when, in fact, there were technically three living beings in the bed that night and one of them was his wife and the other two were dogs.  I know my dogs won’t lack for cuddling, but I do worry that things will be forgotten if I am not here to nag complain bitc remind them and that Fudge and Vern will not be as spoiled cared for as I would like. Whenever I say to my husband that we will be together for all eternity, he always says back, “I only agreed until death do us part,” but I swear I will haunt this family if I look down to see my sweet Fudge and Vern eating Purina Dog Chow, using doggie pads, and drinking out of the toilet.

Believe me, I am not saying that my family cannot manage without me, because over the years, there has been some evidence to the contrary. When my oldest daughter was very young, I don’t know if she had seen one too many Disney movies, but every time she and her sister played make believe, I would hear her say, “let’s pretend mommy is dead,” and her sister never voiced any objections.  Once, I was driving down the highway and my oldest turned to me and said, “if we get in an accident and you are dead, how do I put the car in reverse?” I guess she wanted to make sure she would still be able to get home and not have to waste any time hanging around to help.  Sometimes, I got sick of her make believe world and would find myself saying, “why don’t you let someone else be dead this game?” and point towards her father, but she always answered back she liked her game better. I asked a couple of friends if their kids played these kind of games and when they said no, accompanied by horrified looks, I started to think maybe I was raising Lizzie Borden and might need to get a restraining order against my five year old.

On our 25^th anniversary, my husband surprised me with beautiful diamond earrings and while I was still basking in the glory of my gift, my girls asked if they could each have one when I died.  I asked them if it would be all right with them if I savored my special gift for just one moment, before they started planning my funeral and dividing my assets.  They were very nice about it and I could tell they were very contrite when they said again, “will the savoring part take long, because we are waiting for an answer?”  At one of my cookie parties, even the guests were going around and mentioning what item they would like me to leave them in my will.  One friend said it might be easier if I gave them post-it notes and they could just mark what they wanted and my mom said, “Good idea! I call the blue and white chairs in the foyer.” When I said, “I thought we were here to eat cookies and share recipes. I didn’t know we were having my Wake first,” no one seemed that embarrassed and in fact, one friend, and frankly it may have been my mom, said,  “You can lecture us later.  Right now, we need the post-it notes.”

 

It is actually refreshing to know that everyone will go on, but I still worry about Fudge and Vern.  I am poking a lot of fun at a serious subject, because that is how I handle things, but the sad thing is sometimes pets are not taken care of when a loved one dies.  Our neighbor walked out of her house to go to church one Sunday morning and had a car accident and died.  She had two dogs she was as crazy about as I am about Fudge and Vern. Like my dogs, they went everywhere with her and now they are left in the care of her husband.  Luckily, he loves them, but sometimes it doesn’t happen like that and a dog is left at a shelter, because the original owner made no provisions for the dog and that is very sad. We certainly demand better with our human children and most parents have something set up in their will that designates who should get their children in the case of death.

 

I know we did it and agonized over who we thought could best provide for them, had a similar parenting style, and would love them like we did. In our case, I wanted them to go to my husband’s youngest sister because 1) I loved her and 2) for years we have played a game called “I Got You Last,” which involves immature behavior, smacking, yelling, trash talking, and dodging in an attempt to see who can “get” each other last and I thought it would be fun to continue this game at the reading of the will.  I wanted the lawyer to tell my husband’s sister, “Laurie said to tell you she got you last and the kids are yours.” Unfortunately, I got vetoed by my husband who felt his sister was too young and still in school and the fate of our children should not be decided by a competitive whack job, as he put it, who wants to win a final game.

As I said in the beginning, luckily for Fudge and Vern, they are loved. My daughters would happily take both of them and if they came sporting a pair of diamond earrings, even better.

I have already told my husband if I go first, I want him to remarry immediately and find a woman that loves our dogs, and doesn’t try and outshine me. (I just can’t turn the competitiveness off)  He said he would prefer a maid that would go home when he got off work, and if she could cook him a good home cooked meal each night before she left, he would be fine.  I am a bad cook, so I feel he might be looking for an upgrade in that department and I had to explain to him what I meant by outshine. 

This is more what I was thinking about for him:

Then he said one of the nicest things he has ever said to me. He told me that the level of care and nurturing I have provided over the years has taught him independence and given him the confidence he needed to know he could go on alone.  I am sure my kids would say the same, except they might run to divvy up those earrings first.

 

In all seriousness, death is never something we want to think about, but we do need to prepare for those, and that includes pets, we might leave behind.  It is the right thing to do!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Jennifer, I am glad you have Jack and I do believe the right dog finds you. He gives you hope and that is never a bad thing. He is lucky to have you!!

Carol, I would take Banjo in a heartbeat. He already likes boating!!  I know I would have to fight some of these other DK'ers off, but I am getting fitter every day :)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Donna, We fight over the dogs, too, whenever the divorce word comes up...LOL!!

Jen, What a great and thoughtful idea. Sounds like you have it all taken care of for both dogs.

Nicky, No one is getting my dogs!  LOL Maybe that is what keeps us together :)

Bonnie, I agree....the next wife must love dogs :) LOL

F, Thank you!! I hoped it was funny! You can see my family would be devastated....LOL!

Jennifer, Another great thing about DK is I think we would really all watch out for each other's dogs. I feel like I know so many of them, Jack and Molly included.

Joanna, I feel the same way, too, except my standards for grooming are pretty low. I am sure my DH could maintain them :)

Jane, It is a great idea to have your DH start working with the trainer. Both of you are amazing dog owners.

[F, Calla & Luca]

I kow what you mean Pat. Luca has sounds that mean all sorts of things and he expects me to understand. Calla does it more with looks. But with luck if need be the doodles would adapt and so would whoever cares for them. But you're right, we need to try to sick around.

[Doris, Knox & Flash]

Thanks, Laurie, for totally depressing me!!  Geez! 

I believe my dogs will be fine without me  After awhile they will get used to a new "normal" which may be more normal than their old normal, if you know what I mean. If my husband and I leave this world together, my son would take them and he's just about as crazy about them as me -- although, he is the one that came up with Knox's nickname, just saying...

[Pat and Traveler]

My daughters would take Trav, and there will be money for his care, but nobody else knows knows his little quirks and minor needs.  Like just now--would they understand that he's standing quietly, staring at the desk because he discovered a long-lost toy under there and wants me to get it out for him?  Nope, he's a real momma's boy and I'm just going to have to hang around for him.  :)

Nice funny-thoughtful blog, Laurie.  

[Donna K & Quincy]

My sister, who is a dog lover, has agreed to take Quincy if anything should happen to the both of us. She did point out that since Quincy is always with us she wouldn't stand much of a chance of getting him, I think she sounded a little disappointed. What I haven't done and should do is put it in writing. If I should exit first, I know DH is more than able to take care of the doodle, he may end up as a naked doodle because DH does a half ass poor job of brushing him.  DH loves Quincy every bit as much as I do but someone mentioned divorce, all I can say to that is THE DOODLE IS MINE.

[Jen, Lachlan, and Declan]

Excellent blog, Laurie, as always, and definitely a subject that needs thinking about. Over here I have a small circle of friends of the "we're all single and have pets instead of children" variety. We've created a written agreement that if anything happens to one of us, the others will step in and take in any current pets. We've also agreed to keep a diary of any special likes, dislikes, and needs any of the pets have so there's no surprises if the worst should happen and our boys and girls can make as easy a transition as possible.

[Nicky, Riley & Boris]

Great blog and lots of food for thought.  What if it isn't death but separation or divorce?  I know if that happened here there would be one mighty custody battle....

[Bonnie and Kona]

Another great blog. My DH has turned a corner with the doodles. He liked dogs fine but didn't really care for them... just pet them or went on runs with them. With the doodles he is a changed man. He kisses them, lets them on the furniture, feeds them yogurt with their dog food, has even brushed them a few times. I mean this man is going to do fine. Whew! If he knows anything he knows the next wife has to love dogs. How could anyone be attracted to a dog hater anyway? 

[F, Calla & Luca]

I love the way you deal with things, we all get to enjoy it even if the topic hits close to home. "I am poking a lot of fun at a serious subject, because that is how I handle things...."