We Hit the High Seas on our Pontoon Boat! Boating with Fudge and Vern!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Finally, after two weeks of waiting, the boat people called on Friday (5/11) and said our pontoon was going into the water and we could meet with them that night and get our first instructions with Tim, the boat guy.  Tim was going to go over everything and take us out on the water for our main lesson….how to operate a pontoon boat.  One of the hold ups the past two weeks was the mechanic had to figure out a way to secure the dog ramp to the boat and make it feel secure enough for two big dogs. When I stopped over there this past week, the mechanic was making all kinds of modifications and probably wishing we had taken our business elsewhere. They even had a test dog come in and test the thing on land.

 

Tim is just the nicest guy and probably has no idea what to make of my husband and me.  When he was explaining the wiring manifest and assuring us we would probably never have to mess with the boat wiring, my husband said, “here Laurie, hold this live wire for me,” and I said, “Tim, I am not falling for that one again.”  Tim laughed, but it was one of those laughs that people do when they are trying to decide if a joke was said or not.  Later, I said, “if John croaks before I learn to drive this boat by myself, I will kill him,” and we had one or two good ones about the automatic anchor and what it could be used for if we encountered an annoying person on the boat and there was some finger pointing and then John mentioned my mother by name and title.  By the time we finished, Tim was probably thinking maybe going out on the pontoon boat with us might be more than he signed on for when he took this job.  It probably didn’t help that once we were in the water getting our instructions, I happened to see my arch nemesis on shore.  There is some guy who runs with his German Shepherd up at the park and I swear he has scared me on more than one occasion when he comes out of nowhere and surprises both my dogs and me.  I asked Tim if there was some way we could run him over so my future dog walks would be less eventful and Tim said no.

 

We got all of our instructions on Friday night and set out on Saturday for our first voyage.  We decided not to take the dogs on the first time out, but our daughter tagged along.  There seemed to be more bickering without Tim around to guide us.  Right off the bat, I didn’t start unsnapping the boat cover in the right places and I didn’t fold the cover properly.  The self-appointed boat captain did not appreciate when the first mate said, “it is not a tablecloth, Martha Stewart.” 

I wanted to get out on the water, but my husband thought now was the time to practice unwinding and winding the docking line.  He kept saying he didn’t know we were in a hurry and I kept saying I didn’t know we bought a boat so we could sit around on it and watch him practice his sailor knots. FYI: Captains get cranky when you say things like, “Would Sir Knots-a-lot like to bring his knots on board, so we can get this show on the road?”  They also do not like knot knot jokes….knot knot….who’s there?...knot gonna lie, I’m pretty bored.  He finally got in the driver seat, but not before saying something about wishing he could untie a knot he had tied 34 years ago, which is coincidentally the number of years we have been married.

Our maiden voyage was successful until I said I wanted to try parking the pontoon.  It is not like parking a car, and luckily the slip next to us is still empty because I ended up parallel parking the boat in both slips, which takes a special talent.  Well, I did what any good skipper would do and abandoned my post and as soon as I got close enough to the dock, I bailed.  I did help manually turn the boat around, so we were actually backwards in the slip and asked my husband if he could fix the mess I had made while I went to get the dogs. I figured anyone watching after that point would assume some guy didn’t know how to park his boat.  I have been practicing, because I want to take the boat and the dogs out by myself and I now have parking down pat, but I did almost lose a husband when I accidentally accelerated leaving the boat slip after I thought I heard my husband give me the all clear, instead of what he really said, “hold on, I’m not all the way on the boat yet.” After that, we implemented a new rule that life jackets must be worn by the helper when leaving or coming into the boat slip.

The dogs took to boating like ducks to water.  Vern, especially, seems to be made for this life.  He sits in one of the front seats and closes his eyes and looks like he thinks he died and went to heaven.

Fudge gets a little more excited with birds in the water or geese flying, but I have found if I hold her on my lap, she sits quite contentedly and watches the world go by, although I can feel her little heart beating a mile a minute.

Both dogs already have THEIR seat and I have already had to tell my daughter to vacate one of the dog’s seats and she gives us her old “I am a human being” speech and we nod our heads in sympathy and then say again, “MOVE!”  We have also found boating to be less relaxing when our daughter is on board because she cannot sit still.  She likes to wait until the dogs are settled and being good before she decides it is time for a photo opportunity and after the tenth time she yells, “look over here, Fudge…look over here, Vern,” one of the other occupants on board usually mentions that they wonder if a Nikon camera floats. My husband has taken to accelerating or decelerating the throttle when she starts moving about in the hopes that she will be too scared to leave her seat, but so far all she has said is, “dad, why do you keep doing that?” as she moves to a different location. We are hopeful that some day when she “accidentally” loses her footing and gets catapulted overboard she will begin to see the correlation between the boat jerking and lurching forward just as she gets up from her seat.

Each boating outing has gotten better and better and last night after the dogs took a cool dip in the lake, I asked my daughter to help me get their robes on, so they didn’t get too chilly.  This led to a series of comments about dog and robes and people that buy their dogs robes, but the dogs dried quicker and the robes captured the frequent shakings and by the end of the ride, no one was laughing, except we did take them off of them before we docked.  It just seemed like the right thing to do in lieu of the fact that we already had some witnesses to our embarking and disembarking skills, and we didn’t need to hear “crazy dog people,” too.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Ricki, You know Tara and you would be free....no charge. It is your DH who I would have to charge $541.17...LOL!! That is the price for non DK members :)

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Laurie, that looks like so much fun!!!  The look on Vern's face just says it all!!  Glad you are enjoying your new boat and let me know if the price for a dinner cruise ever comes down! :)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

BG, The robes got a laugh, but it actually prevents them from shaking water all over the place. We do get looks, but it dries them quicker, too!! I am sure your DH said, "buy two." LOL

[BG and Gavin]

Great outing!  Fudge and Vern are natural sailors I'd say!  I just showed DH the pictures and told him we absolutely have to get Gavin a robe for his boat trips too.  I won't tell you his response...

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

LIsa, LOL

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

Ha ha little canon balls that don't pop up I am sure.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Doris. I don't understand the title either....LOL!!

Thanks, Jarka!!

[Doris, Knox & Flash]

Why in the world would anyone call you a "crazy dog" person?? Their own ramp, first choice of seats, life-jackets and robes are all perfectly normal, aren't they??

We are green with envy here in Texas!! Love your blog and pics! It's going to be a great summer for you and your family!!

[Jarka, Monty & Auggie]

Love the story, love the pictures, love the robes.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Allyson, Thank you! I am so glad I could make a future mommy of a daughter smile :)

Amy, Thank you....oh, I do like that....Ginger. Thank goodness you did not say Mrs. Howell :) LOL

Kimmy, Thank you!! The robes really are great.

Lisa, Thank you! I would love for my married DD to come home. She just went to American Samoa for work.  I think her dogs would sink...LOL!!

Deanna, LOL...that is a perfect statement :)

Janie and Bonnie, Thank you for the nice comments!!

Donna, I agree with F (for once..LOL)...your frayed knot comment was very funny :) Maybe I need to get my DD a robe and a snack and hope she falls asleep :) Thank you for your comment.