When Does The Embarrassment End?

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

So the kids are pretty much grown up and I thought all the embarrassing moments were over, right?  Enter Murphy Doodle....back to being mortified on a regular basis.   We're walking on our Bike Path each day now with both guys.  Each day brings a new "Murphy experience".  Yesterday we walked a couple of miles and he was doing great...lots of people, bikes, dogs....no problems.  Then I noticed a guy walking towards us....and I didn't like him.  He just looked really arrogant...perfect "jogging suit", perfect hair, talking on his phone really loud.  So anyway, I'm thinking "this guy probably beats his wife" as we start to pass him.  That's when Murph decides to lunge right at him....I hope the guy had spare "undies" in the car.  I can't even describe the look on his face.  I was thinking of just letting Murph go, but then I thought that might not be the best idea....he looked like a lawyer to me.  I hope this does not offend any DK lawyers.  Karen and I think maybe Murph was tuned into my thoughts and was just carrying out a "subconscious" order.  Don't know....but it was embarrassing.

So today, back to the same bike path.  It was a beautiful day here....sunny and warm.  The bike path was full of families out walking their dogs and biking.  As we got out of the car DH went in the back to look for a poop bag.  They were gone...no poop bags anywhere in the car.  We did some quick problem solving, and DH came across an empty Tupperware container.  We're thinking....he's not going to go because he went this morning.  DH being cautious decided he'd bring the Tupperware just in case.  Well we get about five minutes into the walk and Murph has the biggest liquid diarrhea poop EVER.  Right behind us is a family with two little kids, and they're approaching the liquid poop.  DH starts frantically trying to scoop it up off the pavement with the container, but it's liquid.  Okay, the family is there looking pretty disgusted, but no gagging which is a good thing.  I keep walking ahead because with Murph you don't want to slow down.  There's poor DH behind me carrying the container full of poop (well whatever he could "scrape up").  What do you do with it....toss it to the side of the road, of course.  So now there's an empty (but still poopy) Tupperware and DH has to carry it the rest of the two miles.  So we continue on...me in front pretending I've never seen DH before in my life.  Bikes are going by us all the time and Murph is relaxed....they aren't bothering him at all so I wasn't really paying much attention.  Then I see a biker all dressed in his biking outfit with the helmet and goggles.  Well Murph isn't fond of that look either apparently because he decides to "take him out".  I've never moved so fast in my life.  Luckily no major catastrophe, but I'm thinking this is one biker who is never going to be a Doodle fan.

So that brings me to the last part of my embarrassing moments blog....and yes it's about the "anal glands".  Anyone on Yappy Hour last night knows more about Murphy's anal gland issues than they ever wanted to.  Well what I forgot to tell everyone was that Thursday morning when the "scooting and licking" all started we had a training session in Lowe's.  We did our training, and when we were just about finished I asked my trainer if he'd check out the "glands".  He looked at me like I had completely lost my mind and said "Jane, you want me to stick my hand up this dog's butt right here in Lowe's".  I said sure, there's nobody around right now...do you have gloves?  I didn't want him to actually express them right there in the store, I just needed to know if they were full.  I didn't want to bring him to the Vet if they really wern't full.  Anyway, he wouldn't do it....wimp.  In retrospect, I'm thinking this may not have been a totally appropriate request of the trainer....now I'm embarrassed yet again.

[Anna and Achilles]

O Jane I feel your pain! Side note I think I would have lunged at the perfect guy myself. Tell Murph he has a good sense of people! Your DH is a good man!

[laurie Wells]

So funny. Thanks for sharing it. I couldn't stop laughing.

[shelly]

Oh No, Jane!  And.. is your DH willing to go out in public again?  He must be some guy!  Too funny!

[Lorraine Bromley]

That guy probably was an arrogant no it all cat lover lawyer!!!!! Just kidding I love cats too. Can you imagine what A helmut head with googles looks like to our dogs. ALIEN comes to mind!!! Can't blame the poor guy. There is no good way to deal with diarrhea! It is almost as embarrassing as if you pooped your pants on the path! Glad he felt better though. We get back at them when we blame our farts on them though. They must think hey I don't smell that bad don't blame me!

[BG and Gavin]

I am laughing hysterically right now.  You paint quite a picture - you poor, poor DH with the poopy tupperware.  Hilarious!

[Donna K & Quincy]

LMAOROFL!!!