Who is in Charge Here?

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Lately, I have been reading more and more about some amazing Doodles we have here on DoodleKisses and it has gotten me thinking about Fudge and Vern.  I have been asking myself what special skills do my two dogs have and have we been working together as master and dog to the best of our abilities?  Unfortunately, if I am honest, I would have to say in our case the lines get fuzzy as to who is master and who is supposed to be listening to the other.  Sunday, I was doing yard work and Fudge wanted to play ball.  As I took some stuff to the garbage, I told her in a very firm voice that I was done playing ball and not to ask again, and the next thing I know I see the ball rolling past me down the driveway.  Apparently, she heard what I said and pushed her ball under the gate to let me know if she couldn’t fetch, then maybe I could.  Sure enough, I had to run down the driveway, across our street, and into the neighbor’s yard to “fetch” the ball and show her that I wasn’t kidding when I said we were done.  This isn’t the first time I have had enough of that ball and she has gone to the gate to let me know one of us still wants to play ball. 

The other thing she does that I swear is on purpose and designed to show me who is the boss is how she drops the ball.  I can’t fault her for her listening skills because when I say, “drop the ball,” she does, but somehow, no matter how my feet are positioned, she makes sure to drop it directly on one of my feet so it rolls just out of my reach.  I have tried standing with my legs farther apart, or if I am sitting, I cross them under me, but regardless of what I do, she consistently waits for my
“drop it,” and does so right on one of my feet.  It really is a talent, I think, and then she stands there as I am fumbling around for the ball or trying to dig it out from wherever it rolled to and looks at me like, “what is taking so long?” I find myself yelling at her, “stop dropping the ball on my feet,” and I swear she smiles. 

Oh, and before I hear she couldn’t possibly be doing it on purpose or maybe your feet are just that big, she is smart and devious and I defy anyone reading this to play ball with her before making up their mind.

 

I don’t know if I have the words “sucker” written somewhere on me, but it seems in the world of kids and dogs, I get taken advantage of on a regular basis.  Hayley had been complaining about a broken hair dryer for a while and despite the fact that I didn’t bite at first or really show much interest in the fact that her hair seemed to always be wet other than saying, “could you drip dry down in your room, please?” I know she was staying awake at night planning her strategy to get a new hair dryer without spending a dime of her own money.  Sure enough, she had the nerve to say one day, “mom, remember when I gave you my old hair dryer?  Well, my newer one broke and if I hadn’t given you that old hair dryer, I wouldn’t need to buy another one, so technically, you owe me a new one.”  “Are you kidding me?  You are a piece of work,” I smugly answered back.  I was still recounting her audacity to John with all the righteous anger I could muster as I was in line at TJ Maxx to pay for the new hair dryer. 

I guess since Hayley has been perfecting her “art of paying less,” techniques since infancy, I got hoodwinked by a pro or is it being hoodwinked if you know you are being played?  I still love to tell the story about the time in Target when she bought a $6.00 item, gave me the money so I could pay for it while she went off somewhere and when I said, “hey, what about the tax?’ she puffed up like a peacock and answered back that she refused to pay her own mother tax.  Megan loves to tell the story about how Hayley put my Mother’s Day gift, a “World’s Best Mother” shirt, in my cart and walked away at check out time.  Of course, when she retells the story, she leaves out half of the pertinent data and always concludes with I bought myself a “World’s Best Mother” shirt because my kids never did. It makes me look a little pathetic, but seems to evoke laughter whenever she tells the story, which is often.

 

On more than one occasion when dealing with my kids or dogs, I have turned to John and said, “do you see the word dumbass written on my forehead?” only to have him answer back that he doesn’t see ass.  Even sweet Vern has my number and he will stay silent for just so long until he decides it is walk time and then he leads the brigade of Doodles that begin to shadow me, prevent me from moving about freely, try to hypnotize me with unwavering stares, block my path as I attempt to turn away from the door leading to the car, and eventually herd me like a couple of cattle dogs into the car.  Even as I am protesting that I am too busy to go for a walk, I am putting the keys in the ignition and backing out of the driveway.  Yesterday, I was trying to talk to the neighbor lady and Fudge was walking around me with a stick hanging out of her mouth like a stogy and Vern was alternating eating large clumps of grass and chomping sticks and both of them know full well I was trying to ignore them. 

I think the piece de resistance was when they both jumped up over the stone wall into the new area John just made between our houses, outlined in deer fencing, to begin wrestling between my neighbor and me and when that was over, Fudge decided it was time to go number two in full view of both of us.  First of all, Fudge still won’t jump onto our bed, but had no trouble clearing our stone wall, which is higher.  Secondly, she usually loves to wait to go to the bathroom on our walks until we are at the furthest point away from any trashcan, so I have to carry it for miles, so I was pretty sure this was her way of saying, "here's what I think about conversing with neighbors when we should be up at the park."   No, they were behaving like my toddlers when I used to get on the telephone and they took that opportunity to find trouble while I was distracted.  It is funny how they both found ways to make me stop talking.

 

John says I am too lenient and he loves to mimic me and stand behind me and say, “I mean it, I am going to give you 50 more chances and then you are in big trouble.”   Most of the time I just turn around and say, “John, I am going to give you 50 more years of wedded bliss, because when I said until death do us part I meant it,” which I have found almost immediately scares him into silence.  Just between you and me, he may have a point, but I don’t have time to ponder it right now, because Fudge and Vern are letting me know it is time for another walk.

[Deanna & Desi & Cori]

So funny (as always) and so relatable!  I'm thinking Sedona could make a few bucks by opening her own "Puppy Kindergarten" class, only hers would focus on teaching the puppies how to train their humans.  Sedona has mastered the "drop the ball at the master's feet" technique, and has even added an element of mind reading.  No matter where we're sitting, Sedona will carefully position her squeaky ball in the exact place we'll take our first step when we stand up.  SQUEAK - she comes running ready to play!!!

And Sedona is a world class starer.  I've written before about the intricate evening choreography that she and Doug perform each evening.  Sedona stares, Doug responds, Sedona stares again, Doug responds again, and so it goes until her majesty has her needs satisfied.

And Laurie, if you think Megan and Haley have your number, just wait until the grandchildren arrive!!!  

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Donna, Glad to see you got rid of that company :) No, I certainly did not raise fools. LOL Can my mother say the same thing?

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Marnie, I have so many more pictures of Vern like that it is unbelievable :) Yes, don't husbands have a way of making it so much clearer for us? LOL I loved your Stanlee story. He sounds ornery like my Fudge. God help you...LOL! Thanks!

Jane, You are one of my hero's when it comes to dogs. I need you to visit and teach me Photoshop and my dog's how to listen :) You wouldn't leave here for years. LOL Thanks, Jane!

Thanks, Lynda. Yes, I do love my Doodles :)

Lori, Thank you!  It is always good to smile first thing in the morning.

Sheila, You are putting words in my mouth. I never once said I have no life :) Who has been talking to you? LOL Thank you!

DJ, Chance is too cute to cause problems :) LOL  Fudge just likes showing me that I work for her!!

Charlotte, OMD...Fudge does all kinds of goofy things when I open the door. She looks at me and then I have to move away from the door and then she might think about exiting the door. This just started recently, so who knows what is next? I loved your Bo and BJ stories.....dragging a throw rug around is pretty darn smart. Very hard to ignore. Thank you!

[Donna K & Quincy]

Laurie, You didn't raise no fools. :>)))))

[Marnie, Stanlee's Mom]

BTW - the picture of Vern with the leaves all stuck in his mouth and beard?  PRICELESS!!!

[Marnie, Stanlee's Mom]

Oh these doods are so much smarter than our family gives them credit.  My husband’s favorite comment is “he’s not going to mind if you don’t make him listen.”  Really Babe?  Make him listen? Oh, Stanlee hears me JUST fine, he just don’t want to do as I ask.  Maybe he’s learned a thing or two FROM YOU! 

Stanlee’s favorite game of fetch includes running to retrieve whatever it is I throw, prancing back to me with his prize in him mouth, standing right in front of me and as I reach for the object to throw it again he very slowly turns his heads so the object is JUST out of reach.  He would rather back up four paces and drop it so that I have to retrieve it to throw it again.  By the end of playtime, we have traveled the entire length of the yard just from me “retrieving” whatever Stanlee is retrieving.  LOL 

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Oh Yes....I also live in your "Doodle ruled" world, Laurie.  It's the staring that gets me every time.  Murph has perfected this to a fine art....it's impossible to ignore.  Another great blog.

[Lynda Kamrath]

Love reading your stuff and I can SO relate - of course I can't write like this.  Aren't doodles just the greatest?

[Lori, Quincy & Frankie]

great blog, great pictures- thanks for starting my morning off with a nice laugh or 50.  

[Sheila & Finnley]

Oh Laurie, a pure and loving doodle mother. You do not have to be ashamed to say that you have no life, besides playing ball, and that the sweet fur babies rule you. It's nothing that any good doodle owner wouldn't be doing ! Besides, it's the payoff. You drive the fleas right off of them taking pictures of them, and in return they get you to walk them and play ball. It's all good !!

Great blog :)