Bad behaviour getting worse :(

[Christine and Daisy]

Hi All:

 

I am saddened that my puppy whom I've only had for one week is beginning to exhibit some really negative behaviour. She is 4 months old and keep jumping up on the couch where she is not allowed. Everytime we catch her up there we tell her "NO" and grab her collar. Usually she gets off on her own. I did a search on the site on couch jumping and couldn't find anything that supported ways of keeping her off as the majority of people allow their dogs on.  I would love to have her on the couch but at the moment, I believe, she is thinking she's Alpha which we are trying to discourage. She's not sleeping in our bed either.

This new behaviour that we are getting a really good taste of is whenever she's on the couch and we ask her to get down she doesn't listen to "No" or a hand clap. We can't even reach her to pull her off with her collar as she darts back and forth away from us. At one point we were both trying to grab her and she started growling at us! Finally one of us grabbed her collar and my husband said "No" to which she responded by running frantically around the livingroom jumping up on us and biting us like crazy. Bites that hurt with her puppy teeth. He took her by the collar over to her crate and put her in because we didn't know what else to do with her, she was totally out of control.

 

This is our first dog, we read books and we watched a well known dog trainer (not Cesar Millan) show beforehand. At the moment we are doing obedience lessons with her daily. I get up at 5:15 am to start her day with a walk, then she goes out two more times/day. She has a backyard to run around in, we play ball with her.  We are affectionate with her. I just don't know why she's acting his way all of a sudden or how to handle it. I really need some pointers with how to deal with her acting out behaviour.

 

Thanks for any tidbits!!

 

 

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

As everyone says, you are not alone. Husband and I do not have human kids either - I think our mini doodle certainly gave us a taste of what a baby might be like - constant supervision, many breakdowns, really! I cried for the first few weeks on a normal basis. I felt the same things Leigh was saying. All I can say is that at 13 months, Peri is by no means perfect, but she is the perfect girl for us. We love her so much - the zoomies have subsided - she had one that lasted 5 minutes last week, but had not had one in over a month. We actually enjoyed it and realized we missed her bigtime puppy stage. Then we agreed it is better now LOL!

Be patient. Take some deep breaths. Do lots of training in all situations. Give her lots of love and I will tell you what - in less than a year you will not be able to imagine one day without your sweet girl =)

[Christine and Daisy]

Your reply brought tears to my eyes!

Last night I was just feeling so sad and helpless that this little girl became such a wild animal in a short period of time. That maybe I may have done something wrong to make her that way. However, everyone on this site is so bang on about everything I'm dealing with. I am so relieved to hear that its normal and it will pass eventually with good training. I really need to read the books that have been recommended to me and take a deep breath!

Thanks!

[Christine and Daisy]

That thought has definitely come into my head. However, I wasn't about to do anything about it because I haven't even tried anything! I didn't really learn any tools on how to deal with this and that til last night. I would never in a million years just send her back to the breeder just because I thought she was too wild. I would feel like the biggest failure and I couldn't forgive myself.

The main reason why it even came up in conversation is because we specifically wanted a non-shedding dog and while the breeder told us initially she was not going to shed, it changed later to yes she is shedding and shedding more than the breeder had ever seen in a dog. When I discussed with hubby, his concern was the hair since he's not big on the cat hair being everywhere. So, the solution is that we will have to vaccuum/sweep a little more often than before!

She is not going back and while her puppy behaviour has made it hard to love her 100%, I just can't do that. I am way too big of an animal lover and have always rescued adult cats and kittens from the shelters my entire life. I am a believer in forever homes not giving up.

[Jaime and Barley Barker]

Hi Christine,

I'm sure I'm probably repeating most of what everyone else has been saying, but I wanted to encourage you. You are not alone! My puppy Barley is about 5-1/2 months old now and does many of the exact same things as Daisy. Like other posters have said, Daisy is just being a puppy. My family has a total of four dogs, though Barley is "my" first puppy (the other three dogs are my mother's). We have had three of the dogs since they were puppies, and they were all obnoxious at that age. Around four months of age, Barley tried pushing his limits with us, including "back talking" and "snippy-snapping." I ignored that, and he has gently learned that just because he doesn't want to do something, it doesn't mean it's not going to happen. It's just a matter of being consistent with your training. I've taken him to an AKC S.T.A.R. puppy kindergarten class and that helped immensely. We are now in the advanced puppy K class. As new dog owners, I suggest you and your husband join a class.

Barley also likes to leap from couch to couch when he gets very excited. I learned in the puppy K that a natural calming position is for a dog to lay on its side. This is very useful at the vet. So, when Barley gets really crazy, I get him into a sit, then a down, and then the "settle" position on his side while I rub his belly and give him a treat for "settling". It works well.

Another thing Barley loves to do is steal clothes (socks, underwear, pants, whatever) and decorative pillows. Ironically, his favorite is the one that says "I Love Cats." Anyway, I've learned that his motivation for doing this is the attention I give him and chasing him. Negative attention is still attention and good in his eyes. In fact, one day I completely ignored him when he grabbed the pillow. He went behind the couch, and then stuck his head out and peeked at me with the pillow in his mouth as if to say, "Why aren't you following me?!" Then he laid down bored. I'm learning not to chase him and waiting until he lays down with the object. I then say "Give", take the item gently from his mouth, and exchange it for one of his toys. So, when Daisy does something she isn't supposed to do such as jumping on the couch, try re-directing her with one of her favorite toys so she doesn't associate the redirection as a punishment (i.e., positively reinforcing her good behavior). I have a variety of toys for Barley such as a Kong stuff-it toy, ropes, nylabones, stuffed animals, etc. so he doesn't get bored. I recommend that you don't grab Daisy by the collar, especially over her head or from behind. That can be a very threatening gesture to a dog, which might be why she started growling at you. She's still getting to know you and your husband, and sudden movements like that could scare her and break her trust. I usually touch Barley on the shoulder and pet him first to get his attention, and then I gently take him by the collar if I need to lead him.

Also, keep in mind that doodles tend to be very hyper dogs anyway. We've had collies, shelties, and a St. Bernard/Pyrenees mix. I have to say that our goldendoodles have been the most challenging dogs we've had. We actually have two doodles now, the older one named Daisy Mae. Daisy was obnoxious as a puppy and was pretty hyper until she was two years old. She just couldn't help herself. When she turned three, something "clicked" and she calmed down a lot. She's now four years old, and is probably the best behaved dog we have. All of this to say just hang in there, be patient, and be consistent. Your Daisy will grow out of this stage, I promise!

Best,

Jaime

[Christine and Daisy]

Jaime:

That's hilarious about the "I Love Cats" decorative pillow!! If only Barley knew...

We are definitely wanting to do the puppy classes, but she just arrived and is still building her trust and confidence with us. I am not sure that she's ready for the class yet. She is still working on coming when being called and being calmer around people. Though I did see a big improvement today and I'm really proud of her for that.

Thanks for telling me that about the collar and neck thing. I wasn't aware of that and will not do that again. The last thing I want to do is break what little trust we have so I'm a little sad about that because I can totally see that's how she was feeling.

I have heard so many people say that the 'puppy' mode doesn't pass as early as other breeds. At least I know what I have to look forward too!

[Adina P]

Oh don't worry about puppy class being 'too much' -- it's mostly for the things you are dealing with.  No need to wait on it.  It's not a hard core obedience class.

[Jaime and Barley Barker]

Ironically, Barley loves our cats...to chase them that is! We're working on that. I'm using the "Leave it" command for the cats too, not just underwear and socks.

I agree with Adina. Puppy kindergarten is really basic and I found it cathartic. It is usually for puppies aged 8 to 20 weeks. I had my puppy for almost two weeks before we started class. I found it to be a good bonding time with Barley, and it gave me confidence as I worked with him. (Barley is my first puppy too, though I've grown up with other puppies and dogs in our family.) Our trainer starts the class with a time for us to ask specific training questions, including house training, nipping, jumping and any other behaviors you might be experiencing. You might find that really helpful. We work on basic things such as eye contact, sit, come, down, leave it, "excuse me" when the puppy is jumping up, etc. Those are things you might be working on already. We then have a puppy potty break. The last ten minutes is puppy playtime. It's a great opportunity to socialize your puppy with other puppies. Age 8 to 20 weeks is an important window of time for socialization, especially if you live in a single-dog home.

I learned about the collar and neck thing from a basic obedience class with one of our other dogs. And sure enough, I noticed how all our dogs would flinch when we'd grab their collars. It's easy to forget though. I've grabbed Barley by the collar. He's usually very mellow, but it surprised him and he nipped at me. A calm owner makes for a calm dog. Now I make sure I say his name first to get his attention and put my hand on his shoulder. Then I put my other hand on his collar, speaking calmly as I do so, I think it's the sudden grab that scares dogs. I've definitely made mistakes so far, but I'm happy to say that Barley has forgiven me. I tend to kick myself and feel terrible when I make mistakes with him, thinking I'm scarring him for life. Now I'm trying not to get stressed about it and just enjoy having him. There were times I thought, "I don't really like my puppy!" However, the patience and consistency are winning out and we've bonded really well. So, be confident. The more you work with Daisy and spend time with her, that trust will naturally build.

Yep, the puppy mode definitely lasts a while. However, as I type this my family's four -year-old doodle Daisy Mae is calmy curled up with me on the bed,. There were days I wanted to strangle her, but she's a great dog now and a good role model for Barley.

[shelly]

Yes.. I agree about the collar thing. One time Tori stole something - I don't even remember what now... and ran under my son's sleigh bed... I was getting madder by the second! And she knew it. I did what every irresponsible dog owner does.... I actually had a power struggle with her... (VERY dumb idea - but I was sooo mad) When I reached under to take away whatever she had, she bit me and drew blood. She never saw my hand coming and only heard me yelling and probably felt trapped. I was soooo angry at her, but when I finally calmed down, I realized that it was all my fault. She was just protecting herself and her 'possession'. Ever since that day, I have learned to respect her and never act in such an animalistic way again... I just LOVE her so much - now!

[Jaime and Barley Barker]

I also lost my temper once and had a power struggle with my puppy. After Barley's first bath, I thought he was completely dry so I tried to brush him. He kept growling at the brush and finally at me. I couldn't understand it because he usually is fine with being brushed. I started getting stressed and kept trying to brush him until he bit at the brush and finally at my arm that held the brush. He didn't clamp down hard, he just grabbed at my wrist. I was boiling mad...until I realized that he had some really bad mats caused by his bath. I had been hurting him and didn't realize it. I created the situation and caused it to escalate into a power play. I won't do that again! Poor boy. I didn't try for the rest of the night. The next morning, the mats were mysteriously gone and I brushed him with no problem. I think his hair hadn't completely dried when I had first tried to brush him. Thank goodness puppies are so forgiving.

[shelly]

Amen to that, Jaime!

[shelly]

Jaime... that seems to be a very popular name! My sister's Italian greyhound is named Daisy Mae! Cute...
P.S. Tori loves to steal items too... she's become quite good at it... it's as if she tiptoes up to them and carries them away ever so quietly into her hiding spot! Too funny!

[Jaime and Barley Barker]

Yes, you're right. Daisy has become a really popular name! I call Barley my little kleptomaniac. It's good to know I don't have the only one. It's funny when he tattles on himself.