Help! To Bring Or Not To Bring?

[Camilla and Darwin]

My family is going up to our cabin this weekend. I am so excited, because it will be the first big trip we have taken Darwin on. I kind of assumed since it's a rustic cabin... they would be okay with Darwin inside... NOT!

They told me he wasn't allowed in the cabin. Well, that is alright... I guess. There is a big porch and a wide open area that we could place his crate on. We will most likely be outside for most of the day, at the fire pit, by the pond, hiking, etc. They also said he could sleep with us inside, otherwise we wouldn't even consider it. 

My question... he is not on Frontline, because the vet has said that fleas and ticks are not common in our area. If we gave him Frontline today... would it be in effect by Sunday? Would the collar be enough to protect him? It is still freezing every night where our cabin is, and the highs are only around 55 every day. Is that too cold for Fleas and ticks to be abundant? 

Do you think it's safer to just board him, or should we just get a flea+tick collar, and deal with having to keep him outside the whole time? 

[Donna K & Quincy]

I'm with Lucy and Shophie's mom, love me love my dog. My parents aren't dog lovers either but they would never make me leave Quincy outside. As a matter of fact on a recent visit home I heard my mom offering to make toast for Quincy. I think I would rather not go than have to worry about the doodle all the time.

[F, Calla & Luca]

I have had ticks active here in NJ in December. The Frontline probably would be absorbed by Sunday, I think.

[Frannie & Callie]

Hey Camilla - I have no sage advice here, just feeling for you and Darwin in what is just a difficult situation. Families can be the best AND the worst! While my immediate family are all dog people, they are all small dog people, the largest being about 15 lbs. You would think I was bringing a mastadon into their homes when Callie and I come to visit. While I appreciate that I get to bring her, I sometimes resent their attitudes on her size.

[Camilla and Darwin]

The classic prejudice against big dogs. HATE that! It's good that they are dog people, though. DH's family aren't dog people, but they let Darwin in the house and have grown to like him... it's nice to have that!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

This is such a hard decision because I remember that you are very very attached to your family and really want to spend as much time with them as possible so the "love me, love my dog" stance probably won't work for you.
Two questions though:
1) Is it your parents' cabin or a rental?
2) If there is money being paid - are you paying a portion?
If it is your parents' cabin or they are paying all of the expenses then I think they have the right to call all of the shots - even though I disagree with their position. If you are paying your share, then you do have the right to make some of the decisions.
I really like the tent suggestion for this trip. I have friends who spend a few days in Yosemite every year in a tent when it is really cold and they love it. They just take a down feather bed for underneath their really good sleeping bags.
For the next time, I wonder if you might be able to rent a nearby cabin and just do lots of things with your family but eat at your cabin and spend evenings and early mornings there with Darwin before taking him over for the outdoor family activities.
The tent or a nearby cabin would be a good way to compromise. You spend lots of time with your family, but it is on your terms as an adult and not as Daddy's little girl who needs to 'mind.'
We used to go RVing with my parents all of the time. We both had our own RVs and spent lots of time together but had separate time also. We go RVing with my kids all of the time and we let them bring their dogs and make messes that I wish they wouldn't but I love having them spend time with us. - The point of this is that as a young adult I respected my parents, but was separate too; and now as the old adult, I compromise because I want the company of my kids.

[Camilla and Darwin]

I appreciate the advice. There is no money being payed towards the cabin It's my family's cabin. Actually, the interesting thing is that it's actually my grandparent's, and all my extended family uses throughout the year. Other families who have stayed in the cabin (my uncles, aunts, cousins, etc...) have had an indoor dog with them at one time or another. My grandparents don't own dogs, but are definitely tolerant of them. We go there frequently, and even have family reunions there. This "mandate" or decision was based on the fact that my dad doesn't want Darwin to "mess up" the cabin, and doesn't want him to be inside with the family. (He really hates dogs.... have I mentioned that? ha ha)

I don't feel that I have the right to insist, or go around my parents to ask my grandparents, because it's their weekend, and they planned it. I don't want to directly go against my dad... do you know what I'm saying?

Yes, I'm "very very attached" to my family... and I think the main reason is that my husband and I have only been married for a couple of years, have no kids, and live close by. I am really close with my siblings, so I enjoy doing family activities like trips with them. There is no way we could rent out a cabin, unfortunately. We are poor students, we can hardly afford the gas to drive up there! We don't own a tent.... let alone an RV. We could definitely borrow a tent... so that is something we will consider.

I can see how it seems odd for people to read about all of these holidays and vacations spent with my family. Most people do that on their own when they get married. It really doesn't seem weird to me though.. because well, DH and I are only 21! We have no plans to have kids soon... and all of my brothers and sisters are my age or younger, so we still enjoy doing things together. Same with DH and his family. Don't get me wrong, we certainly don't live there. We only visit every couple of weeks... but we like to "piggy back" vacations with my family, because we just can't afford to take our own trips! Sorry for the long winded explanation... but I think it may be confusing to some people as to why we do so much with them...

[F, Calla & Luca]

All understandable. You did get married very young and still are very young. I hope whatever you decide you enjoy the weekend. You certainly are young enough to "tent" it

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

I only used the RV as an example. We loved going on vacations with my parents - we were just lucky enough to both have RVs so we could have our own time when needed. I don't think it odd at all to go on vacations with your parents and family members. How wonderful to have a family cabin. I agree that you should not go behind your parents' back to your grandparents. If you could borrow a tent, you might start a trend with your siblings and have even more fun sleeping outside sometimes.
You will just have to decide what would be the best course of action for Darwin. Would he be safe outside, alone? Is there wildlife that could take advantage of a caged dog and attack? Would he be warm enough with his new haircut?
With time and exposure to Darwin, your dad might 'bend' so bringing him might be a good thing. Let us know what you decide. Whatever decision you make will be the right one because you are a very caring and thoughtful person. PS why don't you make your dad one of your famous cakes but in shape of a doodle and decorated like Darwin!!

[Camilla and Darwin]

Thanks so much for the compliment. I am definitely a novice dog owner but I am trying!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I don't know how much good a tent will do in this particular situation. It's already been agreed that Darwin can sleep inside. Are you and Jacob going to want to sit in a tent all evening? And leaving Darwin alone in a tent wouldn't be much better than leaving him alone in a crate on the porch. You'll also still have to leave him alone and go into the cabin to bathe, use the bathroom, eat dinner, etc. Unless we're talking about those huge tents that you can stand up and walk around in, like actual rooms, and that would cost far more than renting a motel room, I believe.
I'm glad you mentioned the fact that your dad is afraid of Darwin "messing up" the cabin. People who hate dogs seem to believe that a dog is like a wild animal who might urinate or defecate indoors at any time with no warning, and that there's no way you can ever be sure they won't. I just learned this recently during a conversation with a man who is foreign-born and doesn't want dogs in his home or indoors anywhere else he happens to be. Someone said "But most dogs are trained and won't 'go" in the house", and he said, "But you can't be sure of that, it's an animal. You can't know what an animal might do." Do you think your dad is afraid of that? Could you convince him that Darwin is housebroken and you can guarantee he won't mess in the house?
"Messing up" the cabin might also mean bringing in dirt. Maybe you could promise to wipe him down and clean his feet every time, before he comes inside. If your dad is afraid of dog hair indoors, Darwin doesn't shed, does he? Does your dad know that? And you could also tell him that Darwin is on Frontline, which kills fleas, in case he's worried about Darwin bringing fleas or bugs in. Maybe if you could pinpoint exactly what he is afraid might happen, he would trust that you will make sure it doesn't.

[Camilla and Darwin]

Interesting that you mentioned foreign born... my dad is Hispanic, and lived there until he was around 21. I think it is rooted in that, because having been where he grew up, NOBODY had indoor dogs. The only dogs I have ever seen there are either guard dogs, or dirty strays. I am not saying this is true for all of Mexico, simply the area he grew up in. He was attacked by a few of those strays as a child, so that probably has a lot to do with it as well. He thinks it is unnatural to have a dog in the house. I have given him an argument, saying that Darwin hasn't ever had an argument since puppyhood, is bathed regularly, is vaccinated, and doesn't shed. Didn't convince him. He simply doesn't like being around dogs.

He has raised eight kids, all of who have pooped, peed and dragged dirt into his house. Not to mention breaking things, and coloring on his walls! I have told him that kids are far more destructive than Darwin... but that argument didn't seem to work on him either... :-)

[Sally, Ditzy Mitzi & Sgt. Pepper]

Please don't get a flea collar! I should join the over 50's group probably, but I am remembering a very sad event several decades ago when my wonderful standard poodle was bitten by a stray german shepherd in our own back yard. Our poodle had worn flea collars for a long time, very popular back then. By the next day, his neck was swollen and we had to rush him to the vet. I had missed seeing a puncture wound and it had swollen up. He did not survive the after affects of this bite, the vet thought it may have been some kind of poison, even possibly anti-freeze which he was never near.. The only thing I could think of was the flea collar. I am sure they have improved the product by now, (or maybe not) but I would never ever get one again.