Introductions, tips and experiences

[Camilla and Darwin]

I was very worried when Darwin first met my nephew Wes. We weren't exactly sure how to introduce them in the correct way. We basically just had My sister hold the baby while standing and let Darwin smell his feet, then she sat down and we let Darwin approach, but I had him on a leash. 

He did well, but he got pretty excited. We don't see him more than once a week or so, and since the baby makes noises, and has general baby behavior, Darwin still gets excited to see him. I would like to hear advice on others who have trained their doodles to interact calmly with infants. Teaching them not to step on them, etc. I thought I would include a couple of photos of Darwin and my  nephew as well.... 

Darwin had just licked Wes' toes...

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

The photos are wonderful. I will be eagerly watching for everyone's suggestions.

[HeatherA]

Hey ladies!

I have two doodles - 14m and 11 weeks. I have three kids - 6yrs, 3.5y, and 18m. We have our fourth child due in Nov (but I doubt we will make it that long.)

It's hard, since I've always had kids and doodles for me to think off hand what I did differently. I few things that come to mind --

** Socialize your dogs with ALL types and ages of people as early as possible. My Mom had a mini-schnauzer that had never seen children and she was honestly *scared* of them. She didn't know what to think of these mini humans.

** Make sure your dog has a safe spot that the kids either are not allowed to go, or cannot get to. We crate train, and sometimes our dogs just need a break. Kids aren't allowed to reach in the crate, or crawl in the crate (not that we've been 100% successful in stopping every attempt).

** Put the dog up, outside or restrict them from kitchen when babies and toddlers are eating. Kids drop food. Dogs love this. I've found that my dogs will become aggressive about trying to take food from the kids and then it becomes a problem we need to correct. We learned this the hard way with Veruca, with Violet we just keep her away from the kitchen until I've had a chance to feed the kids and clean up the table. Also important is that kids will try to feed the dog, for my dogs safety I keep them away when the kids have snacks like grapes, raisins, or anything with chocolate.

** Know your dogs triggers. If Sparky gets very protective over their food bowl -- don't let the kids around Sparky when the food is down. Don't invite trouble. Kids will try to take things from dogs, especially toddlers. They don't understand, they aren't old enough to teach dog respect. My son Josh (the 18m) "hugs" our dogs, tries to reach in their dog bowl to hand feed them, takes bones away from them. Obviously, the best idea is to work with your dog and their trainer to correct the dogs behavior, but some of these things don't come up in an adult house that will with a child around. You might not realize the stuff a child will do.

** Stuff kids will do -- take away toys, treats, stick their hands in food bowls, play in water bowls, stick hands in dogs face, pull tails, give "hugs" (which sometimes turns in to a tackle or steam roll), petting can be difficult for bad coordination and it ends up being more of a bonk, they scream, they run, they cry, they get very excitable. Even the best kids that know how to behave around dogs will have their days.

It goes without saying that kids should be trained too - as early as possible to respect the dog and understand what is threatening/unacceptable behavior. But I am writing this assuming you don't have control over the child and how it's raised. Our son Josh was taught "Be nice" and a gentle petting motion under age 1. When he gets grabby, pully, etc.. we say "Be nice Josh" and he switches to petting.

I'll try to think of more things. I don't want to state the obvious, but I don't know what is and isn't obvious to people who haven't had a lot of kid exposure. :)

[Deanna & Desi & Cori]

Thanks! Lots of stuff to think about. I just copied and e-mailed your post to my very pregnant daughter who has two dogs - not doodles, though!

[Camilla and Darwin]

this is great, thank you!

[HeatherA]

Some more random thoughts.

Pay attention to when your dog is uncomfortable. Dogs give off definite body language. A dog is much more likely to bite when they are scared or anxious. If you see your dog trying to get away from the child, even if Mom and Dad are cooing "How cute he's trying to give Sparky a hug!" Speak up for your dog. Make sure your dogs space is respected.

Never leave the dog and child unattended. It only takes a second for the child or dog to do something out of character and you could have a serious problem. The age that you can really depends on the child and the dog. For my kids I would say around age 4, we start to give them more responsibilities. My daughter is 4 in Dec and she is just now starting to walk the dog outside in our fenced back yard. We still monitor it.

When we got Veruca, Gabe (my oldest) was 5. We had previously had a smaller Bichon. He knew how to behave around dogs and I trusted him. He was outside with an 12 week old Veruca and decided to carry her.. yes.. carry her on top of the swing set. The short version is that Veruca ended up in a cast with a hairline fracture. I have never been so furious and disappointed - with my son and myself. I don't even like to share that it happened - but it serves a purpose. Even very responsible kids will make a bad judgement call and it only takes a few minutes for the dog or a child to get seriously hurt. He isn't a malicious child, he wasn't trying to hurt her, it didn't occur to him that she COULD get hurt.

Kids don't really understand consequences and long term effects until much later. As the saying goes "Better safe, then sorry." Especially if the child isn't yours. Kids will do stuff that will blow your mind, kids will pick up a stick in the yard and whack the dog for NO apparent reason. Kids will grab a dogs back legs and try to walk them like a wheel barrel. So protecting the kids from the dog is just as much protecting your loved dog from the kids. You can't possibly punish the dog for reacting naturally to some of the things kids will do and kids will do things that never occurred to you. (I've had my daughter paint herself with lip stain, write on the wall, pour Comet all over the floor, cut her own hair... it's amazing how fast they get into something when you're busy changing a diaper, or nursing.)

The challenges that I face are training my kids and dogs at the same time. It's very hard to stop behaviors I don't like in the dogs that the kids reward. Our biggest challenges are the food issue, nipping/mouthing play and jumping up. Kids DO get rowdy - they run circles around the house, they pretend to fight imaginary people, they roll on the ground.. all of this is *very* much like puppies and dogs play amongst themselves. The dogs get excited, jump up on the kids, mouth at them and try to play too. If you have the chance to train your dogs not to jump up on strangers BEFORE the kids are old enough.. now is the time. It will slow you down considerably when the kids are playing. :)

Something else we do.. we make sure the dogs get "kid free" time at night. Since my kids are older, they are in bed by 8pm (sometimes with some struggle it's 9pm) We let the dogs out and about to enjoy the house with just us adults. We like the time with the dogs, and they get some snuggle and attention. Since we have multiple dogs, we take it one step further as we bond with our puppy... we let one dog out at a time so each dog gets some one on one. :)

All of that said, I've found my dogs to be VERY patient and gentle with my kids. They love the kids. The kids love them. Even my Moms new adoption that has never been around kids has been great with the kids. The dogs DO seem to understand that Josh is younger then Gabe. They show him a lot more patience. We've had hundreds of great experiences as a family with kids and dogs. It takes some adjusting, but you will be adjusting too. I've never had a dog be "jealous" of my kids, even my Bichon who was my baby before I had Gabe. My cat DID.. started going to the bathroom under the crib, all sorts of terrible acting out. My dog would whimper when the baby stirred. She was very protective of him, and she earned his first smile. Dogs are amazing and adaptable.. and it's really fun to watch them grow up together and play together.

[HeatherA]

I feel like I should put a disclaimer --- I am far from a professional trainer. I am just speaking from our experiences. I believe dogs are like kids.. in that they are all different. No one knows your dog better then you. I am just trying to give you a few heads up of things kids can do... situations your dog can be quickly thrown into that you never anticipated, and your dog has never had to experience before. Kids are great at that.

Never a dull moment, that is for sure!