Feeling like a bad mom

[Terra and Max]

When Max was about a year old we went to obedience training at the daycare we love. Well, what I didn't love was the trainer. She was insistent that dogs should only be petted when they have done something to deserve it, that they have no places on furniture, etc. I basically felt like she didn't want me to love Max as though he was my child as he wouldn't then respect me as the alpha in our home. Well, things happened and a couple classes were cancelled and I just never took him back.

Fast forward almost 3 years and I now have a dog that clearly never went through obedience training.He is a total crazy doodle! Now granted he doesn't counter surf or jump on people but he is a real nuisance on the leash and he LOVES to bark at anyone that comes within 100 feet of our house. I have the Gentle Leader which is entertaining to see how much it irritates him to have to wear it. He is such a pain though that I tend to prefer NOT taking him with me when I walk which I know isn't the right answer.

So my question is two part. 1) How do you find a good trainer BEFORE you attend and 2) is it too late to teach my crazy boy some proper manners?

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Personally, I do not think it is ever too late to train a dog. I would research (on line) trainers in your area and call and talk to them to see what method of training they use and also, see if you can find any reviews posted by people that attended the class.  You could call your vet too and ask for a recommendation. Good luck!!

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

It is never too late to teach manners however it is easier when they are young, now you have to change the rules instead of setting the rules.  As far as finding the right trainer - ask others who they like and use, call trainers and talk about your dog and what your goals are, find out their philosophy.  Then sit in on a class before you take your dog.  It is all about finding a great fit.  Good luck and let us know how you both do!

[Lindsey, Lee, Whopper and Simba]

We put both of our dogs through advanced obedience classes in a group environment.  Unfortunately, while our dogs were great in that setting, it didn't really translate to our home environment and the life we hope to have with two doodles.  One is now 3 and the other will be 2 in June and while they are loving and overall great dogs, we are now expecting our first human baby in March and there are certain issues we want corrected which include doorbell/greeting training, curbing the barking and excitement when they see things or people, proper stair behavior, and overall leash manners in all situations.  We have now had three sessions with Barkbusters who come out to your home and specifically work on your dogs issues in their own environment.  From the very first session we have noticed significant progress.  They aren't perfect yet but now we know how to tackle their specific issues in a way that works with their specific temperament.  Our dogs actually respond very differently. I also know that if we practiced the techniques as often as we should be (hard being 34 weeks pregnant and my husband works long hours) we'd be even further along.   It was not a cheap investment to say the least but here's how we rationalized: We paid a flat rate for the lifetime of each dog (the second was a significant discount and they were offering promotional discounts as well.  Now, any time a new issue or concern arises, we have a trainer who will come out and address that issue.  They will also work with us in our home, our neighborhood, a playground, an outdoor restaurant, or wherever else our particular dog has an issue.  With a baby on the way, we know that issues are continually going to surface and that we will need some guidance and it's reassuring to have them on standby to give advice over the phone or to come out without having to continually spend.  I don't know if there is one in your area but at this stage, I would definitely look into a trainer that will come and address you and your dogs needs specifically.   

[Terra and Max]

Barkbusters was what we tried first. The guy showed up 2 hours late reeking of alcohol. At that point we couldn't even get Max to sit on command and he was trying to work on doorbell training. Total disaster :-(

[Lindsey, Lee, Whopper and Simba]

That's awful.  I've heard the quality of their services is totally dependant on where you live.   Fortunately, we live in the area of their longest running franchise where they came highly recommended and we met with them and saw how they greeted and perceived our dogs before agreeing to anything.   

[Corinna and Krimmi]

I tried them too, didn't work out for us either :(

[Lindsey, Lee, Whopper and Simba]

I'm realizing we must be lucky.  We are happy with them here in Northern VA and I know my parents down in SC are noticing improvements with their rescue doodle with the help of Bark Busters but it totally is trainer dependent. 

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I agree with this, especially since your dog is not a puppy and hasn't had any obedience training in the past. I'm not sure a class is going to give you what you need with Max.  He's had a long time to "practice" some bad behaviors so you're going to need to teach him an alternative way of acting....a whole new set of expectations. You mention that your original trainer did not want you to love Max as if he was your child.  I really think that any good trainer would feel the same way.  I think many of us love our Doodles as much as we would love a child, but treating them like a child rather than a dog can create lots of problems.  I'm not sure if that's what you meant here, but I will share that my trainer has caught me treating my guys like a child a few times, and he was quick to set me straight about that and how it was not a good thing for the dogs. I have no experience with Bark Busters....I think it sort of depends on the individual trainer.  If they are in your area, that may be a good place to start....but I would definitely interview the individual trainer and ask for references.  I also think many Vets are aware of good trainers in the area...that's where I found my trainer.

You ARE a good Doodle Mom because you've recognized that there is a problem and you are trying to find a solution.  You may want to join our Training Group where there are lots of discussions on many of the same issues you're facing with Max.  Good Luck and please keep us posted.

[Adina P]

That's an important difference Jane pointed out.  You can love your dog AS MUCH AS you would a child, but you can't treat them LIKE you would a child.  To love properly we have to give the beloved what they need and a dog needs different treatment and expectations than does a child.  Doesn't mean you have to be unduly harsh or never give them snuggles, but how and when might make the difference between the dog behaving in a way that makes you happy and the dog behaving in a way that frustrates you daily.

[Terra and Max]

For me it was very discouraging when the trainer would scold me for petting Max. Well, I love the dog. I want to engage with him. He's not a circus performer though and shouldn't have to perform for attention. Atleast not in my mind. So, I will join the training group and see what I can learn. Unfortunately I can't even ask my vet as I am in between those right now. Thank god Max has been healthy this year as she unfortunately passed away not very long ago and I haven't established with a new one yet. Poor Max...now I really feel like I have neglected him.

[Adina P]

One way to look at it is that while you're in the middle of training, petting can have a lot of power.  It can be a HUGE reward.  However, if it is doled out for anything and nothing during training time, then it becomes meaningless and thus a huge reward is just 'mundane' snuggling for the dog.  Then it has less power to be useful in training.  Treats may not always be in your pocket, but you always have your hands and voice and if you can keep those two things meaningful to the dog you get a lot further.  That doesn't mean you really have to never give attention except when a dog is obeying a command, but it does mean you have to consider the attention you give to see if it is helping or hindering progress.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I think this is a perfect way to look at it....and it took me a long while to really "get" the distinction.  Affection is a hugely powerful reward for good behavior.....but it it's doled out "willy nilly" it loses all of it's power.