Who Wants Fudge and Vern? Jumping on the Bandwagon Here!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

There have been several discussions lately about what happens to your dogs if something happens to you.  I know this will surprise all of you, but I had actually written a blog about this same subject back in November and never put it out there because I was waiting for the right time.  Someday, I will post that blog, but for now I need to know who is going to take Fudge and Vern if something happens to me and my husband is too busy celebrating grieving to properly care for them.  Sure, he says now that no one is ever getting his dogs, but what if he meets some floozy who uses her feminine wiles to have her way with him and keeps whispering in his ears, “there is more where that came from IF you get rid of those dogs.”  A part of me doesn’t know if he will fall for this ruse because I have not had much luck when I whisper in his ears.  In fact, the other night I tried it and first he said, “Did you just spit in my ear?” and then when I blew again and said, “just looking at you turns me on, “ he started clapping his hands together and said, “Clap off!”  On the other hand, if she whispers in his ears, cooks a good home cooked meal for him, and happens to mention she loves to watch the Tour de France, it is only a matter of time before Fudge and Vern will be watching the two of them ride off into the sunset on their tandem bike with a string of Gatorade cans dragging behind.  

 

Before I choose Fudge and Vern’s guardians, and keep in mind, my husband has said on more than one occasion that if he ever gets out of this marriage, he is never ever dating or marrying again, but just in case, I want a backup.  I also want all of you to be on the look out for a change in my moniker and if you wake up one day and see Bunny, Fudge and Vern or Bambi, Fudge and Vern, you know I have been replaced and I want all of you to swarm my house like a bunch of brides running for the big sale at Filene’s Basement and get my two doodles to my approved DK guardian home. He might put up a fight, so I want Karen and F to lead the way. The best time to spring Fudge and Vern is either early in the morning when my husband is in the bathroom, right after work when he is in the bathroom, or between 6-7 pm when Daniel Boone is on or he is in the bathroom.  

 

Some things I am NOT looking for, because it will confuse Fudge and Vern and make the transition harder, are the following:

 

• Thin, sexy people.
• A good dresser.
• Someone with a good singing voice.
• Someone who drives cautiously and within the speed limit.
• A good dog trainer. Must be willing to fight on walks with spouse about dog training and who is doing it correctly.
• A jogger. Prefer a person whose jogging and/or running looks exactly like their walking.
• A quiet person.
• A patient person.
• Person who likes to stretch out in bed.
• Person who values their privacy in the bathroom.

 

 

Other than that, Fudge and Vern stay together and should get lots and lots of hugs and kisses every single day. Also, the last thing I say every night before falling asleep is, “I love you, Fudge…I love you, Vern….oh, and I love you DH!”  I would like this to continue, although you can leave out the "I love you Laurie's DH," part.  We are now open for applications and I would prefer a short essay telling me why you think your home would be good for Fudge and Vern!!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

ROFLMAO!

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

I think I could be a potential candidate; however, we would be a little crowded with Fudge and Vern!

1. I am on the thinner side, but very short, thus not "sexy" to many...

2. Not in with the current fashions.  I am very used to being in casual workout clothes unless I am at work!  This is good for the dogs since workout clothes = walks.

3. I think I can sing pretty well but Tacky and Peri sometimes hide....maybe I should take a hint?

4. DH doesn't let me drive because I am "too angry".

5. I have successfully gotten Peri to pass CGC but you wouldn't know it by lookin' at her...

6. I hate jogging.  My dad and I are in good shape but hate jogging and blame it on our short legs. We are not meant to run.

7. Not quiet at all.

8. Not patient at all. Grandma always tells me "remember Allyson, patience is a virtue" and I say "it's not one of mine!"

9. I am in a ball, sharing space with tacky and Peri, who climbs up in the wee hours....

10. I pretty much just leave the door open to avoid Peri trying to open it herself (and she can).

 

There...what do you think?  I would be a good home because they would have a big yard (fence coming soon), vacations to the beach to see family, and very good food always.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Allyson, You sound perfect :) Would Tacky be ready for 90 pound Vern? LOL

[Doris, Knox & Flash]

I'm loving this!

[Julie, Izzie & Max]

Fudge and Vern are always welcome here.  I don't know if I meet all your criteria.

I don't consider myself thin or sexy. Neat and clean with no visible holes or stains is good style to me.  As a child, I was once slaped by the cat for singing "In Your Easter Bonnet".  I usually drive a little over the speed limit.  My dog training skills lack something to be desired.  My husband and I don't agree on how to train either.  My walking and jogging are exactly the same.  Most people say I am quiet though.  I can be impatient.  I do like to stretch out in bed but I usually have a dog I have to work around.  I do like privacy in the bathroom. 

But even though I don't meet all the qualifications.  We would welcome them as part of our family.

 

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thank you, Julie!!  I liked all your qualifications, especially the "Easter Bonnet" story. You sound perfect. I have so many good applicants.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

As a child, I was once slaped by the cat for singing "In Your Easter Bonnet". 

 

This is my favorite sentence of the week! ROFL!

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

oh gawd, too funny. can't stop laughing. I love this discussion.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

 Of course I could say that I am thin, sexy and a good dresser - however, since beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, some might disagree with myassessment. :-}

• I was substitute teaching in a kindergarten class once when I sang the days of the week song.  A little girl raised her hand and said that in her after-school program they sang a song with just the same words but with a different tune!  That was a quote! I have never lived that one down.
• DH and I weren't walking the dogs but we were bickering over who should ask whom to get out the cheerios for our breakfast! And of course, when we each took a dog to our training class, we argued over what the trainer told us to do for homework - we decided that even though we were there at the same time, we must have attended  a different class.
• Jogging in our family is only for the youngsters.
• Does a quiet person try to ask DH a question from upstairs to down stairs?
• I was a special ed teacher so I do have patience for those that need it, but for those that don't...... not a chance.
• Stretch out in bed? Huh? With two dogs sleeping at the foot of my side of the bed, I don't even know what stretching out would be like.
• Our master bathroom is separated from the bedroom only by a fireplace - so privacy is only a dream.

• Ned and Clancy use a doggie door year round cuz here in So. Cal it is never too cold to have that available. Could Fudge and Vern adapt to an always available potty instead of walks in the freezing-cold dead-of-night?

[F, Calla & Luca]

Nancy your picture made be gagag smile.

[Pat and Traveler]

How about the meat dress...wonder if she was followed by a pack of hungry canines and felines?

[F, Calla & Luca]

Was there ever anything more disgusting but if we know about it then surely it was good PR.