Dear Varmint!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Dear Varmint,

 

You recently moved into our neighborhood and I would like to inform you that we have a neighborhood watch and their names are Fudge and Vern. 

They know the comings and goings of all neighbors, strangers, animals, and especially varmints.  

The last few nights have been tough on them and the people they live with because you are out there doing something past our bedtime.  Article 3, section 2, in the handbook you were given when you moved in, clearly states that all nighttime activity must conclude by 11 pm and not resume before 7 am.  Last night, there was activity at 2 am, 4 am, and again at 6 am.  We know this because the neighborhood watch was busy running from window to window; barking and carrying on like a couple of dancing hyenas.

 

This is your first warning to stop all nighttime activity.  If you continue to disobey this notice, you will be evicted from this neighborhood one-way or the other.  Please spread the word amongst your deer friends, cat friends, and any other friends that go bump in the night.  I don’t want to scare you or make idle threats, but if the lady of the house has to come out there some night in her bathrobe, rubber boots, and Edward Scissorhands hairdo, because the neighborhood watch has interrupted her beauty rest, it isn’t going to be pretty, and I don’t just mean the lady of the house. 

Just out of curiosity have you ever seen the show Swamp People?

Let’s try and be neighborly from here on out and keep our cavorting to a minimum after the designated hours. We appreciate any help you can give us in this matter.

 

Sincerely,

 

The Neighborhood Watch and their Tired Owners

[Charlotte and Bo]

A few years ago I found a mouse sitting in the bottom of an old mixing bowl I was using as a water bowl for my last dog.  There was still about an inch of water in it and that was one soggy mouse looking up at me.  I took the bowl and mouse outside, told him not to come back, and tossed the water and mouse into the yard.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Charlotte, Poor little mouse :) LOL

[Regina and Hurley]

Oh my gosh! That is too funny....!! Love it :)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Regina :)

[Leslie and Halas]

LOL.  Even though your warning is polite, I have a feeling that the varmint will sense the hostility behind the message, and will move on.  Or go out of his way to taunt Fudge and Vern even more.  It could really go either way.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

LOL....please leave, little varmint :)

[Bonnie and Kona]

Oh my goodness. I want to know what prompted you to think you could find a picture of dancing hyena's on google or did you write the whole blog in order to use said picture? I love reading everything you write. Think how rich you would be if you would just write this stuff to sell... Watch out JKRowling!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Bonnie. It is all out there on the Internet :)

[Pat and Traveler]

LOL--hope the varmits quite down.  I'd be horrified if Trav barked in the middle of the night.  Fortunately, he values his beauty sleep too, and it would take something pretty loud and unusual to wake him.  Of course, we live in the city and there are traffic sounds, neighbors arriving and departing at all hours, sirens, etc.  :)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

OMD....Vern would be barking all night. Fudge values her sleep, but she can be persuaded by Vern to bark....LOL!! Trav is a good dog :)

[Rose Ann and Amante]

LMAO I have to tell you that my 7 year old daughter loves to play Polly Pockets and watch swamp people on DVR!!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

LOL...I have never seen the show, just the promos :) My DD used to love to eat a snack and watch the true life ER shows. Nothing bothered her.