Lovin' Touchin' Squeezin'

[BG and Gavin]

A recent discussion brought to light something that I did not know:  dogs do not like to be hugged.  People posted examples and videos showing the stress that dog’s display while being hugged.  I suppose I never thought of it before.  I was raised with horses and my dad taught me to always approach from the side (not head on as they can get a better look at you this way) do not move suddenly, work in close to a horse and maintain physical contact when you are out of their sight so they feel where you are as well as sing, whistle softly or talk to give them further information that you are there. 

I began to think about how Gavin approaches me when he wants physical contact.  The most common thing he does is sit up nice and tall with his back to me as close as he can (sometimes sitting on my feet).  I call this his ear scratch invitation.  Another thing he does is rest his chin on some part of my body (lap, hand or even shoulder when in the car).  I call this the chin scratch invitation.  The third thing he does is put his head down and literally bury it in my chest.  I call this the shoulder rub invitation.  I also give him chest rubs, particularly during training.

When we were in puppy K, the trainer said it was important to “own” every part of your dog’s body so that he knows you have the right to touch it whenever you want.  As a puppy, every evening, when Gavin was relaxed and lying on his bed, I would play the “I own this game.”  I would systematically touch him all over, every toe, tug on his ears, curl back his lip, touch his teeth, tongue, nose, belly, you name it… and softly tell him “I own this, and this, and that and this.”  Some of the spots I touched likely annoyed him a bit, but it became almost like a relaxation exercise. 

So, how does your dog ask for affection?  What is the best way to interact physically with your dog?  How did you socialize him to being “handled,” particularly by children?

[F, Calla & Luca]

Luca will come up next to me and sit and give some verbal invitation. He is my verbalizer. Calla will come to me, either next to me when I'm sitting somewhere or jump on the bed with me. Then she starts putting her paw under my hand. Sometimes she bats me with her paw. I touched my dogs all over too. I still do since I groom them, give them pills daily, put gel on their teeth etc. They are not fond of it all but they tolerate it all from fingers down gullets and so forth.

[BG and Gavin]

Yes, when you have to shove medication down, its nice to know your hand will emerge with all fingers in tact.

[Lori, Rooney & Zuzu]

First, as a side note, I highly recommend Patricia McConnell's book The Other End of the Leash for a fascinating look at what we do know and what don't know about dog behavior.  I never would have imagined I'd be so riveted by a book written by an animal behaviorist but I read it cover to cover.  Loved it and learned so much.

Just like people, I do believe that many aspects of a dog's temperament are inborn and therefore they are either easier or harder to train and socialize. That said, our Rooney (at 5 months old) currently is showing all the signs of growing into the type of dog who will tolerate all kinds of human behavior whether he "likes it" or not.  However, because of the book I mentioned above, I am very careful about not expecting him to tolerate too much of anything that I know goes against his basic dog nature.  I am teaching my 7 year old daughter to read his signals and respect when he is quietly letting her know he's had enough.

We too made sure to give Rooney lots of experience with gentle handling when he was a young pup and we continue to socialize him in many different ways.  As a family we were very consistent in our expectations of Rooney and nobody was allowed to play with him in ways that might frighten him or encourage any sort of aggressive play.  As he is only five months old these are all things we continue to do and he has started his next level of Beginning Obedience so we can continue with his training.

Rooney loves to lie at my feet and will lean into my legs when he's looking for a bit of lovin'.  He's very non-demanding about it and I find his gentle bids for affection incredibly sweet.

[BG and Gavin]

Thanks for the heads up on that book Lori.  I will be sure to check it out.  Rooney sounds like a real sweetheart!

[Kaytlin and Cooper]

I agree, great book!

[Adina P]

I'm NOT sure what I did exactly to help Rosco tolerate physical attention.  I think with Rosco it is partly his personality to be a bit of a bear rug.  Also the training I did with him was very physical: lots of physical placement of his body, lots of physical direction while he was learning...and frankly at least prior to the training we did together I didn't really KNOW better than to handle my dog a lot.  Although I think I did probably did use some treats to desensitize him to having his paws handled, etc...I don't know if I did it 'right' ... he was my guinea pig dog.  Boca isn't as in love with being handled...she definitely needs more work but has been pretty tolerant with my youngest child (and they met when my little girl was about 8 months old and Boca was 19 weeks-ish). I trust Rosco far more than I trust Boca (as far as their intended behavior).  Boca, in my opinion, and with ME, is a dog that has a wee bit more potential to lose trust if I make too many mistakes.  That trust is regained quickly, but not like Rosco's trust which, once it was established, has been pretty darn unwavering.  If I push Boca too hard, she quickly gets a little spooky and antsy (not sure either is the right term).

Here is Rosco with my then 7 month old daughter:

Rosco did yawn and about 55 seconds in he started to get a bit riled up like he thought he would play with her a little more energetically.  But overall he looks pretty relaxed to me.  I don't think EVERY SINGLE LITTLE SIGN of discomfort is a red flag of a situation that needs to be stopped.  I might cringe and frown when my infant grabs my hair--discomfort!  But that doesn't mean I'm not able to tolerate his being near me or need to escape.  I think it's the same with dogs and the key is being able to identify the body language and knowing YOUR dog really well.  You can't know a stranger dog like that, though, so better safe than sorry with dogs you don't know very well.

[J and Riley (and Luna)]

That's video is pretty much exactly how Luna is with small children after she's had a chance to say hi.  Initially she's a bit scared if they run at her with arms flailing (she hops away, just like she does with anything else fast-moving).  She then freezes and lets them do whatever they want with her.  She's not 100% comfortable with kids, but she tolerates them.

With us she is a complete suck.  She asks for attention if we're at the computer by putting her face on a leg or a hand and giving a little plaintive whine.  She also sometimes rubs up against legs (like a cat) to ask for body rubs.  If we're sitting on the couch she comes up and sits beside us and if we don't rub her she actually GRABS your arm with her paw and pulls it towards her chest.  Trying to discourage that last behavior because it's quite rude!

  Luna is most definitely a people dog ;)

[Bonnie and Kona]

I love that when Natalie fell onto him, Rosco started to lick her head... "Are you okay there little girly?" So sweet!

[BG and Gavin]

Natalie is just adorable in this video.  I agree about knowing your own dog and always supervising children and dogs together.

[Pattty Oehrlein]

this video is so adorable, it brings back memories of my own family films of me growing up with our collie- who more or less taught me how to walk. My Dad had it on film when I finally let go of the dog and took my own steps. Your Rosco was so loving with the kisses on the head.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Rosco is an angel....what a great teacher for little Natalie.

[Heather Martinez]

That is so interesting. Teddy interacts the same way as Gavin, sitting in front of me with his back straight while I'm on the couch (he doesn't like to be told to lie down when he's sitting there, he always wants to sit in front of me). And he'll also put his head on my lap when I'm sitting down.

We took a puppy fun class when Teddy was 3 months old, and I learned that dogs don't like to be hugged, so I worked on hugging Teddy a lot to get him used to it. Almost every day after his walk he jumps up on this wall near my house, so I can stand up and he's at the right height to put my arms around him. My husband and I hug him all the time and he doesn't react, just sits there calmly.