OT -- When Does Middle Age Become OLD

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

Ok, I'm way off topic here, so just ignore the post if it isn't something you are interested in.  This has been bugging me a lot lately so just wanted to see what others experience has been with this!   When we made the decision to leave Florida and return to Ohio about 4.5 years ago it was because my parents were entering their 70's and although they were as healthy as ever, we just wanted to be here and be settled in the event it ever got to the point where they needed some assistance.  It ultimately has been a good decision in that although their hasn't been any major medical crisis, there has been a few times where it was good that we were here.  As I've been going to some of the doctors appointments with them and the occasional ER visit I'm noticing a trend that I really don't like at all.  I'm hearing words from the Doctors like "Once you are 70 we don't operate for that any longer".  "You will die of other issues before this cancer will kill you, so we don't treat it once you are 70".  Or, my all time least favorite ... yesterday my Mom took my Dad to the ER.  Now to get an understanding of why this bugs me so much you would need to know that my Dad is like the energizer bunny.  He just turned 75 in January and although he has slowed down some in the last few years he can still work circles around any of us kids and most of the other people I know.  And when I say work, I'm talking about loading and unloading wagon loads of hay from the fields, building houses, etc.  Not office work.  Yesterday when my Mom took him to the ER, when they registered in, the lady at the desk pick up the phone and called to the back "We have an OLD man out here".    WTD ?   When my Mom told me this I was appalled.  That isn't an old man, that is my Dad and my Dad could work circles around you lady!  He also just recently hurt his back and the Doctor said there is no reason to do an MRI because they don't normally operate on backs after you are 70.  Both of my Dad's parents lived into their 90's, why if there is something wrong with his back that could be fixed would they not look at fixing it!  And stop calling him Old. 

[F, Calla & Luca]

The surgery itself is much easier in thin patients true. Visualisation is easier etc. Also incisions are under less stress in slim people. Some patients can easily rupture incisions due to obesity. But these factors are not the same kind of basic healing process I meant. For instance, after a certain age surgery is unlikely to be recommended for menisci in knees because the healing ability of the cartilage itself is significantly less with age. At least that's how I understand it.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

That makes sense to me.

My mom had hip replacement surgery at 69 and did beautifully, though. Although 69 is not old, lol.

[F, Calla & Luca]

It gets younger every day : )

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Here, F, I did a little bit of searching for you. Weight does play a role in surgical outcomes, at least according to this article: http://backandneck.about.com/od/medication/f/obesitybacksurg.htm

[F, Calla & Luca]

Just saw this. Of course surgery has more complications in obese people. And lots of other conditions affect healing too. But the basic fact is age does affect healing and operative outcomes too. And back surgery is always a tricky business to begin with.

Clearly all patients should be individually evaluated, and risk versus benefits considered. But everyone should seek other opinions if they feel discriminated against because of age or disagree with the opinion they get. Most surgeons like to operate, for many reasons, so if they recommend against surgery you have to give that some weight too. I would, and have, gone to a physiatrist rather than an orthopedic surgeon, simply because I want surgery to be the last, not the first option.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

And here's a study in which frailty is related to surgical outcomes in older patients:

http://www.journals.elsevierhealth.com/periodicals/acs/article/S107...

[F, Calla & Luca]

Karen I am not disagreeing with you that thin, fit older patients do better than obese, unfit older patients. The question was basically age in relationship to healing. And the answer is very complicated in real life.

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

When I started getting the AARP stuff in the mail I immediately buried it in the trash...I didn't want anyone to see my trash and think someone old lived at my house. I am NOT old. The first time someone asks me if I want the discount at a movie theater they had better not be withing arms length from me...I am NOT old. If a waitress dares to point out the over 55 menu to me she can forget her tip...I am NOT old.  When I get SSI updates in the mail for me I look at them and tuck them away...I am NOT old. When my husband gets them I look at them and tell him how much more money he will get if he waits to retire when he's 70 and tell him he is NOT old!

The person at the desk who referred to your father as "the old man" is shameful, and disrespectful, the "stupid person "behind the desk should be reported.

I hope the reason your Dad had to go is not that bad and he is feeling better.

[Pat and Traveler]

Old is 10 years older than whatever age I happen to be at the time.  :)   That comment would have offended me too.  There does seem to come a point where a person is identified by age, even before gender, race, or any other possible identifier, as happened to your dad.

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

Thanks to everyone for their responses.  Hopefully an opportunity will present itself today to talk to someone at the hospital.  The hard part about things like this are that my Dad thinks all Doctors are quacks and all hospitals are abusing the insurance systems.  Until last year when he was diagnosed with prostate cancer he had never been sick a day in his life except for a cold or flu.  Never had a surgery, never been in the hospital except for a back injury.  Was 74 years old and wasn't on any daily medications.  His doctor had always said he wanted to be him.  He had never seen anyone healthier.   Now he seems to be falling apart and it is hard for him to deal with all of this stuff and people who act this way certainly don't help the situation.